Soccer Sorcery

Ahead of Clint Dempsey's first trip back to Craven Cottage since forcing a move to Tottenham on summer transfer deadline day, he said that he left Fulham because he didn't feel "valued and appreciated" enough. But Fulham manager Martin Jol says he did everything he could to show his appreciation for the American international, who has two goals in 11 appearances for Spurs this season. Including a last-ditch, blunt "I love you." From the BBC : "He didn't feel appreciated financially, but I am not the one deciding over the contracts. "He said it time after time again that he wanted to go to a Champions League club. "Even when I said in my last conversation with him that I loved him, it was not good enough to keep him here." Asked if there was anything Fulham could have done to get make him stay, Jol replied: "No, no. Maybe if Jol stood outside Dempsey window holding an iPod dock over his head in the rain, Clint would've realize...

Eleven points behind Barcelona and sitting third in the table, Real Madrid fan opinion on Jose Mourinho has once again split. Recent matches at the Bernabeu have had dueling sections of jeers and defiant chants of his name, but now Mourinho has scheduled a showdown between himself and the club's supporters before Saturday's derby against second-place Atletico. From Reuters : "They applaud me, they whistle me, that's life in football," Mourinho said at a news conference on Friday when asked about the reaction of the fans. "I'll go out onto the pitch tomorrow at 9.20 p.m. on my own," he added. "Those who want to whistle me they can do it. People who come later should support their team, support their Real Madrid so that Real Madrid can achieve its objective which is to win the match. "It's not a challenge of any kind. If they want to whistle I'll accept it with humility, and with calm as well because I have been around for many years....

Though Robin van Persie did what he could to force Arsene Wenger to sell him to Manchester United in the offseason, the Arsenal manager says the two still keep in contact. "He texts me sometimes, We keep in touch. He tells me he still watches Arsenal games,'' says Wenger . The following is a transcript of their latest texting session. RVP: Top of the table. How's seventh place? ;) Wenger: Stuff it, placenta face. Without you, United would be 12th . Ask Ferguson who's too dependent on you now! RVP: Whatever. We r going to win a bunch of silverware. Good luck going 4 your invisible 4th place trophy. Wenger: And good luck not getting hurt. The chances of you making it through the season without an injury are about as good as Cesc Fabregas starting five matches in a row for Barcelona. RVP: Speaking of injuries I heard Theo Walcott is looking 4 houses in Manchester. And Liverpool. And Italy. LOL Wenger: I don't care if he leaves! He grew an awful mustache and n...

Up until recently, Gareth Bale has been using his official YouTube channel to give short match preview interviews. This week, however, the Spurs star posted a video to demonstrate how unfair life is, because he is naturally better than you at any sport. As you can see, the left-sided Welshman juggles a golf ball before smashing down the driveway on a half-volley. The clip is a lot like Tiger Woods' famous Nike commercial , except his pants are less baggy, the weather is much more English and he's probably not thinking about extramarital relationships while taking his swing. Video: 101GG

With David Beckham playing his last match for the LA Galaxy in the MLS Cup final, there is a lot being written about whether his six years in America have been a success for him, the league and the sport. The answer appears to be an easy "yes" all around, but for Beckham himself, this time has definitely been greatly productive if only because he comes away from it with basketball legend Michael Jordan as his personal concierge. When he joined Real Madrid, Beckham adopted Jordan's shirt number of 23 because he was (and is) a big fan of the former Chicago Bulls (and Washington Wizards) star as a person and athlete. Beckham continued to wear the number when he joined the Galaxy and being in the U.S., he not only became a courtside attraction at Lakers games, but also got the chance to become friends with Jordan. In an interview with ESPN , Beckham admitted that this friendship has its benefits. Said Beckham: "I actually spoke to him the other day. I was at their party ...

Manchester United's Phil Jones Phil Jones accepts he cannot help being injured when he was really needed by Manchester United - and now being fit when everyone else is. It wasn't until last week's Premier League encounter with QPR that Sir Alex Ferguson had more than four defenders to choose from. Michael Carrick and Antonio Valencia have been forced to fill in at times, so stretched have the Reds' resources been. Yet, with Chris Smalling now back from a broken metatarsal and skipper Nemanja Vidic in line to face Cluj in the Champions League on Wednesday, Jones is not guaranteed any involvement despite being available again after summer knee surgery. "That's football," he said. "It's swings and roundabouts with injuries. It's amazing how quickly you can be up there one minute and then down there. Everyone knows that. "I've just got to knuckle down, train well and when I get the chance perform w...

In an interview with GQ, Roma's Argentine-born Italian international, Pablo Osvaldo, revealed one of the reasons why it's been possible for match fixing to be so prevalent in Italy and what he would do if one of his teammates ever tried it. Hint: it involves punching and death. Said Osvaldo (via Football Italia ): "If a teammate sold a game then I wouldn't make the authorities aware of it," the formerEspanyolman noted. "That's because what happens in the changing rooms should stay there," insisted the Azzurri centre-forward. "I wouldn't act as an informer, but I wouldn't turn my back either. In silence, I'd kill him with punches..." The belief that "what happens in the changing rooms should stay there" even if it's something that would damage the sport and the livelihood of everyone in that changing room is one that's easy to understand given the bond among teammates. After all, no one wants to be a rat. But si...

Speaking to the press ahead of the MLS Cup final, his last match in the league, David Beckham once again proved that MLS is losing not just a star player, but a media-charming ambassador and genetically engineered pitchman. As he began to comment about how the arrival of manager Bruce Arena transformed the Beckham-era LA Galaxy into the defending champions they are today, one journalist's phone (doubling as a voice recorder) received a call. Beckham interrupted himself to look at it and offered to answer it before adding, "It's not Samsung, sorry, I can't." With Samsung being one of his many sponsors, there is no way to know if this was some kind of genius staged advertisement or evidence that he is just that good at being a 24/7 product endorser. It's like the corporate shilling equivalent to watching him curl in a free kick .

As Philippe Mexes and half of Chelsea's back line have proven this year, sometimes defenders can score better than their teammates who are actually expected to score goals. Further proving that to be true was Seattle Sounders defender Patrick Ianni, who has won the MLS Goal of the Year award for his stellar volley off a free kick against Kansas City. It was the only goal the 27-year-old former U.S. youth international scored in his 16 matches this season, so it seems to go without saying that he is definitely a believer in quality over quantity. It might not have been quite as good as last year's winner from Darlington Nagbe or Eric Hassli's tremendous runner-up against Seattle (or his Puskas Award nominated goal this year ), but that's really shouldn't cause Ianni to lose sleep.

One of King Eric Cantonas specialities was scoring the vital goal in 1-0 victories and Robin van Persie produced a timely reminder of the Frenchmans forte. These days, the Reds dont tend to do the kind of slender successes on which Sir Alex Ferguson believes Premier League titles are built. Eighteen points salvaged from losing positions shows what theyve been best at this campaign even if it has been tough on the nerve ends. Perhaps after the drudgery of last nights edgy victory everyone, including the United boss, might welcome those heart-stopping rescue acts again. At least dragging themselves out of a hole has a certain masochistic, entertaining quality about it. The fact West Ham fans were taunting the departing United faithful long before the end, cheekily asking if there was a fire drill, showed just what the Reds supporters thought of this. Fergie has been mystified as to why United have had to go a goal behind before it gives them the necessary ...

Dan Walker of the BBC's Football Focus has apologized for commenting that two fans at a Southampton match looked like they were "on the Ronaldo diet" on the program last season. But his apology wasn't directed at any of the people you would suspect. From the Telegraph : The BBC One show had just featured a Gary Lineker interview with Ronaldo, the Brazilian footballer who has put on weight since his playing days. The programme then returned to Walker in St Mary's Stadium, where Southampton were due to face Coventry City on the final day of the Championship season. As the camera panned across a crowd of fans, Walker singled out two men and said: "Looks like those two fellows are on the Ronaldo diet." One viewer contacted the BBC to complain that the remark was "disrespectful" and amounted to bullying. Disrespectful to the fans, but apparently not to Ronaldo, who has struggled with his weight and been the subject of jokes since even before he reti...

The Movember caterpillaron Peter Crouch's upper lip couldn't protect his mouth from a flailing Fabricio Coloccini arm during Stoke's 2-1 win against Newcastle on Wednesday. Crouch, who is seven inches taller than Coloccini, was forced out of the game in the 40th minute with a mouth full of blood and mangled teeth. After the match, Stoke manager Tony Pulis detailed the wreckage (via TeamTalk ): "The doctor had couple of teeth in his hand when he walked off and he has one or two right in his gum too so he is going to have to have a little bit of work done on his teeth." That will make it difficult for Crouch to have his nachos for a while.

With one win in the last ten games and a spot in the Championship relegation zone with their name written on it, Bristol City are having to work extra hard to encourage people to attend matches at Ashton Gate this season. Thankfully, the marketing department have produced this video to encourage the citizens of south west England to snap up half season tickets. If you've ever fantasised about waking up to find goalkeeper Tom Heaton under your BCFC duvet or you've always wondered how quickly striker Ryan Taylor could bag your groceries, it will be right up your alley. It's actually a pretty amusing concept for a promotional video, if a little let down by the hilariously stilted acting. Let's just say Daniel Day-Lewis needn't worry about a late threat for his Oscar in February.

The effects of economic disaster on all levels of Greek football (and most other aspects of life) continues, this time with one of the country's biggest clubs, Panathinaikos, behind on their electric bill. Panathinaikos have been renting the 69,618-seat Olympic Stadium from the state since 2008 (and off and on before that), but financial struggles have left them unable to keep up with the electric bill, leading to calls for them to start playing their matches during the day. From Reuters : In an open letter to the Greek Super League, Hellenic Football Federation and television broadcaster Nova, the stadium's management team head Peter Galaktopoulos said the club had not met the minimum financial obligations. Galaktopoulos suggested the club play during daylight hours so that it would not be charged the cost of electricity for lighting. However, the proposal is unlikely to be adopted as the majority of the club's home games are scheduled for prime television evening slots as...

Since joining Chelsea, Fernando Torres has gone from a British record-setting transfer to a goal-barren punchline and now he is the benchmark for judging when one should truly panic about a Premier League striker's dip in form. Speaking about how Papiss Cisse has gone from scoring 13 goals in 14 matches after joining Newcastle midway through last season to scoring just one goal in 11 matches so far this season, manager Alan Pardew put the drastic swing in perspective with a bit of help from "poor old Torres." From the Independent : Pardew said: "I am taking to him and trying to calm him, tell him that he's still he same player and we are still very confident in him. "It's only been a small period if you compare it to, say Torres' period, but you would have to say it's something we are going to have to keep an eye on because we don't want it to end up like poor old Torres has ended up at times. "He's a great player, Papiss, and we wan...

RUUD van Nistelrooy wants his Dutch countryman Robin Van Persie to blow away his United goals records. Van Nistelrooy scored 150 goals in 219 appearances for the Reds from 2001 to 2006 and in that time became Old Traffords all-time number one European goalscorer. It all began when the striker came steaming out of the blocks following his 19m move from PSV Eindhoven. A Charity Shield goal against Liverpool at Wembley kicked off a run of eight goals in his first 14 appearances 11 years ago. Since Van Persies 24m summer move from Arsenal he has cracked in 11 goals in the same number of games. By his standards, last seasons Premier League Golden Boot winner is currently suffering a barren period, having not scored in his last three games against Aston Villa, Norwich and QPR. But 36-year-old Van Nistelrooy, who retired at the end of last season, believes RVP can get even better in a United shirt. I think he can become an even better player he...

Chelsea finally beat Barcelona in a Champions League semifinal last season and there was nothing Tom Henning Ovrebo could do about it. Naturally this was adevastating moment for Barcaand it was heightened by the fact that it was Pep Guardiola's last season with the club. When the team retired to their dressing room to wallow in theirdisappointment, club photographer Miguel Ruiz was there to capture it for a new book entitled Barca: Proud of our Colors (which, judging by the smiles of the players who have looked through it , also contains some happy moments too). Here are the photos... "I should buy a boat." "Siberia. Shorts. Run." "This is worse than the time they closed Legoland on my birthday." Previously: Lionel Messi crying after Barca's Copa del Rey loss to Real Madrid

A group of scientists has made the startling claim that professional football matches are taking place in the middle of events across Europe that were previously thought to be exclusively devoted to watching a relative few engage in racism, homophobia and anti-semitism. Though the findings have yet to be verified, they have come as anunwelcomesurprise to the participants, attendees and fans of these events around the world. "I thought we were just going to politely listen to other people do racism or join in with some of our own," said one racism event season ticket holder. "I had no idea there was a game happening that was meant to be enjoyed. Why didn't someone tell us? This is definitely someone else's fault." Some experts have doubted the scientists' findings based on the belief that having a fun sport -- a source of entertainment and refuge from life's more serious concerns that brings all different people together over a common interest -- in t...

Throughout the holiday season, we will be trawling official club shops for the items that will make the very best gift ideas for the very worst people on your list. This week: The Aston Villa bread press . This might be the most useless item ever sold, not just by a football club, but by anyone anywhere. This is the Aston Villa bread press. Your first thought upon seeing it was probably, "Why?" Well, the club shop doesn't offer much help there as the item's description is simply "Aston Villa Bread Press." But who wants to eat bread with letters smashed into it? Has there ever been an Aston Villa fan who thought, "My sandwiches always taste like turd because they don't have AVFC bludgeoned into them."? Does everyone know that you will never get back the time spent using the Aston Villa bread press? The bread press is available in one size only and can be ordered in quantities up to 10. It is priced at 4.79, which seems a bit expensive for a bit ...

To maximize the marketability of the world's greatest athletes, a logo is apparently necessary. Michael Jordan, Roger Federer and Tiger Woods all have one and last year, Leo Messi unveiled his superhero style mark . Now, at the age of 20, Neymar has one to call his own . Advertising agency Loducca came up with the design, which seems less likely to inspire a comic book than Messi's. It "unites strength and elegance" by combining Neymar Jr.'s initials and his shirt number (11). And it probably took all of 18 seconds to create. Easy money for Loducca and it will probably lead to easy money for Neymar.

SIDELINED: Manchester United's Paul Scholes Paul Scholes will miss Manchester United's Barclays Premier League encounter with West Ham. The veteran midfielder is suspended after picking up his fifth booking of the season at the weekend and his place goes to Anderson, who impressed as a second-half substitute against QPR. Antonio Valencia (hip) has an outside chance of being fit for the leaders. Midfielder Mark Noble is suspended for West Ham after accumulating five yellow cards. Left-back George McCartney is a doubt after suffering an ankle injury against Tottenham and midfielder Yossi Benayoun is still not available as he looks to overcome a thigh problem. Midfielder Jack Collison (knee) and forward Ricardo Vaz Te (shoulder) are also ruled out. Manchester United (from): De Gea, Lindegaard, Rafael, Jones, Evans, Smalling, Ferdinand, Evra, Buttner, Valencia, Fletcher, Carrick, Anderson, Powell, Cleverley, Young, Giggs, Van Persie, Rooney...

Manchester United goalkeeper David de Gea David de Gea has every reason to feel down in the mouth as the battle to be Uniteds number one goalkeeper is back in the melting pot. Just when the Spaniard looked like hed won the fight with rival Anders Lindegaard to be Sir Alex Fergusons first choice glove wearer he is forced out of the action by surgery on his wisdom teeth. The 21-year-old had the role in his hands at the start of the season but blew it with an error against Fulham. Danish international Lindegaard took over in the Premier League with De Gea given Champions League and Capital One Cup outings but had to relinquish the position when he was hit by an ankle injury. De Gea returned at Newcastle and played the next five league matches before he had to have his wisdom teeth extracted. He was unavailable for Norwich and Galatasaray but was on the bench against QPR last Saturday. It is yet another twist in the Old Trafford goalkeeping situation. For De Gea, ...

At the end of October, Landon Donovan told ESPN that he needed some time away from the game . Those comments were soon overshadowed by the LA Galaxy reaching the MLS Cup final and David Beckham's surprise announcement that the match would be his last with the club . But in an interview with the LA Times, the Galaxy's 30-year-old captain has reiterated his ambivalence and uncertainty about his professional future, making it sound less like standard end-of-season tiredness and more like a warning of an extended break or even retirement. From the LA Times : "I'm going to take as much time as I need and decide if and when I'm ready to come back," he said. "I can't put a time frame on that. If it takes two weeks and I'm ready to go again or two months or a year or two years. "Or never. I don't know." [...] "I'm aware of what I'm feeling, what I'm going through," he said. "And if I wake up one day and I say '...

Following the dismissal of unpopular Brazil manager Mano Menezes last week, former Barcelona manager Pep Guardiola was widely rumored to be the top candidate (as he is for every job in world football) to replace him. Though there were reports that Guardiola was immediately interested in the position and would end his time away from the game "tomorrow" to take it, Brazil FA president Jose Marin has dared to reject the Golden Pep (and every other foreign manager). From Sky Sports : "There is a very little chance it will be a foreign coach. We have won five World Cups with Brazilian coaches and I don't think it will be necessary," Marin told Terra. Many would argue that it's even more important for Brazil to have a homegrown manager now since they will be hosting the next World Cup, but that might actually be a good reason not to have a Brazilian gaffer. A foreign coach wouldn't have the added pressure of doing his job in front of his impatient countrymen....

American artist Lisa Ann Auerbach is currently showing her brand of sweater-based expression in Malmo, Sweden . This, of course, is the hometown of Swedish god of thunder Zlatan Ibrahimovic. So one of Auerbach's designs for the exhibition is a Zlatan (or "Zlatn," as she says it) sweater. Suggested by an amazing employee at Malmo Konsthall, where the exhibit is behing held, Auerbach introduces the sweater in the video below as being a "ridiculous, over the top sports sweater for a fan." What she meant to say, however, is that it is the greatest sweater to ever exist. The design for the Zlatan sweater was inspired by his tattoos , hence the ace of hearts and "kind of weird tribal things." Sadly, it seems unlikely to be mass produced for the holiday season. The Zlatan sweater is unveiled around 50 seconds into the video. Thanks to Vladimir for the tip!

Joey Barton has already made his mark on Marseille by scoring directly from a corner in the Euopa League, and now it appears Marseille has made its mark on him. Despite living in France for less than two months, the Liverpudlian ingratiated himself to his adopted homeland by putting on a French accent in a presser following his league debut for the Ligue 1 side. It ees remarkably similar to ze manner in which Steve McClaren adopted Dutch intonations when 'e joined FC Twente, non? Of course, being an erudite media-savvy hipster who is far too intelligent for the beautiful game, Barton has already responded to his Gallic enunciation on Twitter: In my defence, it is very difficult to do a press conference in Scouse for a room full of French journalists. The alternative is to speak... Joseph Barton (@Joey7Barton) November 26, 2012 ...like a 'Allo Allo!' character which is choose. Its simply a case of you had to be there. #youstupidwomen ! Joseph Barton (@Joey7Barton) Nove...

Inter Milan midfielder Wesley Sneijder Speculation linking Wesley Sneijder with a move to Manchester United has re-surfacedafter the Dutchman's contract stand-off with Inter Milan. The 28-year-old has been told he will not play for the first team unless he agrees to an "adjusted" contract. The Reds invested in Shinji Kagawa and Nick Powell in the summer but an uninspiring performance against QPR - until Anderson came on - might have boss Sir Alex Ferguson thinking about re-inforcements. Inter Milan coach Andrea Stramaccioni said: Over the summer Inter decided to have some very clear guidelines that we wanted to use throughout the transfer campaign. Within this idea of the club, that must be respected and shared, we have to understand the position of the player. I have enormous respect for Wesley as a player and a man, but right now my position as Coach is not to use him as a technical decision based on what I see in training...

With just a few days to prepare, Rafa Benitez led Chelsea to a dismal 0-0 draw against Man City in his first match with the club. Chelsea fans made their feelings for the new manager known from the start, booing him and singing their praise for the ousted Roberto Di Matteo while Stamford Bridge was spotted with "Rafa Out!" banners. After the match, professional killjoy Geoff Shreeves interviewed Benitez and made absolutely sure that Rafa knew that no one in the building liked him. Reminiscent of his insistence on drilling Branislav Ivanovic with the fact that he would not play in last season's Champions League final due to yellow card accumulation, Shreeves asked Benitez about the "absolutely awful" reception he got. When Benitez said he was too focused on the match to notice, Shreeves reiterated just how horrific it was. To his credit, Benitez tried to force a smile and remain positive, but Shreeves pressed on, saying all he could to try and ensure that the Sp...

Zlatan Ibrahimovic made his defiant return to Ligue 1 following his two-match ban for kicking a goalkeeper in the chest and he promptly scored two goals and set up two others in PSG's 4-0 win against Troyes. Of course, being the best player in France causes one to develop a mighty thirst and when Zlatan attempted to satisfying that thirst with a drink of water, the Craziest Man in the World attempted to take it from him mid-sip. The man seemed to be defending a bottle of water that didn't belong to Zlatan, but what he clearly didn't know is that all water belongs to Zlatan. This brazen fool was lucky though. Since Zlatan is fresh off his ban, he didn't decapitate him with a bicycle kick. Instead, Zlatan shot him a death glare normally reserved for pictures of Pep Guardiola. No one has ever been luckier than this man in this moment. Video via @murphnd @PhilippeAuclair and @erikbielderman

Roma claim they have discovered "serious defects" in the gear provided by kit manufacturer Kappa and Kappa's parent company, BasicNet, has responded by suing Roma for making up excuses to wiggle out of their deal. Roma announced their decision with this (via Football Italia ): "In consideration of the serious defects found in the technical material and the line of clothing produced by BASIC ITALIA S.p.A. for the 2012/13 season, the A.S. Roma S.p.A. board of directors has decided to cancel the contract with the technical sponsor with immediate effect due to BASIC ITALIA's non-performance of contractual obligations." Despite being seriously defective, Roma still promise to wear the Kappa kits until the end of the season. Unamused by this development, the president of BasicNet has responded by issuing this statement to ANSA: "For over a year the Americans now in charge of Roma have declared their intention to terminate the contract with us. "The reaso...

Roma claim they have discovered "serious defects" in the gear provided by kit manufacturer Kappa and Kappa's parent company, BasicNet, has responded by suing Roma for making up excuses to wiggle out of their deal. Roma announced their decision with this (via Football Italia ): "In consideration of the serious defects found in the technical material and the line of clothing produced by BASIC ITALIA S.p.A. for the 2012/13 season, the A.S. Roma S.p.A. board of directors has decided to cancel the contract with the technical sponsor with immediate effect due to BASIC ITALIA's non-performance of contractual obligations." Despite being seriously defective, Roma still promise to wear the Kappa kits until the end of the season. Unamused by this development, the president of BasicNet has responded by issuing this statement to ANSA: "For over a year the Americans now in charge of Roma have declared their intention to terminate the contract with us. "The reaso...

The scapegoat for Brazil after scoring an own goal in the 2010 World Cup, Felipe Melo has had his issues as a midfielder, but he may have found his true calling as a goalkeeper for Galatasaray after stepping up to save a vital late penalty. Galatasaray's actual goalkeeper, Fernando Muslera, gave up a penalty and was sent off in the 89th minute of Saturday's match against Elazigspor with Galatasaray up 1-0. Melo then put on the goalkeeper's gloves to fill in at the all-important moment and made a diving two-handed save to retain his side's lead. He then celebrated by crawling around on all fours and doing his pitbull celebration (which is even in FIFA 13 , by the way). By saving that win, Felipe Melo keeps Galatasaray just one point behind Turkish Super Lig leaders Antalyaspor. And maybe now he'll get a call back into the Brazil squad in a new position.

Danny Welbeck (left) in action for Manchester United against QPR's Armand Traore Sir Alex Ferguson admitted his frustration after Manchester United had to come from behind again to beat QPR. Jamie Mackie put QPRthem into a second-half lead but after a brief panic, the Reds turned the game round with three goals ineight minutes. Jonny Evans equalised with his third of the season before Darren Fletcher and Javier Hernandez completed the comeback. "We played for 10 or 15 minutes," said Ferguson. "That was the sum total of our real performance from Manchester United. "Of course it is frustrating we keep ending up in that position but when they scored it definitely sparked us up." Ferguson hailed the introduction of Anderson for Paul Scholes, who will miss Wednesday's encounter with West Ham through suspension, as pivotal. However, Fletcher's goal was more notable, his first in the Premier League in 13 months as he made ...

Manchester United take on Harry Redknapp's QPR looking to bounce back from last week's defeat at Norwich. Click here from 2.15pm for analysis, live text commentary, player stats and standings on our match centre. Tweet

It's been far too long since Andrei Arshavin graced us with a Q&A with the crazies on his official website. Luckily, we do have this video from a couple months ago that somehow eluded us until now in which Andrei answers questions from Twitter in typical Andrei fashion. First, Arshavin says that the worst thing he did as a kid was, "I said to my mommy that I did not love her." This was quite funny to Andrei and the others in the room. Next, he's asked how he feels when standing next to Per Mertesacker . "No problem because anyway everyone is taller than me," he says. "Maybe except Cazorla now. Again, he smirks. Later, he is asked if he owns a horse -- the most pressing question for any footballer. To this he admits that he is "scared of any horses, even when they are on tele." Andre then reveals that he doesn't care much for superheroes because why are they so great? But for the sake of being polite and giving an answer, he says Super...

Leandro Schiavi, younger brother of Boca Juniors defender Rolando Schiavi, has been given a six-year ban for his part in a vicious assault on the referee during a match between Club Jorge Newbery and Huracan earlier this month. After Schiavi was booked a second time and sent off, he and several of his teammates attacked the referee, with Schiavi himself getting in the worse blow with a kick to the official's head. As a result of the incident, Schiavi and two of his teammates were given six-year bans while four others were given one-year bans. This is why you have to be incredibly brave to be a referee in Argentina. This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events.

It didn't take long for Rangers to set a new Scottish Third Division attendance record upon being dumped into the fourth-tier league this season and now the club's overwhelming level of support has led to this weekend's match at Elgin City being postponed. The match was to be the second meeting of the season between first-place Rangers and second-place Elgin City, but tickets were oversold at the Borough Briggs Stadium (which had the league's best average attendance last season with a whopping 628). From the Press Association : Match Commander Superintendent Mark Cooper said: "On Friday afternoon it came to light that tickets for Saturday's Elgin City v Rangers fixture had been substantially oversold. After discussions with the club it was clear that we were faced with the prospect of at least 1,100 extra fans turning up for what was an already sold-out fixture. "We understand that fans will be disappointed with the cancellation of this match but our pri...

Manchester United unveiled a statue of Sir Alex Ferguson outside Old Trafford at a ceremony attended by the manager's current squad and many of his past greats. The statue depicts Ferguson with his arms crossed in a defiant pose that would intimidate any referee who might dare to refuse his shouts for a penalty or a dozen extra minutes of stoppage time. From Reuters: Artist Philip Jackson, who was also responsible for another Old Trafford statue portraying former manager Matt Busby as well as the United Trinity piece featuring Bobby Charlton, George Best and Denis Law, resisted the temptation to capture Ferguson berating a referee, chewing gum or looking at his watch. "I've tried to portray him as a man of great determination and as a thinking man, but also with humour which he has in abundance, so there's just a slight smile in the corner of his mouth. That's really what I wanted to portray," Jackson said. Yes, nothing says "humor in abundance" like...

1 / 3 Enlarge Play Slideshow Hundreds of United fans have gathered at Old Trafford to see a statue unveiled of manager Sir Alex Ferguson. They stood in the cold with the United squad and legends including Sir Bobby Charlton, Denis Law and Eric Cantona as the 9ft-statue was revealed at a ceremony in his honour. It has been erected outside the former North Stand, which was renamed the Sir Alex Ferguson stand last year to mark his 25th anniversary at the club. Sir Alex looked on as the statue, creat! ed by sc ulptor Philip Jackson, was unveiled by his wife Cathy. He said: Ive had an unbelievable journey at the club and Ive managed some great players including many who are here today. There should be a statue for all of them because they have been marvellous. Im really proud today. Its a fantastic honour. Tweet

Rafa, what are you doing? I mean this as serious question, Rafa. What are you doing? You are like a boy who goes to school, gets sick from eating glue that is clearly labeled "toxic -- do not eat," takes two years to recover, writes blog, then comes back to school and immediately eats another kind of glue that also has warning label on it. This behavior is not funny. Except, yes, OK, it is very funny. Hahahahahaha. That is me laughing at you. Why do you keep jumping into my wake and trying not to drown, Rafa? At Inter, you had a team that belonged to me and lifted the UEFA Super Cup and the Club World Cup because I made it possible. Then you urinated into the wind by attempting to give the owner an ultimatum and got sacked after six months. Who does this? Are you actually eating glue like the Rafa boy in my analogy? Maybe you should check your house for gas leak or some kind of poison spiders. Now, after two years of watching me win more trophies and spending your time fartin...

Phil Jones (left) in action for Manchester United against Galatasaray Anders Lindegaard believes fit-again Manchester United defender Phil Jones can be a key man in the busy run up to Christmas. The Reds face QPR and West Ham in November before eight December games including the Manchester derby. Jones made his comeback from a knee injury at the Turk Telecom Arena in the 1-0 loss against Galatasaray. "Phil did well," Lindegaard added. "He showed he's on the way back and that he's an important player for us. "He's going to be very important in the next couple of months when we have plenty of games coming up." Lindegaard, meanwhile, admits he found it hard to look on the bright side asUnited lost their 100% Champions League record. With qualification already assured, Sir Alex Ferguson opted to leave most of his senior stars out of the trip to Galatasaray. And while Ferguson - who flew home immediately after the game t...

Darren Fletcher believes Nick Powell's tough grounding in English football's lower league will serve him well during his time at Manchester United. Powell, a summer signing from Crewe, was handed his first United start in Turkey last night and came closest to scoring with a header that crashed against the crossbar. The appearance against Galatasaray turned the 18-year-old into the second youngest Englishman ever to play for the Reds in Europe's most prestigious competition. To underline how rapidly Powell has risen, just a year and a day previously he was appearing in front of barely 2,000 spectators in a League Two match at Morecambe. It may seems like a completely different world but Fletcher feels it could prove to be a very useful asset. "Playing in the lower leagues as a teenager will have hardened him up," said Fletcher. "In some ways it is a better grounding because you get toughened up. "You play with and against...

A week ago, Zlatan Ibrahimovic won fawning praise and all the world's hyperbole for his astonishing overhead kick in a friendly against England. Now, former teammate Philippe Mexes has done his best to mimic Zlatan's wonder goal in Milan's 3-1 win against Anderlecht in the Champions League and Adriano Galliani thinks it should be worthy of a sainthood. Said Milan general manager Galliani (via Football Italia ): "Ibrahimovic scored that goal in a friendly, but this one was official and we hope it'll go round the world just like Ibra's did. "If Leo Messi had scored that, every news channel around the world would show it and he'd have been made a saint tonight! As spectacular as it was (especially from a defender) and as right as Galliani is that this one came in a match that actually mattered, I think Ibrahimovic's was still a bit better because: 1) He is Zlatan and 2) I'm not sure Mexes could've done that if he was three and a half inches t...

Before Borussia Dortmund steamrollered Ajax 4-1 on Wednesday night to ensure a place in the final 16 of the Champions League, Mario Gtze pulled off some showboating of the highest order during a training session at the unnecessarily capitalized Amsterdam ArenA. The midfielder skilfully juggled his chewing gum and - unconcerned by its contact with his boots that have been on the dirty ground flicked it back into his own mouth. Gtze isn't the first footballer to combine juggling and mastication, as both Mesut zil and Rafael van der Vaart have been spotted playing with their Wrigley's during warm-ups. Video H/T: 101GG

Nick Powell goes close for United by directing his header against the bar On a night of ear-splitting bedlam this was the platform for some of Uniteds squad to prove if theyd become Old Trafford big noises or slip quietly out of the picture. It may have been the Reds first defeat of this Champions League campaign but it wasnt a bad shout. It proved United had an underbelly that can back up those experienced campaigners watching at home on TV. It is on hostile and challenging nights like this where Sir Alex Ferguson sorts out the wheat from the chaff in his squad. Collectively for Uniteds immediate European future such dead rubbers do not register highly on the Richter scale. But for the players themselves, not to mention the future well-being of the club, these matches are anything but non-events. The last comparable evening in Turkey was eight years ago when the Reds had already booked their Champions League knockout stage ticket ahead of a final group ga...

It gets pretty cold in Moscow this time of year, so the players on Barca's bench pulled out the grandma blankets for Tuesday's Champions League match against Spartak. Carles Puyol did not require this form of body-warming technology, though. Because he is capable of keeping himself warm only through sheer focus and the lit flares he keeps in his boots. Anyway, he must have forgotten to pack the shorts he wore to the Champions League draw a couple years ago.