Soccer Sorcery

Though Brazil's Fred and Neymar combined to score every goal in their side's 3-0 win against Spain in the Confederations Cup final, neither of them could score more goals than confounding trophy collector Fernando Torres over the entirety of the tournament. Torres was awarded the Golden Boot for finishing with five goals, the same number as Fred and one more than Neymar. And given the unenjoyable result for his team, he understandably looked less than thrilled about his unwearable new shoe. As he did at Euro 2012 , Torres won the award on a combination of tie-breakers. Torres and Fred both had just one assist, so it had to be decided on fewer minutes played, once again proving Torres to be the most formidable...ish scorer in a given competition since he played just 273 minutes to Fred's 423 . Which also proves that Torres possesses the even more admirable trait of being supremely economical (as long as we're not talking about transfer fees no one say anything about tra...

Down 3-0 to Brazil in the 68th minute of the Confederations Cup final, Spain defender Gerard Pique decided to introduce himself to his new Barcelona teammate Neymar and he was shown a red card for his trouble. Desperate to prevent Neymar from scoring his second goal of the match and fifth of the tournament, Pique greeted Neymar with a sliding challenge as the eventual Golden Ball winner looked certain to blow past him for another chance on goal. Neymar went flying and the ref showed Pique a straight red to put Spain down a man and allow Brazil to cruise to their fifth Confederations Cup title. Neymar will surely express his gratitude when Barca's training begins for the new season. This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events.

Fueled by a sea of noise from the home crowd at the Maracana and with an unbeaten streak in competitive matches at home dating back to 1975 (56 games), circumstances conspired to give Brazil a quick lead on reigning world beaters Spain in the Confederations Cup final. A cross into the box in just the second minute of the match got lost in a confusion of bodies. Even though he was laying on the ground, Brazil striker Fred managed to put the ball past Iker Casillas to score the fastest goal Confederations Cup final history (which only dates back to 1992). Emboldened by drawing first blood, Brazil continued to attack as Spain struggled to get any momentum in the first half. When they finally did get a shot past Brazil keeper Julio Cesar, David Luiz made a brilliant sliding clearance to maintain the lead. And then, riding a wave of confidence that could be seen from space, Neymar extended Brazil's lead to 2-0 just before halftime. Here's David Luiz... UPDATE: Second verse same as ...

Coming off an exhausting shootout loss to Spain in the semifinals, Italy and goalkeeper Gianluigi Buffon in particular were eager to end their Confederations Cup experience by washing out that bitter taste in the third-place game against Uruguay. A pair of second-half Edinson Cavani goals kept Italy from finishing off the 2011 Copa America winners in regular time, and once again, extra time only provided another 30 minutes to wear the players out even more. So for the second straight match, Italy were faced with a penalty shootout and this time, Gigi Buffon remembered that he's Gigi Buffon. Uruguay's Diego Forlan opened the shootout and was promptly shut down by Buffon. Italy then made their first two attempts before defender Mattia De Sciglio missed on their third, allowing Uruguay to pull even. Buffon then decided he'd had enough and stopped consecutive shots from his Juventus teammate Martin Caceres and, finally, Walter Gargano to win third place for Italy. After the mat...

Though just 35 years old, Spurs manager Andre Villas-Boas says he will retire from football management within the next 5-10 years to live his dream of competing in the Dakar Rally. And judging by the conviction with which he speaks of the decision, it seems like this is a serious plan that he is committed to carrying out. From Sky Sports : "My passion for football makes me live it very intensively over 11 months and dedicate myself to that, but I think life allows you to enjoy other things," he is quoted as telling Portuguese newspaper O Jogo. "For me, there is a limit and, in the next five to 10 years, I will quit coaching. "To compete in the Dakar Rally is a lifetime ambition for me and is something I know I have to do. "It went from a passion to an obligation, a destination of life, but I can only do it when I leave football. I will do it." "I do not know where my career will take me," Villas-Boas concluded. "What I do know is that it wil...

Montreal Impact defender Hassoun Camara scored a 38th-minute equalizer against Colorado with a clever bit of skill that didn't even require standing up. After tumbling over an opponent in a failed attempt to head a corner kick, Camara found himself sitting in the box. In the confusion as the ball squirted around, it made its way to Camara's feet, allowing him to flick it up to himself and get a shot off while sitting with his back to the net. Since the goalkeeper's attempt to defend the corner kick left him on the ground further up the pitch than Camara, there was no one to stop the shot from going in. Though the commentators in the video above didn't seem too impressed, it was a creative and wonderfully executed maneuver. But it wasn't enough to get a result for Montreal as they went on to lose 4-3.

With the Confederations Cup final between Brazil and Spain on Sunday, Neymarmania has reached new heights as the mere sight of the 21-year-old is making fans pass out from overexcitement outside Brazil's hotel. Neymar has surpassed the impossibly high expectations for him at this tournament scoring in all three of Brazil's group-stage matches and setting up both goals in their semifinal win against Uruguay to earn a place on the Golden Ball shortlist . And with that success, the squeals of fans young and old have only gotten louder. At least, from those who can maintain consciousness upon seeing him in person. When Brazil arrived back at their hotel after training Friday night, a now customary pack of young girls were waiting for them outside. Globoesporte picks up the story from there : The biggest problem was when Neymar got off the bus. Upon hearing his name, the ace turned, waved to the teenager and entered the hotel. The girl could not stand the excitement and fainted. As...