Soccer Sorcery

With the England team in Rio to play Brazil on Sunday, FA TV met a Chelsea fan who brought his one-year-old son to see members of the squad at an appearance on Friday. So far so normal, but the unusual part is that the man named his son Leandro Lampard Martins Guedes. The man said that he doesn't support any club in Brazil and decided to name his son after Chelsea's all-time leading scorer Frank Lampard since he was born the day Chelsea knocked Barcelona out of the Champions League semifinals on their way to becoming champions of Europe last year. He also calls his backyard Stamford Bridge. And now, here's Roy Hodgson, Theo Walcott and Joe Hart pumping out some sweet samba sounds... These are the results of mixing England with Brazil.

Italy beat San Marino 4-0 because that's what happens when Italy play San Marino. Coincidentally, all four goals were scored by players whose first names start with the letter a Andrea Poli, Alberto Gilardino, Andrea Pirlo and, as a grand finale to the alliterative theme, Alberto Aquilani. Andrea Pirlo's goal was especially delightful since it was a free kick that curled perfectly into the top corner. Like nature sounds or a tub of whiskey, it's the kind of thing that can relax you at the end of a hard day.

Colombian goal machine Radamel Falcao has officially moved from Atletico Madrid to Monaco for a reported fee of 50 million that will make him the third best paid footballer in the world, earning 14 million a year for the next five years. The size of those numbers has led to the usual handwringing and complains about money ruining the game and players being soulless mercenaries who the destroy the fabric of modern society. Meanwhile, Falcao gets to live in a beautiful place, play for a club attempting to improve on their significant past glories and he doesn't have to pay taxes on his massive, massive wages. That's the good news for him. The good news for fans (and the media) is that Monaco's resurgence will almost definitely bring more interest to Ligue 1, building on the equally bemoaned spending efforts of PSG and staving off obscurity to again put France in the spotlight with Germany, England, Spain and Italy. Had Falcao gone to a big club in a bigger league firmly ent

As a man with at least 11 separate sponsors , Neymar spends a lot of his free time shilling an array of goods and services. For the past few years, the future Barcelona star has modeled for underwear peddler Lupo , but his latest commercial with the company has evoked plenty of controversy. In the clip set in a store, Neymar is happy to dance around in his underpants for female customers, but when a male customer asks to see the goods, he sneaks out of the door in a comical Looney Tunes fashion. According to Spanish sports newspaper Marca , this last scene has angered the Brazilian gay community, who say it is homophobic and sexist. Lupo have since been forced to issue a statement , in which they insist the commercial is not homophobic, adding that they wish to "ensure respect for all consumers of their products, regardless of social class, nationality, religion and sexual orientation." Neymar sneaking away from the muscular gentleman was supposed to give the ad a "playf

Atletico-MG reached the semifinals of the Copa Libertadores in a moment thanks to a skillful yet fortuitous penalty save in the third minute of injury time against Tijuana. With the aggregate score at 3-3 and Atletico-MG set to advance on away goals, the home side's slim advantage was on the brink of disappearing when Tijuana were awarded a penalty in the added time. The Galo fans and players were already the despair of bitter defeat when Tijuana's Duvier Riascos stepped up to the penalty spot. Riascos had already scored the first goal of the second leg before Ronaldinho's curling free free kick set up Rever for Atletico-MG's equalizer in the 40th minute. On the penalty, Riascos took a long run up to the ball and Mineiro keeper Victor started diving to his right before he even took the shot. But the ball went right to Victor's feet, allowing him to make a stunning kick save that put the ball out to touch. Victor's teammates rushed him with a group hug and a spot

England arrived in Brazil for their friendly at the Maracana following a drab 1-1 draw against Ireland. Perhaps to inspire rejuvenation and new life into the team, one of their first stops after landing in Rio was the famous Copacabana Beach for a warm down session. These are the postcard worthy images from that session... Theo Walcott wears sunglasses for the session because he's cool like that. If you ask him, he'll tell you. He'll just be like, "Hi, I'm Theo Walcott. I play football. And I'm super cool. Do you want to read my children's books now?" Ashley Cole, meanwhile, thinks he spotted a former Chelsea intern pointing an air gun at him in the distance, but realizes it's just a palm tree. Rooney: That Manchester United shirt doesn't look official. And as a Nike UK athlete, I can technically arrest you for wearing it. Random beach goers challenge England to a friendly match in the sand. The players awkwardly pretend they don't hear th

The recipient of Norway's biggest ever lottery win has decided to invest a portion of his prize in a talented young footballer who plays for his local club. His windfall wasn't enough to make him the next Sheikh Mansour, but it was enough to allow him to make the most of football's third-party ownership rules (or lack thereof). From Reuters : Yngvar Borgesen, who recently won more than 102m Norwegian crowns (11.5m) on the Eurojackpot lottery, put up 2.5m crowns (282,000) so that Odd Grenland could keep their promising defender Fredrik Semb Berge, according to the newspaper Verdens Gang . "I sat and thought about what I could do locally, and the answer was Odd. They have a good profile and mean a lot for the local community," Borgesen told the newspaper. For his investment, Borgesen was given a 25 percent share of Semb Berge, which means he would get the same percentage of any transfer fee if/when Odd sell the 23-year-old defender. And it could prove to be a rather

The story of 'Baby 59' the infant who was dramatically rescued from a Chinese sewer pip e has evoked sympathy, anger and shock all around the world. The news has not escaped Romanian striker Adrian Mutu, who has stated his belief that God wants him to adopt the 5lbs newborn. Which sounds perfectly rational. The Guardian translates his comments to a Romanian TV channel: "I couldn't figure out how to carry on living, how to eat my breakfast when I saw this story on TV. He's a special child. When I saw the baby I said 'I must adopt him, he has been sent to me by God.' "Just look at this poor little fellow. He made such a strong impression on me. I told my wife we have to help him, we have to do everything we can. "I never thought I would adopt a baby, I had no plan concerning that, but I just know: I have to help this one." The father-of-three, who is now playing in Ligue 1 with Ajaccio, appears to have highly virtuous intentions, but The Guar

Newell's Old Boys faced Boca Juniors in the second leg of an all-Argentine Copa Libertadores quarter-final on Wednesday evening, with the aggregate score 0-0 after both games. Fans who may have felt cheated by the lack of regular-time action were then treated to a marathon shootout that lasted for thirteen rounds. Boca legend Juan Romn Riquelme stepped up to take the first one, but put it straight into the keeper's hands, with coach Larry David Carlos Bianchi looking on in dismay. Newell's defender Marcos Cceres evened it up by completely missing the target in the fourth round, and both teams went into sudden death with the score at 3-3. By the time ten rounds had past with each side missing three times by that point Riquelme had to step up to take a second spot kick (Boca had a player sent off during the match, so only ten from each side were allowed to participate and Newell's had to leave someone out). The 34-year-old vindicated his earlier miss, but two rounds la

Belgium beat the USA 4-2 in a friendly to counterbalance whatever confidence boost the Americans took from beating Costa Rica in a blizzard and earning a 0-0 draw in Mexico in their last two World Cup qualifiers. The USA played something of an experimental starting XI without the likes of Michael Bradley (or Landon Donovan) and made plenty of mistakes that the Belgians capitalized on with ease. Here are the facts of the night: -It was only a friendly. -Belgium are good. Even without Eden Hazard, they still put out a formidable starting XI filled with a startling amount of talent (even at half speed). -Belgium have only allowed one goal in World Cup qualifying and only the Netherlands have more points out of all the teams in the UEFA group stage. So the Americans scored twice as many goals in one match against them as Croatia, Serbia, Wales, Macedonia and Scotland have in six matches. That's...something. -Romelu Lukaku, who scored 17 Premier League goals this season at the age of 20

A Romanian Liga match between Petrolul and Gaz Metan went careening off the rails, resulting in six red cards, 15 minutes of added time and an all too accurate Luis Suarez impression. With Gaz Metan up 1-0 just over an hour into the match, striker Tha'er Bawab went down in the center circle with an apparent injury. Petrolul felt he was faking to waste time, so one of their players yanked Bawab up by his leg, prompting a scuffle. Petrolul goalkeeper Mircea Bornescu made the horrible decision to get involved and the even worse decision to sink his teeth into Bawab's arm not unlike what Luis Suarez did to Branislav Ivanovic in April . Unlike the Suarez incident, Bornescu's victim reacted by punching him square in the head and the referee showed the flesh eating keeper a red card. In total, there were 11 yellow cards in the match (six for Petrolul, 5 for Gaz Metan) and six reds (two for Petrolul and four for Gaz Metan). All but one yellow card came in the second half. As a resu

Fresh off German clubs winning both the Champions League and the Women's Champions League, the German national team continued the run of Deutschland domination when Lukas Podolski scored just nine seconds into their friendly against Ecuador. The Ecuadorians kicked off, but when the ball reached their backline, Podolski was there to take it away and score like he was playing FIFA 13 on amateur difficulty. Lars Bender made it 2-0 in the fourth minute and Podolski scored again to make it 3-0 in the 17th minute. Bender then completed his brace in the 24th minute and Germany ended up winning 4-2. When Podolski's first goal was scored, the commentators said it was just six seconds in, but the German football association officially lists it as being nine seconds into the match . Either way, it's an excellent excuse to remind you that before the Mario Gomez button , there was the Lukas Podolski song...

A Stoke supporter named Carl is so against the club's probable appointment of Mark Hughes as their next manager that he attached a "HUGHES OUT!" sign to his vehicle and drove around town on Wednesday. Hughes previously lasted just one season as Fulham manager and less than a year with relegated QPR. Carl, who is preemptively outdoing Chelsea fans' treatment of unwanted interim manager Rafa Benitez, obviously feels Hughes isn't the man to replace Tony Pulis. From the BBC : He said: "It is not just me, it is the thoughts of 90% of Stoke fans. Security made me move on from the Britannia so I drove around. "I parked on motorway bridges and people were beeping their support at me and taking photos. "He is not a long-term appointment, look at his track record, but it looks as though he is going to be appointed anyway." So, 90 percent of Stoke fans don't want Hughes, but only Carl decided to drive around all day to express that sentiment. Everyone

On Saturday, Levski Sofia needed three points during their home match with bitter local rivals Slavia Sofia to lift their record 27th Bulgarian league title. Things were going swimmingly up until the 74th minute, when defender Dimitar Vezalov scored an astoundingly bad own goal (at 1.05 in the video) to bring the score level at 1-1. Elsewhere, title rivals Ludogorets Razgrad won their match and lifted the trophy for the second consecutive year. The Levski team were pretty devastated, but they didn't show it as much as one of the Slavia players, who reportedly started crying when their opponents lost the title. Slavia president Ventseslav Stefanov has revealed that the water works may have cost the player his job. Reuters reports: "One of our players was crying in the dressing room after Levski failed to win the title," Stefanov told a news conference. "No doubt, he will not be part of Slavia anymore." Stefanov strongly inferred the crybaby wasunusedsubstitute

Racing Club face Argentinean Primera Division rivals Quilmes on Friday, but fans of La Academia will not necessarily be cheering their side to victory. Some of the more radical followers of the Avellaneda side last week distributed a flyer urging players to lose the match with Quilmes, as a defeat will help bitter rivals Independiente plunge deeper into relegation trouble. "Players! Lose or rot in hell," it read. A cursory glance at the Clausura table shows that Racing and Independiente are sitting comfortably in tenth and eleventh place respectively. However, thanks to the incredibly complicated relegation system in Argentina where the teams with the worst average over three years are sent down Independiente are actually in the drop zone right now . Quilmes will have every motivation to win the match without assistance, as they sit just above Independiente in the relegation averages. Yet Racing Club ultras have made it quite clear that they wish to fold like a cheap suit

France began the group stage of the U-21 Toulon Tournament against the USA and won rather easily by a score of 4-1. The first goal of the match came from France captain Alexandre Coeff, who backheeled a free kick into the top corner with one foot planted like a flamingo before falling forward. It was an impressive bit of skill and control, but the Lens midfielder celebrated like he tapped it in on an empty net. Meanwhile, the bar for goal of the tournament has now been set pretty high.

The second leg of the Malaysian FA Cup semifinal between Pahang and JDT was abandoned to crowd trouble and as the players headed down the tunnel, a cat showed what it thought of the situation by defecating on the pitch. While the commentators laughed heartily, the feline strolled out onto the deserted pitch and did his business before attempting to bury the evidence. Animal pitch invaders are nothing new, but they do seem to be getting more brazen in their actions once out there. In seasons past, the famous Anfield Cat proved to be a delightful interruption to a match between Liverpool and Tottenham and a black cat darted through a CONCACAF Champions League match in Toronto. There was also the Blackburn chicken (s) among many, many others. But earlier this season, a crazed martin bit a player during a match in Switzerland and now we have cats defecating in the middle of Malaysian stadiums. The animals are clearly showing their dominance over our sporting events. Let's just hope

Being a professional footballer can lead to many surreal moments in life and Lazio's Senad Lulic experienced this after he scored the only goal in the Coppa Italia final against city rivals Roma. Fans are so appreciative of his efforts in the first ever Rome derby in the Coppa Italia final that they are literally stopping him in the street to kiss his foot. Says Lulic (via Football Italia ): It has been two days since the Final and I still cant believe it. This was just an incredible evening. I finally realised what the Rome Derby means when I saw everyone in tears not just the fans, but the players and kit staff too. The day after the game people would stop me in the street and kiss my right foot, the one I used to score the goal! I only got the goal, so I really dont deserve all the credit for the victory. This whole team made history. So the Pope has people wanting to kiss his ring and Senad Lulic has people kissing his shoe. Let's just hope no Roma fans see him in the stre

With the Bundesliga and Champions League winner's medals already around their necks, Bayern Munich just have the DFB Pokal final against Stuttgart left to win to complete the treble. The final match of Bayern's season comes six days after their Champions League success in London. Though some might worry about a potential lack of focus after the much deserved parties that followed their Champions League win, Bayern chairman Karl-Heinz Rummenigge isn't one of them. Around 1 a.m. the night Bayern beat Borussia Dortmund 2-1 at Wembley, Rummenigge said a few words at the club's victory party and gave everyone reassurance that they would have a chance against Stuttgart even if they're still a bit drunk. From FCBayern.de : [Assistant manager] Hermann Gerland has said: Party time! Yes, open fire. I know we have another final in six days, but I think we still have a chance even with 1.8 mg [blood alcohol level]! (Applause) I wish you all the best! Have a great party! And let

They say one good turn deserves another, so when former Manchester City boss Roberto Mancini took out a full-page ad in the Manchester Evening News thanking fans, it was soon agreed by supporters that the act would be reciprocated. City follower Adam Keyworth started the "Grazie Mancini" fund, with the aim of buying some space in Italian sports newspaper La Gazzetta Dello Sport to convey some gratitude. According to The Metro , over 700 Citizens raised more than the required 7,000 ($10,500), with any surplus funds being redirected to a local children's charity. The ad has finally appeared in today's edition of the famous pink paper. It's not a full-page, and there's no superimposed image of the Community Shield (for which all City fans are surely eternally grateful) but the gesture is sincere...

You know how after losing the Champions League final to one of your biggest rivals all you want to do is go home and eat ice cream and not have to watch a surprise 30-person flashmob hired by your club's kitmaker to serenade you with a fully choreographed, Glee-like rendition of Primal Scream's "Movin' On Up" in London Stanstead Airport? Well, now Borussia Dortmund know that too. The day after losing 2-1 to Bayern Munich on an 89th minute goal in the Champions League final, Dortmund players and staff were standing in the terminal when a man started to beatbox and others broke out in dance. The players tried to ignore the odd airport behavior until another man with a guitar emerged and began to sing the sugary tune. Unsurprisingly, the most positive reactions to the performance came from bystanders who didn't just suffer the biggest disappointment of their professional careers less than 24 hours earlier. The players, meanwhile, mostly just looked confused by th

With Jose Mourinho and Watford honorary life president Elton John in the stands at Wembley, Kevin Phillips fired Crystal Palace in the Premier League with an extra-time penalty in the Championship playoff final. This single match has been estimated to be worth anywhere from 120 million to the made-up sum of 3@Q courtillion, depending on how confused the person beating you over the head with the match's importance is, and Watford defender Marco Cassetti was the man who gift wrapped it and handed it over to Palace. After 90 scoreless minutes at Wembley, Cassetti attempted an ill-advised challenge from behind on Wilfred Zaha and only swept away the Man United bound winger's feet instead of the ball. Cassetti was booked and Palace were awarded a penalty, which Phillips stepped up to the spot to take. He put his shot past Watford keeper Manuel Almunia and that proved to be difference. It's a painful way to go out for Watford, who staged an unbelievable comeback against Leiceste

With little riding on their final Ligue 1 game of the season at Lorient on Sunday evening, Paris Saint-Germain rested a number of regulars, including goalkeeper Salvatore Sirigu. Backup shot-stopper Alphonse Arola started in between the sticks, but made way for Ronan Le Crom in the second half. Despite signing for the Parisians in January 2012, Le Crom was making his first-team debut yet he last just 21 minutes after bringing down Lorient's Lamine Gassama in the 81st minute. The challenge wasn't particularly bad (hence it doesn't qualify as a Dirty Tackle of the Day), but the Ligue 1 journeyman was the last man and was issued a red card. The 38-year-old could barely contain the disappointment of wrecking his first chance in sixteen months and burst into tears on the sidelines. David Beckham who wasn't included in the squad after officially retiring was among those who consoled the keeper, perhaps reminding him that the team were 3-0 up in a game that meant absolutely

America won their record-equalling 11th Liga MX Clausura title in unbelievable fashion, beating Cruz Azul on penalties and making manager Miguel Herrera go absolutely bonkers. America were behind 1-0 after the first leg and suffered an even bigger setback when midfielder Jesus Antonio Molina was sent off in just the 14th minute of the second leg. Cruz Azul then quickly added another goal in the 20th minute and with the two-goal lead on aggregate and a man advantage, it seemed they would stroll to their first title since 1997. Until the 89th minute, that belief held true. But then Aquivaldo Mosquera scored for America to push the aggregate score to 2-1. Then, in the third and final minute of injury time, America goalkeeper Moises Munoz went forward for a corner kick. Though Munoz had three opponents and one teammate around him, the corner dropped right on his head and he nodded it towards the near post. Cruz Azul defender Alejandro Castro deflected it into the net to give America a stun

Less than 48 hours after being unveiled as the newest addition to the LA Galaxy , Robbie Rogers became the first the first active openly gay male athlete to compete in an American professional team sport. And with the support of the fans, his teammates and even his opponents, Rogers couldn't help but smile as he returned to the game he loves. Before the Galaxy kicked off against Seattle on Sunday night, Rogers was asked what he hoped to contribute (aside from history) so soon after signing. "I'm hoping that I can come on and it's 4-0 and I can just enjoy myself," he said with a laugh. As it turned out, that was exactly what happened. The Galaxy jumped out to a 4-0 lead in the first half with a hat trick from Robbie Keane (who scored twice from the penalty spot). Rogers eventually came on in the 77th minute and he had a great big grin on his face as he did so. The 24,811 people in attendance gave Rogers a standing ovation. The final whistle blew 13 minutes later, b

Neymar announced Saturday night that he will sign a five-year deal with Barcelona on Monday so he could play one last match for Santos on Sunday. The 21-year-old has become Brazil's most celebrated and treasured footballer, winning the Copa Libertadores in 2011 and just about every individual award the country has to offer in his four years with the first team. But on Sunday, it came to an end against Flamengo and Neymar was clearly moved. He wept during the national anthem before game, which ended in a 0-0 draw. From Reuters : "It was an honour to have played for this marvelous team Santos, I am so happy I did," he told reporters. "Every child has a dream, either to be a player, a dentist or a reporter. My dream was to become a professional athlete and I have achieved that. Today Barcelona is fulfilling my dream of going to a totally beautiful team," he told Globo TV. Now he moves on to a new home and a bigger challenge. It will be an environment that will pro

This year's Coppa Italia marked the first time the tournament has ended with a Rome derby and thus the first time both participants played the final in their home stadium (since the Stadio Olimpico is always the host site). Given the fact that was not just a Rome derby, but one with a trophy on the line, local authorities anticipated an especially combustable atmosphere. Judging by the frightening array of crude weapons confiscated by police before the match, it seems the historic final between Roma and Lazio could've been ruined before it even began. Of course, any Rome derby is bound to include a variety of violence of weaponry. This time, however, police confiscated garden tools, kitchen knives and hatchets all taped to sticks for maximum stabbing reach from ultras under the Ponte della Musica . Psy, who performed his played-out hit "Gangnam Style" before the match to a chorus of boos, should be thankful those items were confiscated so they couldn't be thrown a

In their third attempt in four years, Bayern Munich finally managed to win a Champions League final, thanks to Arjen Robben's 89th minute winner (and no thanks to the dozen chances he missed). This DT writer was lucky enough to return to his home city to witness the first ever all-Bundesliga European Cup Final, and all the accoutrements that surrounded it. Photos were taken (like the one above ), videos were shot, non-ironic Lederhosen were witnessed en masse, and a jolly good time was had. Read on to follow DT's adventure... At a press event a few days before the match, Michael Ballack successfully feigned interest in a very clever new smart ball that is full of sensors that relay data to an iPhone app. The former Bayern star hit a few sluggers for the watching media, as did the man who was on the winning side when Ballack's Bayer Leverkusen lost the 2002 Champions League Final, Zinedine Zidane. The French legend struck the dead ball at a top speed of 61mph. DT later mana

Neymar has declared his intention to sign a five-year deal with Barcelona on Monday through his Instagram account , bringing an end to a transfer saga that feels like it has gone on since sometime around 1993. Barcelona confirmed Neymar's announcement on their official website in a report titled " Neymar da Silva: 'O Rei' of the 21st century ." O Rei is, of course, Pele's nickname. So calling the 21-year-old O Rei of the 21st century furthers the frequent comparisons between the two and adds an extra scoop of ridiculousness to the already impossible expectations on Neymar. The report also includes a section titled "Pele's blessing" which highlights the basic points of comparison and admiration between the two Brazilians. Neymar will play his final match for Santos on Sunday, which he plans to use as a farewell party for himself. From the AP : ''I want to thank Santos fans for these nine incredible years,'' Neymar said. ''M

As soon as Bayern Munich lifted the Champions League trophy after beating Borussia Dortmund 2-1 , striker Mario Mandzukic, who scored his side's first goal of the night, lost his winner's medal. After going up the steps at Wembley collect their medals and trophy, Mandzukic couldn't help but jubilantly bounce around. But as soon as Bastian Schweinsteiger lifted the cup, Mandzukic's medal popped off its necklace. The striker was too happy to notice it was gone, but Franck Ribery saw it drop down into the stands below them. Ribery alerted Mandzukic to the missing medal and Mandzukic responded with a look of surprise and confusion. Here's the video... While a fan in the lower level of the stadiumreceivedeither an unexpectedsouveniror a nasty bump on the head, Mandzukic was able to get a replacement and resumed partying.

Ever since the late, great Paul the Octopus went a perfect eight for eight in his 2010 World Cup predictions, animal oracles have been all the rage. This year's Champions League final has been no different, with everything from otters to elephants trying their psychic powers for Bayern Munich's match against Borussia Dortmund. But now a new power in the novelty predictions racket has shown itself: the Royal Prognosticator. The day before the big game, FA president Prince William welcomed football officials from across Europe to UEFA's congress in London . In his opening remarks, he tossed in his prediction: "My money is on Bayern Munich 2-0." He ended up being quite close. He got the winning side right (Bayern), as well as the number of goals they scored (2), but his magical prince powers apparently could not foresee Borussia Dortmund scoring in the 68th minute from the penalty spot. Still, Paul never messed around with scorelines. Only winners. Anyway, now there

After losing the Champions League final in 2010 and again, most painfully, last year on penalties, Bayern Munich has finally won the Champions League for the first time since 2001, beating Borussia Dortmund 2-1. One of the men most tortured by and responsible for their recent failures, Arjen Robben, proved to be the man of the match, setting up Bayern's first goal and scoring their second in the 89th minute. When the final whistle blew, he couldn't hold back the tears. Robben was the target of scorn after he missed a penalty in extra time of the 2012 Champions League final against Chelsea that could've prevented the match from going to a shootout, where Bastian Schweinsteiger's miss gave Chelsea the title. In the first half against fellow German side Dortmund, it looked like Robben was set to be the scapegoat once again. He missed a couple of golden chances, even blasting one off Dortmund keeper Roman Weidenfeller's face. In the second half, Robben's persistenc

Will Smith and his son Jaden are in London to promote their new film (and hold a mini Fresh Prince reunion ), and their trip happens to coincide with the city hosting this year's Champions League final between Bayern Munich and Borussia Dortmund. So before the match, the Smiths stopped by the UEFA Champions Festival on the International Quarter to attempt a few penalty kicks against former Manchester United goalkeeper Edwin van der Sar. After a big stretch, Will steps up to the spot first. He takes a smooth run up, a big kick and then weakly scuffs the ball to the top corner of the miniature penalty box. The crowd laughs and Smith tells Van der Sar get rid of the offending ball. As the voice in the video says, Will Smith's attempt is much, much worse than Diana Ross' at the 1994 World Cup . Jaden Smith followed his father and put in a much more respectable shot directly at Van der Sar's feet. Sadly, DJ Jazzy Jeff and Alfonso Ribeiro (who was also there) did not take pen

Santos have accepted two offers for Neymar , leaving the final decision on where Brazil's most celebrated young talent will go up to the player. The clubs that made the offers have not been revealed, but one is thought to be Barcelona. The other, however, might surprise. The following is a transcript of Neymar hearing the offers from Barcelona president Sandro Rosell and Wigan Athletic chairman Dave Whelan. Neymar: I was told that you both made acceptable offers to Santos, so now I must decide which club will help me make this big step in my career. This will be a very difficult decision, so please tell me everything I need to know. Rosell: Of course. Although, it shouldn't take much to convince you to join Barcelona. Whelan: I'm not telling you my bank details or where I buy my shoes, so you can forget that. Neymar: Oh. I wouldn't ask either of those things. First, how many trophies did your clubs win this season? Rosell: Well, just the one the league title. But

Santos have accepted two offers for Neymar , leaving the final decision on where Brazil's most celebrated young talent will go up to the player. The clubs that made the offers have not been revealed, but one is thought to be Barcelona. The other, however, might surprise. The following is a transcript of Neymar hearing the offers from Barcelona president Sandro Rosell and Wigan Athletic chairman Dave Whelan. Neymar: I was told that you both made acceptable offers to Santos, so now I must decide which club will help me make this big step in my career. This will be a very difficult decision, so please tell me everything I need to know. Rosell: Of course. Although, it shouldn't take much to convince you to join Barcelona. Whelan: I'm not telling you my bank details or where I buy my shoes, so you can forget that. Neymar: Oh. I wouldn't ask either of those things. First, how many trophies did your clubs win this season? Rosell: Well, just the one the league title. But

Three months after coming out as gay and stepping away from the game , midfielder Robbie Rogers has signed with the LA Galaxy according to multiple reports. MLS rights to Rogers, who previously played in the league for Columbus Crew from 2007 to 2011, were owned by the Chicago Fire, but Rogers didn't want to play for them. So after casually training with the Galaxy over the last several weeks, a trade was finally worked out, sending midfielder Mike Magee to Chicago in exchange for Rogers , who is now the first openly gay player in MLS. Rogers came out in February with a moving post on his personal blog, saying "Secrets can cause so much internal damage. People love to preach about honesty, how honesty is so plain and simple. Try explaining to your loved ones after 25 years you are gay." At the end of March, he told the Guardian that it was "impossible" to be gay in football . "I might be strong enough but I don't know if that's really what I want. I

With two German clubs in the Champions League final, their London hosts are probably a bit more apathetic about the event than they would otherwise be. So to combat that lack of enthusiasm and win over the locals, Borussia Dortmund have organized a rather impressive friendship campaign in the lead-up to the match against more well known Bayern Munich. The ad above is just one of many parts of their "From Dortmund with Love" campaign in London, urging citizens to enjoy the match while also positioning BVB as the underdog fairytale club that neutrals should get behind. But just how much campaigning are they doing in the city? From the London Evening Standard : A black and yellow double-decker bus will tour central London with an onboard team handing out gifts on both tomorrow and Saturday. The bus will stop off at a number of destinations to celebrate the final with fans. There will also be men in yellow and black busbies standing guard over some of London's iconic tourist

Completing the German domination of the Champions Leagues this season, Wolfsburg beat Lyon 1-0 in the women's final at Stamford Bridge. This was a shocking result for two reasons: 1) Lyon had won the last two Champions League finals and over their last 120 matches, they had not lost in regular time . And 2) This was Wolfsburg's first time in the competition. Not a bad debut. Any karma Lyon built up from offering to replay a French Cup match marred by a referee's mistake last week apparently wore off pretty quick. A handball in the second half gave Wolfsburg the deciding penalty and with the win, they completed the treble despite never winning a trophy before this season. Martina Muller, who has been with Wolfsburg since they were in the 2. Bundesliga in 2006, scored the goal that made history as Germany will now be the first nation to ever win both the men's and women's Champions Leagues in the same season. Clearly the lesson here is that if you plan on having a fo

The first ever all-German Champions League final is upon us and that means it's time for the third annuel DT Champions League final viewing companion. Wembley will host the match and though excitement in London has been dampened by the fact that all the English clubs in contention were eliminated long ago, the visiting Germans bring all the passion and leather pants necessary for a memorable game. Of course, since Borussia Dortmund and Bayern Munich both play in the same domestic league, this is far from the first time they've met this season. Dominant Bayern won the Bundesliga with astounding ease, finishing 25 points ahead of second-place Dortmund in the table. But head to head, they've been much closer, with each of their league matches ending 1-1 including their most recent earlier this month, which included Dortmund manager Jurgen Klopp and Bayern sporting director Matthias Sammer going nose to nose (or, more accurately, chin to nose). Bayern did, however, beat Dortm