Soccer Sorcery

From the Norwegian TV show that brought you electroshock football comes another, slightly less painful new twist on the world's game: bubble football. Even if you hate the sport and like bubbles even less, there's a good chance you'll enjoy the cartoonish qualities of bubble football. Though there's a ball and two goals, by fitting each player on two teams -- Sarpsborg 08 and Fredrikstad -- with a clear plastic bubble that fits over their entire upper body the game quickly turns into a sort of high-speed sumo wrestling as the participants decide that smashing into each other is endlessly delightful. Johan Golden and Henrik Elvestad of the Golden Goals show observe their creation while bubble bodies engage in cushioned violence that sends them bouncing off the turf while their legs flail out of the bottom. In the end, Fredrikstad (the team in white/red) win the match 2-1. The winners rejoice and then everyone goes home to take aspirin. Spotted on Eurosport

Pepe will not be punished by the RFEF after stepping on Lionel Messi's hand during the first leg of Real Madrid and Barcelona's Copa del Rey quarterfinal last week. The fans at the Santiago Bernabeu for Real's 4-1 win over Athletic Bilbao on Sunday were not as forgiving, though. A father a son sitting in the front row (who appeared to be fans of the home side) put up a banner in front of them that read "Pepe, my son does NOT want your shirt." Just in case Pepe was wondering. It's unclear whether Pepe saw the banner, but if he did, he would have been sure to politely offer a kick in the back or a stomp on the child's hand instead of his shirt. He's an accommodating guy.

Anyone who has seen The Simpsons episode where Monty Burns opens a casino knows that betting is evil, and Gamblor will ensnare you with his neon claws if you partake. Taking a punt on the beautiful game, however, is a big part of European football culture and a huge money-making industry. But that industry has made a lot less money recently, thanks to a few lucky chaps who placed unlikely accumulator bets (where one bets on more than one result to receive longer odds). First up is a Maltese villager who staked a single euro on 19 matches in November, giving him odds of 683,783/1. Thanks to toilet seat-stealing right-back Glen Johnson, his ship came in. Reports The Independent : The 41-year-old waiter placed a successful one-euro bet on 19 fixtures landing 570,000 after Glen Johnson's late winner for Liverpool against Chelsea on 20 November secured the final leg. The win was so big and so unexpected that bookmaker William Hill suffered one of its worst months in a decade. Strangel...

Using strong winds in his favor, Paul Owens of Coleraine in the Northern Irish Premiership pulled off the rare feat of scoring two Olimpico goals in one match against Glenavon on Saturday. And he would have had a hat trick of goals directly off his corner kicks had the opposing keeper not punched a third attempt over the crossbar. Owens lofted each ball up into the sky and let the wind do a good portion of the work. This was apparently enough to put Glenavon into a trance each time. Making the whole thing worse for Glenavon is the fact that they had a 1-0 lead before Owens discovered this trick. But, on the bright side, at least Glenavon keeper David O'Hare was able to stave off a few extra night terrors by saving that third attempt.

Manchester United's games against Tottenham, Wolves, Fulham and Blackburn have been moved for TV. The Reds will now face Spurs at White Hart Lane on Sunday March 4 with a 4.10pm kick-off, while the game at Wolves will now take place on Sunday March 18 with a kick-off of 1.30pm. United will host Fulham on Monday March 26 (8pm) and travel to Blackburn on Monday April 4 (8pm). 04/03/2012 - Tottenham v Man Utd 16:10 ex 03/03/2012 18/03/2012 - Wolves v Man Utd 13:30 ex 17/03/2012 26/03/2012 - Man Utd v Fulham 20:00 ex 24/03/2012 02/04/2012 - Blackburn v Man Utd 20:00 ex 31/03/3012 Tweet

Lionel Messi momentarily overtook Cristiano Ronaldo as the top scorer in La Liga this season with a hat trick against Malaga on Sunday. Each of his goals as tremendous (the first was a header from considerable distance for someone who has been accused of not being able to use his head), but his third -- Barcelona's final goal in the 4-1 win -- was one of his trademark sublime runs topped off by a delicate finish while skipping over a challenge. For former Newcastle/Ft. Lauderdale midfielder and current eccentric television commentator/professional Barcelona admirer Ray Hudson, this was all too much. So the only description he could offer of the goal was a gutteral yell you might expect to hear from someone with about a million volts coursing through their body. And, in it's own way, it was perfect. Once he calmed down a bit and changed his pants, Hudson sang Messi's praises in his typically nonsensical way -- something about Dr. Spock being "out of his Vulcan mind....

Reports of disparaging remarks that may or may not have been made by Jose Mourinho in private about Sergio Ramos and Iker Casillas elicited whistles and boos from the Santiago Bernabeu crowd as Real Madrid beat Athletic Bilbao 4-1 on Sunday. According to Mourinho, this is the first time he's ever been jeered by his own club's fans. But he's opting to take it as a compliment. From the Independent : "There is a first time for everything," he said. "It never happened to me at Porto, or at Inter or at Chelsea. It does not bother me. it happened to Zidane, it happened to Cristiano Ronaldo and it happened to the other Ronaldo. If it happened to them then why not to me. They responded with their football and I will keep working hard." [...] Mourinho blamed Ramos for Bara's first goal on Wednesday and a dispute over marking duties ended with the defender reportedly saying: "Sometimes it's necessary to change. You have never been a player so you woul...