Soccer Sorcery

Neymar, the fauxhawked 19-year-old Brazilian phenom, is now a father. His son, Davi Lucca, was born in Sao Paulo on Wednesday. The mother is 17. This might be the start of a "Teen Mom" spinoff called "Teen Footballer Dad." In related news, Real Madrid have made a90 million package-deal offer for both Neymar and Davi. Photo: @ Njr92

Samir Nasri Manchester United are on standby to make a shock late swoop for Manchester City target Samir Nasri, according to a report. The French ace is set to move for the Blues for 23m after undergoing a medical in Manchester on Tuesday night. However, the Daily Mail report that United are hopeful the lure of a central midfield spot at Old Trafford could make Nasri think twice. What do you think? Have your say. Tweet

Yeah, yeah, yeah -- Zinedine Zidane, Marco Materazzi. Whatever. Villarreal's Borja Valero executed a headbutt that was arguably even more awesome in his side's 3-0 Champions League playoff win over Odense on Tuesday. When Andreas Johansson shoved Valero to the ground and then kicked him in the back of the head, Valero reacted like an angry bull and rammed his head right into Johansson's chest, launching the Odense midfielder off the ground. As per usual with headbutts to the chest, Valero was sent off with a straight red, while Johansson was given a yellow. And this was all just a mere five minutes after Odense's Bashkim Kadrii was booked a second time and sent off himself for something that wasn't nearly as funny looking as this.

All the stuff being covered outside the unfriendly confines of the award-winning Dirty Tackle... Philippe Senderos just can't do anything right. [ 101gg ] My ridiculous yet plausible Premier League predictions for this season. [ Life's a Pitch ] Man City new boy gets a Bentley to match his new club. [ TBG ] Five things you could buy with Samuel Eto'o's new salary. [ KCKRS ] The awesome plans for a crocodile shaped stadium in Turkey. [ Stadium Porn ] The true cost of pride? This is Anzhi Makhachkla. [ IBWM ] Carlos Tevez actually owned by fugitive oligarchs and enemies of Vladimir Putin. [ Guardian ] Javier Pa! store's impressive ball control (entirely different from Joey Barton's). [ STI ] It's time to close the transfer window sooner. [ twohundredpercent ] A letter (and a dare) to crazy Arsene Wenger. [ Surreal Football ] Cesc Fabregas on joining Barcelona: "I've made a huge mistake." [ The Gaffer ]

A couple of years ago, 18-year-old Belgian striker Romelu Lukaku visited London on a school trip and TV cameras were there to capture his awe for Stamford Bridge and statement of intent to one day play for Chelsea while he was there. And now that he has officially accomplished that goal by signing for the club this summer, he had an "I told ya so" to slap on his former teacher. From Sporting Life : We were visiting the city and I didn't know we'd be going to Chelsea on the day," he said. "I saw a big blue building and thought what is this? As we got closer I saw it was Stamford Bridge. I thought 'wow!' "I couldn't speak because I always wanted to come here. When my class went to the dressing room I stayed behind on the pitch looking. "I imagined myself playing there alongside Didier Drogba and the other lads. "A teacher asked me 'what are you doing here?'. I told him that one day I'd play here. "When I signe...

Samuel Eto'o is on his way to Russia, where billionaire oligarch Suleyman Kerimov will make him the highest paid footballer in the world. All the 30-year-old has to do is pass a medical and play with Brazilian legend Roberto Carlos at Anzhi in the Russian province of Dagestan and he'll reportedly get 20 million per season over the next three years. From the AP : While financial terms were not disclosed, Eto'o is expected to be paid 20 million ($29 million) net per season, eclipsing the estimated 12 million ($17.4 million) that Cristiano Ronaldo earns at Real Madrid and the 10.5 million ($15.2 million) that Lionel Messi is paid by Barcelona. After a week of negotiations in Milan, the transfer fee was reportedly set between 25 and 27 million ($36 and $39 million). Not only does this deal put the former Inter and Barcelona striker well ahead of Cristiano and Messi, it also means he's getting paid more than the NBA's highest paid player, Kobe Bryant ( $25.2 million )...

Alex Ferguson has a dilemma: Too many strikers and not enough starting spots for all of them. Of course, this is a great problem to have, but it's still a problem and one that is troubling the Man United gaffer. With Wayne Rooney, Dimitar Berbatov, Michael Owen, Chicharito, and Danny Welbeck off to a promising start. Plus Mame Biram Diouf and Kiko Macheda, Ferguson asked the question that now plagues him after his side's win over Spurs on Monday, saying, "The horrible part for me now is with having Javier back, what do we do? It is going to be a big problem for me." The following is a transcript of how Sir Alex sorted that big problem at Man United's next training session. Ferguson: Wayne, Michael, Javier, Dimitar, Michael, Danny, Michael -- gather around. Rooney: What's up, boss? Ferguson: Well, we've got a lot of talent up top and you all deserve to play as much as possible. But, there are only so many minutes to go around, so we have to decide w...