Soccer Sorcery

Though the end of a calendar year tends to be a rather arbitrary point in the timeline of world football, the fact that it marks a momentary break for most leagues and players makes it as good a time as any to look back on the recent past. The video above does a fairly good job of boiling down the last 12 months to the moments that are most worth remembering (but if you don't have an extra nine minutes, these are the top five stories I picked for Yahoo!'s year in review series). But amidst Chelsea's Champions League run, the unbelievable way Man City took the Premier League title and Zambia's African Cup of Nations shocker there were some DT posts that some people seemed to like. Here is a sampling of the year in Dirty Tackle... - Alessandro Del Piero credited with waking a girl from a coma . - A look at Real Madrid Resort Island . - Future News: Barcelona petition FIFA to declare possession more important than goals . - The world's media really wanted to believe o...

The Getty Images caption for this picture reads: "Zlatan Ibrahimovic of PSG gives funny instructions to all the security guards after borrowing a walkie-talkie from a bodyguard, on his way to the Paris Saint Germain training session held at the Aspire Academy for Sports Excellence on December 30, 2012 in Doha, Qatar." This raises a number of questions, which I will now answer for you. First, the bodyguard mentioned there isn't for Zlatan, it's for his teammates. As we know, he has a habit of kicking his colleagues and he wasted no time in doing so upon joining PSG last summer . Second, Zlatan only "borrowed" the walkie-talkie from saidbodyguardafter kicking him into outer space. Third, the instructions he gave all the security guards weren't meant to be funny. He seriously wanted them to hunt down Pep Guardiola and put things in his soup and then go home andconceivechildren and then name each and every one of those children Zlatan. And fourth, Zlatan fo...

England winger/forward Theo Walcott has legally changed his name to Thierry Henry and started speaking with a French accent, prompting Arsenal to meet every one of his contract demands. The two sides had been involved in a highly publicized stand-off that lasted months as Henry (nee Walcott) demanded more money than Arsenal were prepared to offer and a switch to playing as a striker. Both of those wishes have now been granted with the player signing a contract that reportedly pays him "all the money" until "the next Thierry Henry is found." The many comparisons to the old Thierry Henry -- who is once again training with Arsenal after his eight-year term with the club and brief loan spell last season -- intensified for Walcott when he scored a hat trick in his side's 7-3 win against Newcastle. Following that performance, he changed his name and manner of speaking, prompting Arsenal to act. "As soon as Theo showed me the papers saying that his name is now Thi...

Former PSG midfielder Modeste M'bami got away with goosing Al Nassr's Khaled Al-Zaylai during a Saudi Premier League match. The act was a similar but malicious version of a goal celebration that got a pair of teammates on Iranian side Persepolis banned in 2011. In the 50th minute of a match between M'bami's Ittihad and Al Nassr, Al-Zaylai was tripped from behind and fell on the ball. Ex-CameroooninternationalM'bami was eager to get his opponent away from the ball, so as the ref blew his whistle for the foul, M'bami jammed his hand up Al-Zaylai's backside as if he was trying to use the Saudi midfielder as aventriloquist'sdummy. Though Al-Zaylai clearly didn't appreciate this, he remained surprisingly calm and didn't retaliate as play continued. Asinappropriateas this was, it could prove to be an effective way to get players faking injuries up off the ground rather quick. Video via 101gg This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of ...

Maradona owes the Italian authorities roughly 40 million for unpaid taxes (with interest that reportedly adds 3,000 a day ) stemming from his time playing for Napoli over 20 years ago. This has made travel in Italy difficult for him as the taxman has been waiting on his few visits back to the country, resulting in the confiscation of two Rolex watches and a diamond earring (which was sold at auction to Palermo striker Fabrizio Miccoli ). But Napoli remains a special place for the out of work legend and he would like to return to the club as soon as Italy decides to wipe away his ginormous tax problem. From Football Italia : Returning to Napoli is my dream, even more so than for the fans. However, its difficult for me to enter Europe at the moment, as I have an issue with the tax office. I hope one day someone will say that Maradona can return to Naples without having to worry. It seems unlikely that a country with as many economic troubles as Italy would tell someone not to worry abou...

Wow. You really thought you could get away with a hard tackle on Samir Nasri, the unofficial ghost legend of Manchester City?! Well now you're in a whole new dimension of trouble, sir. Just like the hardcore dance film Step Up 3D. Just like it. How does my forehead feel, sir? You don't know it, but I'm putting a wicked mind-meld on you that will completely ruin the next eight seconds of your life. I bet you already regret everything you've ever done. Because my mental powers are making you regret it, sir. That's called blowing your mind while blowing your mind. Oh and I'm also pressing my wet hair against you. I know you're already wet because it's raining right now, but my hair is getting you even more wet. That's a lot of wetness. And there's no way you can handle it all. By the way, I've also had that feeling in the back of my throat all day that you get when you might be coming down with a cold. And I'm breathing it all under your chi...

Wow. You really thought you could get away with a hard tackle on Samir Nasri, the unofficial ghost legend of Manchester City?! Well now you're in a whole new dimension of trouble, sir. Just like the hardcore dance film Step Up 3D. Just like it. How does my forehead feel, sir? You don't know it, but I'm putting a wicked mind-meld on you that will completely ruin the next eight seconds of your life. I bet you already regret everything you've ever done. Because my mental powers are making you regret it, sir. That's called blowing your mind while blowing your mind. Oh and I'm also pressing my wet hair against you. I know you're already wet because it's raining right now, but my hair is getting you even more wet. That's a lot of wetness. And there's no way you can handle it all. By the way, I've also had that feeling in the back of my throat all day that you get when you might be coming down with a cold. And I'm breathing it all under your chi...

Rio Ferdinand may be the king of pranking footballers for televisual entertainment, but our friends in Spain have taken a leaf from his Big Book of Merks with a stunt at Radamel Falcao's expense. Each festive season, Spanish TV station La1 broadcasts a live charity telethon called ' Gala Inocente, Inocente '. In a bit on Friday night's edition -- recorded shortly after Falcao smashed five past Deportivo La Corua -- his Atletico Madrid teammate Adrian (who is in on the prank) accompanies the Colombian to take a test drive of a 450,000 Ferrari Spider [1.05 in the video]. The Atleti strikers then take the pricey sports car to a restaurant in Boadilla del Monte, a small town within Madrid [5.50]. While Falcao eats a delicious meal wearing a sports jacket he must have borrowed from an elderly teacher, the Ferrari is driven away [8.38], and the space in which he parked is made to look like a space reserved for cars that are due to be crushed and recycled. Uh-oh spaghetti-os!...

With most leagues on winter break, the holiday season can be a very slow news period in the world of football. So when a report of mega-rich Russian club Anzhi offering Barcelona 250 million to trigger Lionel Messi's automatic buyout clause with a promise of a three-year contract worth 30 million a season for the player who scored 91 goals in 2012 was published, it was quickly parroted by outlets around the world. You might think that there would be some investigation into such a ridiculous claim before spreading the word, but you'd be wrong. Also wrong: The reports that Anzhi made such an offer. From Marca : "There isn't a shred of truth in it", Anzhi market consultant German Tkachenko told Russian newspaper 'Sport-Express'. Tkachenko added the following: "Asking a question about this, let alone writing about it, showsa lack of understanding about how Anzhi's sporting model is designed and what its principles and priorities are". According t...

On the verge of his 71st birthday, Sir Alex Ferguson is bounding about on the touchline like a 20-year-old. The United managers enduring energy has confounded logic for too many years to mention. And the sight of him frantically urging United on from the sidelines in recent weeks has only served to prove there is plenty of fight left in the feisty Glaswegian. Whether it be his jubilant celebrations as Robin van Persies free kick silenced noisy neighbours City or his outbursts over the festive period, Ferguson is the very embodiment of his team. The embodiment of a club that will bear his indelible stamp long after he eventually retires. Why do United produce so many escape acts like the one witnessed against Newcastle on Boxing Day? Because of the sheer will to win that courses through their managers veins. Ferguson relishes every single goal and point as if they were his last. Its why he celebrated victory over City at the start of the month as i...

Rival fans at Premier League games have mocked one another with chants of "Sit down, shut up!" for many years, but now it appears the clubs have started issuing similar instructions to their own paying customers. Due to an "increasing number of complaints," Sunderland has suspended the season tickets of many supporters who ruin the match day experience by standing throughout the game. The club issues a warning on its website mainly directed at those who stand at the Stadium of Light's South Stand and persistent offenders have now have their seats taped up. Punishing those who stand too often by reducing their chances of sitting down, after all, makes perfect sense. The Guardian quotes Sunderland head of safety and security Paul Weir: "We certainly don't wish to spoil the enjoyment of any supporters, we want a vibrant lively matchday atmosphere just as much as the fans do, but we also have legal obligations that we must be seen to be adhering to. ...

Rival fans at Premier League games have mocked one another with chants of "Sit down, shut up!" for many years, but now it appears the clubs have started issuing similar instructions to their own paying customers. Due to an "increasing number of complaints," Sunderland has suspended the season tickets of many supporters who ruin the match day experience by standing throughout the game. The club issues a warning on its website mainly directed at those who stand at the Stadium of Light's South Stand and persistent offenders have now have their seats taped up. Punishing those who stand too often by reducing their chances of sitting down, after all, makes perfect sense. The Guardian quotes Sunderland head of safety and security Paul Weir: "We certainly don't wish to spoil the enjoyment of any supporters, we want a vibrant lively matchday atmosphere just as much as the fans do, but we also have legal obligations that we must be seen to be adhering to. ...

It's been a year of many honors for Zlatan Ibrahimovic -- a sweater from an American artist , a song from a French rapper and now a new word in his native Sweden. The Swedish Language Council has added the word "zlatanera," a verb that means "to Zlatan" or "to dominate," to the national dictionary in what is easily the greatest ever addition to human language. From the Daily Mail : The word was originally coined on Les Guignols, a popular satirical puppet show - similar to Spitting Image - from French station Canal Plus, whose characters are in awe of the PSG striker. To recognise this, the Swedes have even acknowledged the original French spelling of zlataner, simply tweaking to create zlatanera and officially defined it as from the French: to dominate on and off the field. It's worth noting that Zlatan doesn't even speak French (though he is fluent in four other languages). But before he's done with PSG, he will stomp on that language...

Tom Cleverley celebrates with Reds scorer Javier Hernandez Hotshot Javier Hernandez fired United SEVEN points clear of City at the top of the Premier League as the Reds fought back three times to beat Newcastle in a Boxing Day thriller. The Mexican known as Chicharito or Little Pea struck an added-time winner and he has a good chance of starting again against West Brom on Saturday with Wayne Rooney out for up to three weeks after suffering a knee injury in training. While United cant stop scoring, the champions who stumbled to defeat at Sunderland are struggling. In a round of fixtures that could be pivotal in the title race, second-placed City were shot down by Blues reject Adam Johnson. Citys strikers have managed only three goals between them in eight games and Mancini said: We dont score enough goals to win the game. Maybe we need to play without a striker or with just one striker. Fergie hailed his players comeback, saying: That was a championship p...

Dimitar Berbatov broke a seven-match goalless streak by scoring his sixth goal of the season for Fulham in the eighth minute of their 1-1 draw against Southampton on Boxing Day. After he did so, he pulled off his jersey to reveal the words "keep calm and pas me the ball" written on his undershirt -- an act that earned him a yellow card. It also earned him a talking to from manager Martin Jol, who was a bit more concerned about the disciplinaryrepercussionsthan how enjoyable the message was. From the AAP : "It was a bit stupid and I will have to have a word with him," Jol said. "He probably thought he would get away with it as he never gets booked. It wasn't the brightest thing to do but he wanted to make a statement. "He tells the youngsters every day to play with confidence, keep the ball and don't be afraid. You need confidence and self-belief to play your football. He wants us to play in a certain style and that is the message he's trying to...

Well hello there. I see you've caught me celebrating my latest goal by showing off the "keep calm and pass me the ball" shirt that I made. Though the shirt tells you to keep calm, it should actually make you feel like your genitalia is ablaze with arousal and the possibility of requiring medication. Consider this my Boxing Day gift to you. Ha-HA! It's been a difficult time for whatever my club is called. We lost matches to QPR and Liverpool mostly because my teammates lack my Berba-brilliance. I've tried to teach them all the moves that go into being a quality footballer like: the suggestive smirk, making eye contact with fans that seem open to new and erotic experiences, like you, and properly massaging yourself before, during and after every match. So a mere eight minutes into our latest match, I led the way yet another sumptuous goal and then did something no other footballer has ever done before when I unveiled a special message on my undershirt. ... Yes, I kn...

Robin van Persie scores Manchester United's third 5 De Gea: Gave the fans some heart-stopping moments again and not collecting shots is becoming a fatal flaw 6 Smalling: Solid enough most of the afternoon but was missing when Obertan set up Newcastles third 5 Ferdinand: Stretched almost every time the Geordies attacked and didnt have his old pace to rescue him 6 Evans: His goal was the one highlight of an afternoon that was a constant struggle 6 Evra: Another goal to add to his stats and he was just about the pick of the defence 6 Valencia: Picked up late in game when Reds got their attacking act together 6 Carrick: Distribution had been well below par but then comes up with the killer pass for winner 5 Scholes: Might have been wishing at times he was retired like he was this time last season 5 Giggs: A couple of flashes of his old touch but too much of it had the crowd tearing their hair out 6 Hernandez: The Mexican was h...

Aleks Kolarov is an intense human being. Whether he's on the pitch or delivering a simplistic recipe for brussel sprouts, anything does will include a furrowed brow and the sense that a curb stomping could happen at any moment. In this video, Kolarov puts Gordon Ramsay to shame with his sprout recipe that's light on details and heavy on intimidation. "Take off the sprout...put in the boiling water for 10-15 minutes...add some seasoning...and eat. Is delicious," Kolarov says. He then takes out his fury on the prop sprouts by kicking them around the room. Consider this a warning of some sort. Here's Kolarov's dramatic reading of "Jingle Bells" from earlier in December...

RED ROBIN: Van Persie has raised Manchester United's game in 2012 Manchester United may not have won anything in 2012, but there is a definite sense that the mighty Reds are on the rise again. After missing out in the most agonising fashion on the Premier League in May-on goal difference to City - United reacted quickly. They landed the major prize of the summer transfer window inRobin van Persie and he has proved cracking value at 24m. United are top of the table at Christmas and into theChampions League knock-out phase - where Real Madrid await - so all bodes well for a successful 2013. In the meantime, MEN Sport would like to wish you all averymerry Christmas and prosperous 2013! January 2011 ended badly with an unfathomable defeat to Steve Kean's Blackburn Rovers at Old Trafford. And 2012 started equally as miserably with a thrashing on the banks of the Tyne against Newcastle United. Then Sir Alex Ferguson pulled a...

Manchester United's Robin van Persie has impressed Manchester United are an improving side, according to fans voting on our half-time report survey, and will win the title back from rivals Manchester City. The Reds ended last season empty-handed but fans have been impressed with the reaction from United. 93 per cent of well over a thousands fans taking part in our questionnaire reckon United will win the Premier League. And over 70 per cent think the Reds are getting better - an impressive stat considering United's meek exit from the Europa League earlier in the year. There is no mystery as to why United have upped their game. New signing Robin van Persie has been United's best player since his summer arrival according to 70 per cent of respondents. A majority of people voting would give him 10 out of 10 for his performance so far. In terms of who United would like to bring in in January, midfield again is the most popular, with PSV man K...

A good year for 20-year-old Borussia Monchengladbach goalkeeper Marc-Andre ter Stegen nearly ended with sadness when his dog Bali went missing the day before Christmas eve. In 2012, Ter Stegen's club went from narrowly avoiding relegation one season to finishing fourth in the Bundesliga and qualifying for the Champions League. He also earned his first call-up to Germany's senior national team just before Euro 2012. And in his time of need, he called upon the fanbase that grew throughout the year for help. Bali, a puggle, was hit by a car and ran away in shock. When Ter Stegen and his girlfriend were unable to track Bali down, he published a note and photo of the dog on his Facebook page , which has over 63,000 "likes," asking for help. Ter Stegen asked his fans to spread the word to their friends, notify the police if they see his dog around town or to send a tip to an email address he set up especially for the search. Hundreds of fans helped look for the dog and offe...

While most Bundesliga clubs enjoy close links with their fans thanks to their ownership structures, FC Union Berlin share a particularly unique relationship with their loyal followers. In 2008, supporters of the 2. Bundesliga side donated 140,000 hours of their time to help modernize their home, the Stadion An der Alten Frsterei ("Stadium near the old Forester's house"). In 2004, they even sold their own blood to cover a 1.5m debt in order to keep their professional status. On Sunday, thousands of Eiserne fans gathered on the terraces of the stadium they helped build to sing and drink for 90 minutes. This sounds like a typicaloccurrence, except for the fact that it is currently the winter break in Germany and there are no games. Fans were gathering for the tenth annual Christmas event, a tradition that sees thousands of Union Berliners drink Glhwein (mulled wine), wave candles around, light flares (obviously) and belt out a combination of Christmas tunes and football ch...

Swansea held Man United to a 1-1 draw, but the Premier League leaders seemed far more upset about the back of Robin van Persie's head than the result. After being hauled down just outside the box, Van Persie was on the ground and looking to the ref as he appealed for a free kick. Swansea defender Ashley Williams, meanwhile, tried to clear the ball from right behind Van Persie and ended up blasting him in the back of the head from point-blank range. Van Persie stumbled to his feet and grabbed hold of Williams before grabbing at the referee in his appeal for justice. As a result, both players were booked. After the match, Sir Alex Ferguson got a bit melodramatic. From Sporting Life : "The Van Persie situation you can clearly see that he could have been killed," Ferguson said on Sky Sports News. "The FA has got to look into it regardless that he has been given a yellow card. He should be banned for a long time because that was the most dangerous thing I've seen on a...

After finally getting their first win of the season last week, QPR were brought back down into the depths of their harsh reality when Shoala Ameobi scored in the 81st minute to give Newcastle a 1-0 win in the battle of teams who didn't have a Christmas party . This latest defeat prompted QPR manager Harry Redknapp to give his players the gift of thehonesttruth. Referencing the fact that owner Tony Fernandes proved that buying success isn't as easy as too many seem to think when he threw ridiculous amounts of money at a cornucopia of past their prime footballers, Redknapp aired hisgrievances.From the BBC : "There are a lot of players at this club who earn far too much money," he said. "Far too much for their ability and what they give to the club. "I don't really want to see the owners have their pants taken down like they have in the past." [...] "A lot of agents made money out of them [the club's owners]," Redknapp said. "I fine...

Desperately searching for a last-minute gift for the HSV fan on your list? Well if you've got an extra 13,500 (plus tax) hidden under your bed, you can get them the new HSV diamond ring from Hamburg jewelry designers Quintin Nel and Ralf Hoffmann. The ring features a wide band made of white gold and the HSV badge made of blue sapphires and white and black diamonds. HSV's official website has the jewelers' contact information if you want to order one or 10.

Real Madrid manager Jose Mourinho made the surprising decision to bench goalkeeper and captain Iker Casillas for Saturday's match against Malaga, starting Antonio Adan in his place. As Real Madrid went on to lose 3-2 -- driving what was likely the final nail in their already destroyed title hopes -- Casillas showed his frustration and disappointment through his body language on the bench (while wearing ridiculous socks). After the match, Mourinho defended his decision while Casillas' teammates expressed their surprise. From the AP : "It surprised us, Iker is our captain," Madrid defender Sergio Ramos said. Mourinho justified the move to bench Casillas by saying that the inexperienced Adan was in better form. "We hadn't been playing well in different aspects of the game, among which was our defense," said Mourinho. "It was a technical decision. "My opinion is the one that matters. I analyzed the players I had available and picked the team to pla...

Cristiano Ronaldo has said he will try to ugly himself up when he plays against former club Manchester United for the first time as a member of Real Madrid in the Champions League round of 16. Ronaldo forced a move from Man United to Madrid for a world-record transfer fee in 2009 after six years at Old Trafford, but out of respect to his old side he has vowed to alter his appearance so as not to upset them. "I know that fans of other teams sometimes get upset with me for being so handsome and rich and talented and I do not want this to happen at Manchester United since they were like family to me," Ronaldo told Spanish newspaper Falso. "So I will try very hard to be less handsome when I play against them. I will get a bad perm before the matches. I will not moisturize. And I will have food stuck in my teeth for the entirety of both games." Ronaldo has also said that he will not celebrate if he scores against Man United, but went on to offer even more goodwill gestur...

Eager to continue his life in Jose Mourinho's shadow, Rafa Benitez has hinted at a return to Real Madrid as Mourinho's replacement after his interim job with Chelsea ends. Though he had little success as Mourinho's replacement at Inter and has had even less so far at Chelsea after the losing the Club World Cup to Corinthians, Benitez is playing coy on the subject of going back to where he began his career should Mourinho leave Real this summer. And Mourinho is wasting no time in getting his digs in at Benitez. From the Guardian : Asked about life afterChelsea by the Spanish radio station Onda Cero, the interim manager at Stamford Bridge said: "My future? I know things but I am not going to say anything about Real Madrid because I think I shouldn't do so." "We know there's interest from Germany and Real Madrid," the presenter said, to which Bentez replied: "I don't know." The interviewer responded with: "I do ..." to which ...

It was only a matter of time until the egomania of the PSG "project" spilled into the parking lot, and that day has now come. At Paris-Saint-Germain's Camp des Loges training ground, there are two parking lots: one in which players have individually assigned spaces, and another closer to the entrance of the facility reserved for executives and club officials. Since Zlatan Ibrahimovic will not be constrained by any man's predetermined parking arrangements and no one dares to question him, he is allowed to park in the executive lot. According to several news outlets , Javier Pastore tried to park his 160,000 Audi R8 Spyder in Zlatan's special parking zone on Wednesday, but was promptly denied entry by security staff. Apparently furious, the midfielder performed a U-turn and drove into a gate on his way back to his regular space. Translated from Sportune.fr : [French newspaper ] L'Equipe said the Argentinean, visibly upset, hit the gate of the Camp des Loges trai...

Following reports that Maradona was on the verge of becoming the Iraq national team's new manager, the Iraqi Football Association has made it clear that this will definitely not be happening. From The National : "There is no negotiation between Iraqi Football Association with Diego Maradona and it doesn't have any intention to hire him," the deputy IFA head Abdul-Khaliq Masoud told the Associated Press over the phone. The denial came a day after an Argentine football official was quoted as saying that Maradona was a leading candidate to succeed Zico, the former Brazil standout, as the coach of Iraq, who remain strong contenders to reach the2014 World Cup in Brazil. Meanwhile, Maradona's agent claims that Iraq will be choosing between his client and Sven-Goran Eriksson . Maradona has been serving as a consultant for Al Wasl since he was sacked as their manager after justa year. Eriksson is apparently serving astechnicaldirector for a Thai club. Even if this gig doe...

United's Phil Jones Phil Jones insists United are in the perfect position ahead the hectic Christmas schedule. United face four games in 10 days starting with their visit to Swansea on Sunday. Newcastle, West Brom and Wigan also lie in wait over the Christmas period and former Blackburn defender Jones believes United, who lead the Premier League by six points, are perfectly placed going into the games. Were in a fantastic position and its exactly where you want to be at this stage, said the 20-year-old. Last season was my first at United and I experienced something Ive never experienced before. You learn that its never, ever over. Its such a difficult league and its the same old cliches, but we have to concentrate on the game in front of us and keep our feet on the ground, not getting carried away. There are a lot of games coming up and I just want to be involved as much as I can be. The manager talks a lot about the Christmas perio...

Arsenal's attempt to get Theo Walcott to sign a new contract for less money than he wants has dragged on for months now with neither side relenting enough to make the other happy. So a day after resigning five of the club's young talents all at once, Arsene Wenger took a new approach by telling the press that Walcott owes him. From the Independent : "I believe what is important to keep the young players together is that at some stage I have stood up for them," Wenger said yesterday. "'I played you at 17, 18, 19 years of age and I know I took a gamble.' It is easier to take a player of 25 and put him in the team. You know what you are getting." Wenger bought a 16-year-old Walcott for a base transfer fee of 5 million in 2006 with add-ons for club and country appearances that could've brought it up to 9 million. And while he did stick with Walcott through numerous injuries and disappointing form over the years since, it's worth noting that even ...

It's been five months since Zlatan Ibrahimovic joined PSG and began his assault on Ligue 1 and yet it's taken France this long to produce a song about him that will rock the discotheques. The song, entitled "My Name is Zlatan" by Al Pach, is a tongue-in-cheek tribute to Ligue 1's leading scorer and most terrifying menace. Even without knowing the translation of the French lyrics, the refrain of "My name is Zlatan" and "Optimus Prime" are all you need to know that the song is an excellent one. And while the video does feature a ponytailed man with "Zlatan" on the back of his shirt, we never see his face throughout the clip. It should only be a matter of time before this becomes the next "Gangnam Style." Previously in the world's tributes to Zlatan: An American artist made a Zlatan Ibrahimovic sweater

Operating under the supposition that the Mayans were right and Friday December 21st will bring the end of days, Italian sports newspaper La Gazzetta dello Sport used it's ' final ' edition on Thursday to pay tribute to some of the greatest moments in sporting history. Nominated events include Abebe Bikila barefoot victory in the 1960 Olympic marathon, Zinedine Zidane's transfer to Juventus and Maradona's ridiculous goal against Belgium at the 1986 World Cup. To illustrate the feature, the front page of Italy's famous pink paper is a masterful photoshop of The Creation of Adam, a section of the Sistine Chapel ceiling painted by Michelangelo in the sixteenth century. The original Biblical creation narrative painting depicts God bringing life to Adam. In Gazetta's version, the role of God is played by Maradona, who is touching fingers with a naked-as-the-day-he-was-born Lionel Messi. God is flanked by sporting heroes including Michael Jordan, David Beckham, ...

Playing this season without a shirt sponsor, La Liga side Real Sociedad have decided to use the empty space to show their appreciation for their fans and maybe make a little more money while doing so. Each Sociedad player will wear the name of a different one of the club's 25,000 members on their shirt where the name of a sponsor would normally appear. From the AP : Sociedad calls the fan-appreciation initiative ''We carry you on our shirts.'' The names of club members are chosen at random. A group of 22 already were picked for a television commercial, and the names of another 22 were chosen to appear on the fronts of the jerseys for Thursday's Spanish league game against visiting Sevilla. Though it isn't a large chunk of money from a corporate partner, this initiative could prove to be a clever way to encourage membership sales. Last season almost half of all La Liga clubs had no shirt sponsor , prompting some to get creative in finding ways to make their t...

The Champions League round of 16 draw was held at UEFA headquarters in a floating storm cloud lair Nyon, Switzerland on Thursday and the result was either an unusual coincidence or UNDENIABLE PROOF THAT UEFA IS EVIL AND CORRUPT. The fun set of up match-ups that include Real Madrid v Manchester United, Milan v Barcelona and Celtic v Juventus were actuallyidenticalto those from the rehearsal draw done the day before and shown on Sky Sports News. This has, of course, prompted some to claim that the draw was clearly fixed and that the odds of this happening naturally are in the millions , but it actually is conceivable that this could happen without a conspiracy behind it. First off, the restrictions on the draw (from UEFA's official regulations on the Champions League ) are as follows: -Clubs from the same association cannot be drawn against each other. -The winners and runners-up from the same group (in the previous round) cannot be drawn against each other. -The group winners cann...

COMING BACK: Cristiano Ronaldo will face his former club Manchester United in the Champions League CristianoRonaldo will go head-to-head with former Old Trafford team mates after Real Madrid drew Manchester United in the Champions League knock-out stage. The star striker, who left Manchester in 2009, is likely to lead the attack against United when the teams clash in Spain in February. The draw also pits Jose Mourinho against Sir Alex Ferguson, making it the most anticipated tie of the last 16 of Europe's top club competition. Cristiano Ronaldo scored 118 goals in 292 appearances for United, and his last match for United was in the Champions League final defeat by Barcelona, after which he moved to Madrid for a world record 80million transfer fee. It was another Ronaldo - the Brazilian striker - who took the honours when the clubs last faced each other in 2003, scoring a hat-trick at Old Trafford as Real went through 6-5 on aggregate. The clubs first met i...

The annual Match Against Poverty featuring ( slimmer ) Ronaldo and friends against Zidane and friends once again featured a staggering collection of talents from past and present . In addition to the two legends the teams were named after, the likes of Zico, Juan Roman Riquelme, Roberto Carlos, Romario and Bebeto gathered in Porto Alegre, Brazil to bring back memories of greatness for older fans. But for one young mascot, simply being in the presence of Neymar was enough to bring out the tears. Ronaldo's team ended up winning 3-2, though the now 40-year-old Zidane did score with a volley off a lovely set-up from Loco Abreu. Here's video of his goal and some pictures from the event...

Sir Alex Ferguson was recently invited to help teach a class at Harvard Business School as a follow up to one professor's in-depth case study on him. In the class, Ferguson imparted his vast wisdom on the students in a manner similar to Jose Mourinho's class for 200 American coaches at UCLA last summer . These are lessons Ferguson shared... "Lesson 1: On your very first day at a new job, fight a python with your bare hands in front of your superiors and underlings. This is very important and it accomplishes two things. First, it makes your superiors too afraid to ever try and sack you because they know you have access to pythons. Second, it makes your underlings too afraid to go against your wishes because they know that if you'll fight a python, you'll fight them. "Lesson 2: Let your enemies believe myths about you and your influence. Like how officials grant you more time or penalize your competitors when it can help you. Or how certain officials are essent...

As fans and members of the press from around the world heap unending praise on Leo Messi for scoring a record 90 goals in 2012, journalists in his own country have decided he was just Argentina's third best athlete this year. From the AP : Argentine boxer Sergio Martinez was awarded the title of "Olimpia de Oro,'' given to the South American country's top athlete in voting by the Circulo de Periodistas - or association of journalists. Martinez defeated Mexican boxer Julio Cesar Chavez Jr. earlier this year in their WBC title fight. Barcelona star Messi, who has had a record-breaking year with 90 goals, didn't even finish second in the voting. That went to Sebastian Crismanich, the taekwondo fighter who won Argentina's only gold medal in the London Olympics. Messi finished third. Messi won the award in 2011, so this could have simply been a case of journalists wanting to recognize other athletes' great achievements. Butbeing more appreciated abroad than ...

Having treated the ever-depleting San Siro crowd to mediocre performances from one of the weakest squads in recent memories on numerous occasions in 2012, Milan are now treating their devoted fanbase to the spectacle of some of their brightest stars singing 80s festive anthem 'Last Christmas'. Francesco Acerbi sets the tone for a performance from a group of men who are fortunate they don't have to rely on their vocal chords to make vast amounts of money. The notable exception, however, comes from Kevin-Prince Boateng, who has honed his singing and dancing skills with years of Michael Jackson impersonations . H/T: @mmilberger

With just one win in their last nine league matches, Blackburn are languishing in fifteenth place in the Championship, some 13 points from the coveted automatic promotion spots. Rather than do the fashionable thing and cancel the Christmas party, however, the Lancashire club's 200 staff celebrated the festive season at a suite at Ewood Park. During the event, famously humorless manager Henning Berg was asked by a club executive to get up on stage and have some 'fun'. But apparently the Norwegian lost his temper when the DJ asked him to dance, wear a Christmas stocking and put on a Michael Jackson wig. The Telegraph reports: Berg, initially, joined in the festivities after the DJ invited Berg on stage where he was asked to wear a Christmas stocking before being invited to dance. However, when the [Michael] Jackson wig came out Berg is said to have flipped before ripping the stocking off and storming off the stage and out of the party. If Berg was to be embarrassed to the po...