Soccer Sorcery

Samir Nasri was named man of the match in Man City's 4-0 win against Newcastle on Saturday. It was only the third Premier League start of 2013 for a player who has been one of the many wobbly floats in City's parade of disappointment this season and after the match, manager Roberto Mancini expressed his frustration with him. From the Guardian : Asked his thoughts on seeing Nasri play like so, Mancini said: "I would like to give him a punch. Because a player like him should play like today always. Always. Every game. Maybe one game sometimes he can play [badly] but with his quality ... I don't know what was different on Saturday. I can't understand [why] sometimes a player with his quality doesn't play like today [in] every game," the manager said. Of course, expressing his desire to punch his own players is nothing new for Mancini. He previously said that if Mario Balotelli was his teammate, he would've punched him in the head every day (and he eventu...

With a 20-point lead in the Bundesliga, Bayern Munich added yet another exclamation point to their domestic campaign with a 9-2 win against Hamburg. Yes, nine. Including four from Claudio Pizarro. Now, Hamburg are hardly a patsy of a side -- they're currently in the top half of the table (even though their goal difference took a bit of a hit). So what happened at the Allianz Arena? Here are a series of pictures that tell the story... Pre-match: Mario Mandzukic, Anatoliy Tymoschuk and Franck Ribery predict how many goals their team will score in the first half (five). Xherdan Shaqiri scores the match's first goal in the fifth minute. He celebrates like a young scientist who just decided to create a human centipede on his day off. Hamburg's Heung-Min Son and goalkeeper Rene Adler realize this is going horribly wrong and they are powerless to stop it when Pizarro makes it 3-0 in the 30th minute. Their screams are silent. Arjen Robben scores Bayern's fourth goal of the firs...

Southampton today and the FA Cup quarterfinal replay against Manchester United on Monday. I have told the press that the players are prepared tactically , but psychologically it is impossible. I have also blamed my inability to endear myself to the fans on a teenager in the Czech Republic . So the preparations are complete. Southampton have scored. Thanks, Facebook. Starting John Terry proves to be a genius decision. Who knew? Only I did. Oh f*** off, Rickie Lambert . Southampton substituting Artur Boruc for Kelvin Davis. It seems my idea to drop an ear of corn down the back of his shirt in the tunnel at halftime so he would wrestle himself to the point of exhaustion worked to perfection. To do: Order Real Madrid business cards, pick up new edition of Modern Goatee Magazine, invent a replacement for socks. Victor Moses is not playing well at all. Better leave him in for the whole match. Yossi Benayoun never does anything when I put him on late in matches. So just as when red hits seven...

Juventus beat Inter 2-1 to further pad their lead atop the Serie A table, but just before full time, Esteban Cambiasso made sure they didn't escape the match unscathed. The Inter midfielder planted a lunging challenge on Sebastian Giovinco's ankle and was lucky he didn't break through it like a rock through wet paper. Instead of checking on Giovinco, Cambiasso immediately got up and held up his hands to the officials as if to say, "I think that was a shared hallucination we all had and it didn't actually happen." But it did and he was sent off. While Giovinco received treatment near the touchline, the final whistle was blown and Juventus celebrated the win around him. Presumably because he's so tiny that they didn't know he was still there and in pain. Cambiasso eventually did apologize to Giovinco, though. Said Inter manager Andrea Stramaccioni after the match (via Football Italia ): I dont talk about incidents and do not want to comment on the refere...

We've seen robots decapitate themselves in their attempts to play football , so now they are attempting to take control of the game in a different way. By mowing the pitch with minimal help from humans. That sound you just heard is all the Groundskeeper Willies of the world gasping in horror. Prior t0 the Bundesliga match between Augsburg and Hannover 96, the pitch was mowed by automatic mowing machines created by Augsburg's shirt sponsor Al-Ko. Though it seems this was more of a marketing stunt for the Robolinho 3000 (product name in England: Gareth Barry) than a way for the fiscally responsible Bundesliga to save money on grounds crews, it's likely just a matter of time before German efficiency evolves the game into a competition between teams of automatic mowing machines that cut the grass and play football at the same time. This is exactly what Sepp Blatter and FIFA were afraid of goal-line technology leading to. Here's a video on how the Robolinho works...

Unio Barbarense currently find themselves in the relegation zone of the Campeonato Paulista first phase, and have apparently resorted to using underhand tactics to gain an advantage. The Sao Paolo side defeated tenth-place rivals Linense 3-2 on the road on Thursday, but in the second half they fielded two players wearing the same shirt number in a ruse intended to confuse their opponents. Midfielder Britto wore the number seven shirt in the first half of the game, but emerged in the second 45 wearing number five, the same as defender Rafael Silva. After 26 minutes of the half, the referee noticed the naughty number game and issued a yellow card along with an order to change the shirt. Reuters reports: "They were on the attack and we used all the tricks we could to keep them at bay," Britto, who finished the match wearing number 17, told the Sportv cable channel after Barbarense's 3-2 win. "It was a strategy and it worked." Britto seems to be confusing the conce...

In February, Robbie Rogers revealed his sexuality on his personal blog , choosing to simultaneously "step away" from the game. The former Columbus Crew and Leeds Utd winger has now given his first set of interviews, including a piece published in The Guardian on Friday. In it, the 25-year-old explains the motivations behind his decision, his frustrations and the conflicting emotions he felt from a young age: "I started feeling very different and it was a case of, 'All right, I'm good at football and I get attention from girls. Why don't I want that? What's wrong with me?' I realised I was gay when I was 14 or 15. I was like, 'I want to play football. But there are no gay footballers. What am I going to do?' The former USMNT star felt that coming out was not compatible was aprofessionalfootball career: "In football it's obviously impossible to come out because no-one has done it. No one. It's crazy and sad. I thought: 'Why d...

Paris Saint-Germain are aiming to reach the semi-finals of the Champions League for the second time in their history, with just the small matter of two matches against La Liga giants Barcelona standing in their way. The Parisian side have plenty to feel encouraged by: not only will they be able to field former Barca striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic after having his two-match ban halved , but if the French media is to be believed, they are also getting tactical advice from Real Madrid manager Jose Mourinho. According to information acquired by French sports newspaper L'quipe , the Special One has sent PSG edited videos from his last two victories with Los Blancos over Barcelona, complete with detailed analysis on how to beat them. A translation from their scoop reads: In this compilation, the Portuguese coach, who is friends with Carlo Ancelotti, Leonardo and Nasser al-Khelaifi, describe in detail the cracks in Bara's game. He knows whereof he speaks because he has lost only one of ...

As previously reported on DT , Thursday marks Francesco Totti's 20th anniversary as a Serie A player. To mark the occasion, Italian newspaper La Gazzetta dello Sport has published a lengthy interview with the 36-year-old Roma legend, in which he reveals he would like to reach 300 goals (he is currently on 226), he wants to play until he is 40, his strongest opponent was (Brazilian) Ronaldo and that he would like to work with Jose Mourinho. At one point in the interview, Totti is asked whether he has a stronger memory of the emotion of his first Serie A goal or his first kiss. He says he preferred the goal, because the kiss happened when he was 10, which is "the age you do not understand anything." The World Cup winner then immediately surrendered some fairly personal information: "I was 12 when I made love for the first time. In Tropea, with a Roman girl who was 17 years old." As the inspirational captain of Roma at age 36, clearly Totti has always done things ...

Dwight Yorke and Andy (sorry, Andrew) Cole formed a deadly strike partnership at Manchester Utd in the late 90s and early 2000s, perhaps reaching the height of their powers in the 1998-99 treble-winning season, in which they scored a combined 53 goals. Their success was put down to an intrinsic understanding of one another's movement, described by some as 'telepathic'. To put this to the test, one of Utd's betting partners pitted Cole and Yorke against their present day triumvirate of forwards Wayne Rooney, Danny Welbeck and Chicharito in a blindfold test. It's a pretty amusing video, the highlight of which is probably Rooney's attempts to put away a cross from Danny Welbeck (who isn't wearing a blindfold! cheating!). After a bundled header and an attempt at recreating the bicycle kick goal voted the best in Premiership history , Rooney connects with a rifle of a volley that most mortals couldn't score with both eyes and multiple attempts. Of course, t...

The U.S. Soccer Federation has announced a special "victory parade" in Washington, D.C. to celebrate the 0-0 draw in a World Cup qualifier against Mexico at the Estadio Azteca. It was only the second time the U.S. earned a point in World Cup qualifiers at the Azteca (the first time coming in 1997) and follows the country's first ever win in Mexico last year. U.S. fans both in the stadium and back home reacted to the result as if they won a minor trophy and now the USSF plans to do the same. "This is a historic event for the U.S. national team and the fact that it comes in our federation's centennial year only makes it more special," USSF president Sunil Gulati told reporters. "So, like Spain does after winning every real trophy, we will hold a victory parade through our nation's capital to mark this momentous occasion. There will be ballon animals for the kids and the fan who had the most mystery liquids thrown on them at the Azteca will be awarded ...

AS Roma legend Francesco Totti celebrates his 20th year in Serie A on Thursday. To put that in perspective, fellow club legend and Rome native Daniele De Rossi was nine years old when Totti made his top-flight debut on March 28th 1993 at Brescia. Stephan El Shaarawy, meanwhile, was exactly five months old. As you can see above , the man widely considered Roma's greatest player of all time may not have mastered English in his 36 years (he should probably work on the way he asks for a "large Coke" or he may get something he's not expecting), but he has commanded the respect of his peers and rivals alike. To commemorate 20 years of loyal service with the Giallorossi , Juventus goalkeeper and former Italy national team colleague Gigi Buffon has written Totti a heartfelt congratulatory letter. Football Italia has the translation: Dear Francesco, you have made Italian football history. Twenty years in Serie A, what an achievement I still have the image of your first goal i...

Two Romanian journalists were had their accreditation rejected for their country's World Cup qualifier against the Netherlands at Amsterdam Arena on Tuesday because their paper had previously compared Netherlands manager Louis van Gaal to Adolf Hitler. Prior to the Dutch side's visit to Romania last October, ProSport published an article about the notoriously tough Van Gaal under the headline "Van Hitler." The Dutch federation (KNVB) remembered this and when two ProSport journalists applied for accreditation for Tuesday's match in Amsterdam, the KNVB denied them. From Marca : "These journalists are not welcome at the Amsterdam Arena. We have rejected their accreditation for the match in Group D of the European zone of World Cup 2014 qualifying against Romania on Tuesday," said a spokesman for the KNVB. Van Gaal and the Netherlands made Romania as a whole pay for this insult by beating them 4-0 (after beating them 4-1 last October). Of course, Van Gaal h...

Warning: NSFW language Team USA were in high spirits after forcing fierce rivals Mexico to their third draw of the Hex World Cup Qualification stage at their own fabled Azteca stadium. Around 500 American fans travelled to the match in Mexico City, where they were penned into an upper tier by riot police. This arrangement kept American fans safe from confrontation with locals, but made them sitting ducks for a shower of beer and various missiles as the game progressed and concluded. The plucky folks in stars and stripes kept up defiant chants of "U-S-A" as the booze and cups rained down, with one Wonder Woman impersonator (whom you can see in the clip above ) even offering a classy one-fingered salute . Perhaps flipping the bird was merely a misunderstood way of reminding the home fans of the proud eagle that adorns the Great Seal? At least one fan was injured by the Mexican missiles, suggesting it wasn't just beer that was thrown... As USA fans left the Azteca they con...

Ever since Qatar were awarded the 2022 World Cup in a process that definitely involved absolutely no foul play , the Arab state's quest to hold the planet's biggest football tournament has been wrought with controversy. Among the chief complaints are the utter lack of football heritage in the Sharia Law-governed nation, and the 120-degree heat that will greet fans and players at stadiums that have not yet been built, using air cooling technologies that have not yet been invented. Yet the 2022 World Cup will go ahead in Qatar perhaps in the winter and the infrastructure is already under development. German newspaper Bild , however, has revealed some alarming facts about the working conditions of the migrant workers who building the World Cup dream in the Gulf state: The foreign workers (mostly from Nepal and the Philippines) get a pittance of less than one euro per hour (78 cents), live in tiny rooms, some at 50 degrees [120 degrees Fahrenheit] without a working air condition...

Around five weeks ago, " hilarious " bookmaker Paddy Power generated themselves some publicity with the #2ndjobsforsubs Twitter hashtag campaign, teaming it with a billboard aimed at misfiring striker Fernando Torres . "Fernando, we've got an onion bag you can actually find. It's in the burger van mate. Get your hair net on," read the advertisement erected on the side of a building facing one of the entrances to Stamford Bridge. According to The Metro , Chelsea took legal action against the betting firm, arguing that the billboard impinged on the Spaniard's image rights. The local council agreed and it was torn down. But, proving that you just can't keep a bad joke down, PP have parked a truck-mounted video screen displaying the same advertisement right under the spot where the previous version used to live, leaving the council or the club powerless to take action. After all, schadenfruede on wheels is above the law. And once again, Dirty Tackle h...

It's time for another round of bemoaning or excusing the actions of Luis Suarez! During Chile's 2-0 win against Uruguay in World Cup qualifying, Suarez and Chile's Gonzalo Jara did not appreciate each other's company. When the two players took their positions for a corner kick in the 34th minute, shoving and grabbing ensued. Suarez then took things a step further by jabbing Jara in the face with his fist. Both players were booked during the match, but not for this incident. As with the time Suarez stepped on a Zenit player's back or anything else he's done, how awful or understandable you view this episode will likely depend on whatever pre-existing opinions of Suarez you might have. Are you outraged by the hit or outraged by the outrage against Suarez's actions? Confirmation bias ahoy!

A combination of good work and good fortune gave the U.S. their first point in World Cup qualifying at Mexico's Estadio Azteca since 1997 with a 0-0 draw on Wednesday night. With that result, U.S. manager Jurgen Klinsmann, who was questioned by unnamed members of his own squad last week , remains undefeated at the Azteca after getting the U.S. their first ever win in Mexico last year . A strong performance from the U.S.'s inexperienced backline and goalkeeper Brad Guzan and Mexico's weak start to the final stage of World Cup qualifying both played major parts in how the final score was reached. But the home side also had reason to blame the referee when a Maurice Edu challenge from behind on Javier Aquino somehow did not result in a second-half penalty ( video here ). Still, Mexico squandered 15 corner kicks to the U.S.'s two and Chicharito failed to capitalize on several good scoring chances. After beating Costa Rica last week, getting a point at the Azteca was somethi...

Ukraine earned their second win of 2014 World Cup Qualification with a 2-1 victory over Moldova in snowy Odessa on Tuesday, putting them even on points in Group H with fellow Euro 2012 hosts Poland. The Ukrainians were seconds away from finishing the game with 11 men on the field and their dignity intact when Shakhtar Donetsk's Taras Stepanenko delivered a brutal flying kick to the head of a Moldovan defender in the 93rd minute. That kind of challenge is exactly what straight red cards are made for, leaving the referee absolutely no choice but to send the defensive midfielder to the showers a little early. This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events. Video H/T: 101GG

Bernard Lacombe started his career as a striker with Olympique Lyon, and masterminded several Champions League campaigns as manager of the club after retiring. The 1984 European Championship winner is now an adviser to club president Jean-Michel Aulas, and is credited with bringing in several key signings in recent seasons. Lacombe may be popular with the Lyon faithful, but he is now unpopular with around 50 percent of the world's population, having made an extremely sexist comment during a show on French talk radio station RMC on Monday. Fielding a call from a female listenercriticizingformer OL star Karim Benzema, Reuters quote Lacombe's dismissive response: "I do not discuss football with women, that's how I see it. They should get back to cooking." Lacombe's quotes are surprising, particularly as Lyon's ladies' team have won the league title for the past six years and the Women's Champions League in the past two seasons. OL Ladies manager Patr...

With no pictures or video of the Indian snakes, this will have to suffice European football may be overrun with bloodythirsty pine martens making their way onto the field, but animal pitch invasions seem to be a lot more poisonous in India. On Sunday, the I-League match between Mohun Bagan and Pailan Arrows at the Kalyani Stadium near Kolkata finished 3-2 to Mohun. With summer temperatures wavering around 100 degrees, however, a dozen poisonous snakes were spotted making their way onto the field shortly after the match finished. The Indian Express reports: None of the players or the ball boys were bitten but the snakes were spotted near the dressing rooms and on the field of play after full-time. Officials of the Kalyani Municipality ensured that the snakes were removed from the stadium. The players were apparently unaware of the serpent merchants of death slithering yards from their game, but India national team midfielder Nabi said he would be "afraid of playing there again....

Ahead of the crucial World Cup Qualifier between the Republic of Ireland and Austria at Dublin's Aviva Stadium on Tuesday, two visiting Austrian fans were mugged. On the way to visiting the famous Guinness Storehouse, they had their wallets and matchday tickets stolen by thieves. RTE Sport explains what happened next: [...] as word of the incident spread on Twitter and Facebook, Irish fans were quick to offer help to the beleaguered Austrians. Irish fans on the You Boys In Green forums called for a whip around to replace the money that was stolen and the FAI has since stepped in and replaced both tickets. The money raised by the kindhearted fans is understood to have eclipsed the amount stolen, with the surplus being donated to charity. The Ireland Fans Embassy on Facebook also confirm that some Green Army fans took the time to meet up with the Austrians for a few pints as they recovered from the incident. Football fans often express an irrational hatred towards their rivals sim...

Pacifist , French accent impressionist , Zlatan enrager and occasional Marseille midfielder Joey Barton is no stranger to speaking his mind on Twitter . The 30-year-old took to the microblogging site on Monday night following Brazil's friendly with Russia to rekindle his dislike for Neymar. Thanks to some outstanding performances for Santos in Brazil, the 21-year-old has accrued a worldwide following, eleven separate sponsors and the affection of a large proportion of Europe's major clubs . Yet it has become app! arent th at the spiky-haired forward has been a little underwhelming while representing his country, particularly in Europe. He was disappointing at the Olympic Games, was nothing to write home about during the Seleo's recent friendly with England at Wembley, and he showed some laughably bad control during a below-par display on Monday. As a result, the self-appointed voice of all football opinion in the western world has labelled the young Brazilian the ...

For many years, pitch invaders have been embarrassing slow and uncoordinated stewards with their self-indulgent antics. But now the stewards have developed a weapon that can destroy pitch invaders with terrifying ease and extreme prejudice. He is Super Steward. Super Steward's talents were put to use during a friendly between Brazil and Russian at Stamford Bridge. With Russia up 1-0 late in the match, a pitch invader ran through the center circle and towards one of the goals, but Super Steward chased him down and stopped him with some kind of WWE finishing move. Though Russia's players were likely intimidated by Super Steward's demonstration of speed andruthlessness, Fabio Capello blamed the pitch invader for the late equalizer scored by Brazilian striker Fred. From Reuters : "My only disappointment is that after a supporter came on the pitch my players lost their concengtration and against Brazil you cannot lose your concentration." Earlier another supporter had ...

As a rule of thumb, if a manager is good enough to lead a team to a cup final, it is generally neither necessary nor beneficial to relieve him of his duties right before said cup final. Southend Utd have thrown the Book of Logic and Sound Reasoning straight out of the window, parting company with manager Paul Sturrock on Sunday. The club, who are six points off the pace of the League Two playoffs (but have won just one of their last six league matches) cite poor form for the decision. Yet the Scottish coach has also lead The Shrimpers to the Johnstone's Paint Trophy Final at Wembley on April 7th. Phil Brown a man who once labelled Andrea Pirlo "homophobic" for not playing outside Italy was given the manager's job on Monday, and the orange-hued former Hull coach will take charge of Friday's league visit to Bradford. Brown will not, however, be on the sideline for the Wembley final against Crewe the following week, as Sturrock is expected to return to finish t...

For a professional striker, there's nothing worse than the indignity of missing an open goal from a few yards out. Unless, of course, the ball happens to bounce back off the post and hit you in the face before rolling out for a goal kick. The football equivalent of falling off your bike in front of a bus stop crowded with attractive women and then having your pants yanked down is exactly what happened to Zestafoni forward Boti Demel, whose side was facing Merani Martviloi in Georgia's Umaglesi Liga. (That's Georgia the country, not the state, y'all.) Fortunately for the Ivorian, his side ended up 2-1 victors, but he'll almost certainly wake up in a cold sweat hearing the hyena-like cackling of those unsympatheticspectators over the next few nights.

Mario Balotelli has been a magnet for controversies both real and fictional in his short career, but there is only one that he regrets. And it has nothing to do with fireworks setting his bathroom on fire, wearing a Milan shirt while he was with Inter or losing a fight with a bib. From Football Italia : Balotelli has caused controversy many times in his career and was asked if he had any big regrets. In my life I would only avoid doing one thing again: I wouldnt have thrown the Inter jersey to the ground. In the first leg of Inter's Champions League semifinal against Barcelona in 2010, then 19-year-old Balotelli came on as a substitue and drew the ire of Inter fans for playing halfheartedly and not getting back to defend. Inter still won 3-1 on their way to knocking Barca out and winning the Champions League, but after the match, an angry Balotelli threw his shirt on the ground as he walked off the pitch. This upset the fans even more and prompted teammate Marco Materazzi to attack...

According to FIFA.com, Clarence Seedorf had played more than 800 matches over more than 20 years without ever getting a red card in his career . But that impressive streak came to an end just before the final whistle in Botafogo's 2-1 win against Madureira when he was booked twice for not leaving the pitch in a fashion the referee found suitable upon being substituted. From Reuters : On being substituted at the end, Seedorf, who scored the winning goal in the 68th minute, walked towards the Botafogo bench but was ordered by the referee to go off on the other side of the pitch to save time, Seedorf protested, was booked, turned his back on the referee and was given another yellow card. "I didn't understand anything," he told touchline reporters. In the video above, you can see the time conscious referee point to the nearest touchline and pull out a yellow card when Seedorf doesn't follow his command. Seedorf then debates with him and eventually decides he's goi...

Rangers squandered a chance to clinch the Scottish Third Division title already by playing out a poor 0-0 draw against Stirling Albion at Ibrox. Rangers have made easy work of the lowest division of the Scottish Football League since being liquidated and placed there at the start of the season. They've maintaining a 21-point lead atop the table with only two losses all season, but they've taken just four points from their last three matches and their supporters are growing concerned that complacency is setting in. Unhappy with the frequency of frivolous tweets from the players in recent weeks, the fans at Ibrox on Saturday held up banners that read "Less time tweet, more time training." Which, really, is a good message for all of us.

David Beckham is touring China as the country's first global football ambassador. His duties include promotion of the Chinese Super League, which has recently suffered from several major match-fixing scandals, promotion of the game within China and just being David Beckham. With that last task in mind, he's been combining the two things he does best as he criss-crosses China: wearing suits and playing football. And on the fourth day of his trip, that unnatural mix finally caught up to him. While demonstrating his free kick technique to Wuhan Zall Football Club, Beckham's ill-suited footwear landed him on his backside. He was able to laugh it off, but these will probably end up being the lasting images of the trip. So remember: If you're going to be a football ambassador for China, always remember to pack a pair of boots with the wingtips.

After losing their first match in the final round of World Cup qualifying under hostile conditions in Honduras, t he US beat Costa Rica 1-0 in the midst of a Colorado snow storm that proved advantageous. Inch after inch of wet powder was dumped onto the pitch throughout the match and early in the second half, with the US already leading, it seemed as if officials were ready to abandon it. Players from both sides appeared to plead with the referee to let the match continue, which it did. But once all the sloppy fun was had and Costa Rica lost, they realized they had a gripe. Costa Rica manager Jorge Luis Pinto vented to the press after the game (via Reuters ): "It was an embarrassment to football, disrespectful to the game," an animated Pinto told reporters. The game was played at the 19,374 capacity Dicks Sporting Goods Park, home of Major League Soccer's Colorado Rapids, nestled at the foot of the Rockie Mountains. Pinto said the "legal conditions" for playing...

After losing their first match of the final round of World Cup qualifying to Honduras, the US need a win against Costa Rica to improve morale and banish grumblings of discontent within the team. That task was complicated a bit by the weather conditions in Colorado though, as a snowstorm hit before the match that covered the pitch in white powder. The storm prompted former US national teamers Alexi Lalas and Kasey Keller to don ridiculous hats as they worked ESPN's pre-game show from behind a snow covered desk at Dick's Sporting Goods Park. Bob Ley, however, was clearly far more hardcore. According to Yahoo!'s own Graham Watson, "All the regular seats are covered in snow and water" and the wind is swirling, which requires CONCACAF to break out the yellow balls. Despite all this, the players are apparently making the most of the conditions and US winger Brek Shea decided to use the snowy pitch to send a special message... Brek Shea used his foot to write this in the...

Sion player-manager Gennaro Gattuso brought his current side to visit his former club, Milan, for a friendly at the San Siro on Friday. It was a special homecoming for Gattuso as he got to visit with all his former teammates for the first time since he left at the end of last season. And he made the most of the opportunity by playfully slapping Philippe Mexes in the head. Clearly Gattuso was overcome with emotion. From Football Italia : How can you not get emotional at returning here? the former Rossoneri hero told Milan Channel. It was a great day and wonderful sensations. I really enjoy this type of work, as the way I spent my life in football terms it was a natural transition from player to player-manager. It feels like years ago looking at how Milan are now, but instead it was only a few months. This is a quality side that has real prospects. Before the match (which Milan won 6-0), Gattuso greeted his old friends with a more conventional round of hugs (and a kick up the backside f...

Upon arriving in San Pedro Sula for their World Cup qualifier against Honduras, Mexico football federation president Justino Compean did not appreciate the antagonistic reception his delegation received at the airport. So, he gave a group of Honduras fans the finger through the window of a van. Except Compean claims that's not why he twice extended his middle finger in the direction of the people yelling at his car. Compean's explanation (via ESPN ): "I have an injured finger. It (the gesture) was misinterpreted," Compean said. You don't even need to watch the video to realize what a silly excuse that is. If you're just going to claim that you were waving your finger owie at the Honduran fans, you might as well be an adult and own up to your true intent. Like the US, who lost to Honduras in their first match of this final stage of qualifying, Mexico also got off to a less than ideal start with a 0-0 draw against Jamaica at the Azteca. So tensions were already ...

In the 90th minute of their World Cup Qualifier with New Caledonia on Friday, New Zealand needed a goal to ensure three points and progress to the next stage. With the score at 1-1, Perth Glory's alliterative striker Shane Smeltz was put through with a good chance to win the tie, but it was scuppered when a New Caledonia defender put in a high studs-up challenge to his face. All play is supposed to cease immediately when a head injury occurs, but Smeltz bled out in disbelief as the referee jogged away awarding a goal kick, rather than offering a red card, penalty and the introduction of medical attention. Presumably, all referees worldwide are so terrified of incurring Sir Alex Ferguson's wrath that they have a secret pact to ignore all dangerously high kicks until one benefits Manchester Utd. New Zealand did end up defeating the tiny collection of islands (population: 250,000) with a 94th-minute winner from Ipswich defender Tommy Smith . As the winners of the Oceania Third Rou...

After failing to make it out of the easiest group at Euro 2012 under Dick Advocaat, Russia now lead their World Cup qualifying group under Fabio Capello with four wins in as many matches and no goals allowed. Now they prepare to take on Northern Ireland and they will once again be without 31-year-old Andrei Arshavin, who captained the Euro 2012 squad. Northern Ireland manager Michael O'Neill says he knows why. From Fox Sports : "I think the biggest difference is that Capello's Russia work harder than Advocaat's Russia," said O'Neill. "I saw them in the Euros under a different manager and the players who have come in since then give Russia a higher work ethic than they have when Arshavin plays. "Arshavin was arguably one of the players of the tournament back in Euro 2008. There's no doubting his quality, but he's in a difficult position in his career at the minute and the national team is probably stronger without him." A DT investigation...

You might not expect much from a friendly the day before a full slate of World Cup qualifiers, but the two countries with the most World Cup wins are giving the competitive matches a lot to live up to. Playing in Geneva, Switzerland as part of Brazil's "We're Hosting The World Cup And Exempt From Qualifying" world tour, the South Americans opened up a 2-0 lead in the first half. Italy provided an impressive fight back early in the second half though, scoring twice in two minutes with Mario Balotelli providing a lovely equalizer from distance before the hour mark. He then celebrated in his usual low-key way to perfectly cap off the goal. If you weren't looking forward to this summer's Confederations Cup before, you should now.

Claims of UEFA fixing the Champions League draw have been around for years, but the low-tech manner in which they are conducted (picking balls out of a pot) has made those claims easier to dismiss. After all, it isn't a secret computer spitting out the match-ups, it's just an above average former player awkwardly picking balls and taking far too long to fumble them open. But as Ahmet Cakar, Champions League referee turned "Turkey's most controversial football pundit ," demonstrates, there might be a way to still fix this style of draw. First, the reason for this demonstration: Since the Champions League quarterfinal draw, there has been outrage in Turkey that Galatasaray were drawn against Real Madrid. Many Galatasaray supporters felt UEFA was using their club as a sacrifice to ensure that one of the world's most popular clubs would reach the final rounds of the tournament. But how could they get Steve McManaman to pick such a match-up out of the bowl on purpo...

With longtime captain Carlos Bocanegra not in the team for the US's upcoming World Cup qualifiers and Tim Howard injured, Clint Dempsey has been given the armband against Costa Rica and Mexico. "Clint is one of our most experienced players and ready to assume a more vocal leadership role," said manager Jurgen Klinsmann upon announcing the decision. And to demonstrate his new leadership and more aggressive style, Dempsey has enacted a new set of rules to help galvanize the squad as they navigate the final stage of the World Cup qualification process. They are as follows... 1) Shut your mouth. 2) Every member of the team must develop a unique facial expression that can both mock and intimidate the opposition at the same time. (Menacing scrunch face is already taken.) 3) All beefs within the team will be settled with rap battles. 4) Do work or go lurk. 5) Burrito Bar Tuesdays will be happening. 6) The captain decides what music is played in the dressing room. If you request...

The world was treated to one of the worst tattoo unveilings in the history of the beautiful game on Saturday, when Reading striker Noel Hunt showed off this incongruous mess on his back. Isn't it glorious? Leo Messi also joined in on the questionable artwork fun this week by paying tribute to his four-month-old son on his famous left leg. The Argentinean was granted time off from training on Tuesday which was Father's Day in Spain to have 'Thiago' etched on his calf, flanked by his little handprints. Or they might be Ewok handprints, it's a little hard to tell. The Messi family appear to have a rich tradition of having their relatives tattooed on each other. The Barcelona superstar already a portrait of his mother inked on his left shoulder, while his brother and "number one fan" has one of little Leo wearing the Albiceleste colors .