DT Exclusive: Chelseas intense negotiations with Villas-Boas

Andre Villas-Boas resigned from Porto on Tuesday and is on the verge of replacing Carlo Ancelotti as Chelsea manager. The former Jose Mourinho assistant just has the small matter of his 15 million Porto buyout clause and personal terms with Chelsea to settle. The following is a transcript of those negotiations with Chelsea chief executive Ron Gourlay.

Villas-Boas: I'm going to get right to the point. If I'm going to coach Chelsea, I need assurances that I won't be sacked as quickly as the others. I need time to build.

Gourlay: Of course, Andre! I have spoken to Mr. Abramovich about this and I can completely guarantee that you will be given four whole months to win the Champions League before getting sacked.

Villas-Boas: But it's June. Four months from now we'll barely be into the new season.

Gourlay: Exactly! That's a long time, isn't it?

Villas-Boas: No. It's not. I need a firm commitment here.

Gourlay: Andre, baby, we're putting a lot of money into you. Do you think we'd pay your 15 million buyout if we thought you were disposable?

Villas-Boas: Yes.

Gourlay: Fair point. My rebuttal: Roman Abramovich will let you wear his captain's hat aboard his fourth favorite yacht for exactly one hour every year. He will also marry you to whoever you want twice a year.

Villas-Boas: I don't like hats and I'm already married. Anyway, I also want assurances that I will have total control in the transfer market and that the owner won't overpay for his personal favorites on a whim.

Gourlay: Again, nothing to worry about! That will only happen once, maybe twice a year. Three times, tops. So do we have a deal?

Villas-Boas: No part of this conversation has been reassuring to me. Still, I can't resist. It's a deal! Now I just have to fax Porto my resignation...

Gourlay: Oh, don't worry about that. Our special courier will handle it. Putin! Deliver the message to Porto.

Putin: Right away.

Photos: Reuters, AP