Soccer Sorcery

Real Madrid have once against set up their preseason training base at UCLA and while they're in America, they've decided to try playing baseball. For some reason, they all decided to pitch underhand, which was apparently just fine for Xabi Alonso, who teed off on one from Higuain. Jose Callejon ran the wrong way after getting a hit and Iker Casillas held the bat like had no idea what it was used for while posing for a photo with a couple of visiting professional baseball players. Thankfully, Pepe wasn't given a chance to take any swings because someone would've ended up being decapitated and it probably would've been Mesut Ozil. Previously: Chelsea players prepare for U.S. tour by trying American sports

Almost immediately after announcing a seven-year shirt sponsorship deal with Chevrolet worth an estimated 200 millionthe Glazer family pushed ahead with their much maligned plan to unleash a Manchester United IPO on the New York Stock Exchange. From the first rumor of the move, fans and media have been united in questioning it. And now financial experts agree that it appears to be a blatant attempt to dupe investors into giving the club's unpopular owners/debt masters their money for very little (if anything) in return. In the video above, Andy Green of the well-respected andersred blog talks to Sky News about how Alex Ferguson's blind loyalty to the Glazers is being financially rewarded, that the Glazers chose to list the IPO on the NYSE because their shares would hold far more value than those of all other investors ("They'll sell 10 percent of the club and they will keep 98 percent of the votes.") and that the valuation of club is very much inflated. Guardian

We're only a few days into the London Olympics and the Games have already served as an all-consuming distraction for a large portion of the planet. One group that has not been distracted from their primary focus, even while attending Olympic football matches, is that of Blackburn fans ( and their chickens ) who really, really want the club's manager, Steve Kean, and ownership group, Venky's, as far away from their club as humanly possible. So even though it's the offseason and Sunday's Spain v Honduras match at St James' Park in Newcastle had nothing to do with Blackburn, there was still a "Kean Out, Venky's out" banner hanging right next to the pitch. As if being sued by Sam Allarydce wasn't bad enough, now Kean is being protested at international sporting events that he has no part of. In fact, the apparent randomness of this banner's presence might have been what kept confused Spain into losing to Honduras .

Valencia's Ever Banega has terrible luck when it comes to cars. Back in February, he suffered a broken ankle that kept him out for six months after it rolled backwards while he was filling up at a gas station because he forgot to set the handbrake. Now, his super expensive new Ferrari has been charred to a crisp because of a mysterious "short circuit." From Reuters : The vehicle that caught fire on Monday was a brand new Ferrari worth around 250,000 euros, the spokesman added, and pictures carried in local media showed only the front part of the car remained unscathed with the rest, including the passenger cabin, burnt to a black crisp. The blaze seemed to have been caused by some sort of short circuit, the spokesman said. Ever Banega really should just start taking the bus.

Manchester United target Lucas Moura says he will decide his future after the Olympics. Reds boss Sir Alex Ferguson has confirmed his interest in the 19-year-old Brazilian, who is valued at 30m by his club Sao Paulo. "At the moment I'm a So Paulo player and I'm focused on the Olympics," Moura told ESPN. "I don't want to worry about this. If I am meant to leave now, it will happen. Otherwise, I'll remain calm because I'm still very young. "After the Olympics are over, I'll decide. If I stay at Sao Paulo, I'll be happy because it's the club where I started my career." Glazers must show that United can compete with City Should United go all out for Moura? Have your say. Click here to sign up to our new free Fantasy Football game where 100,000 is up for grabs - you'll be up and running in less than five minutes. Tweet

Gareth Bale, who recently drew the misguided ire of Sepp Blatter for playing on Spurs' preseason U.S. tour and not for Team GB in the Olympics after making a quicker than expected return from a back injury, was the victim of a cynical challenge from Liverpool's Charlie Adam during a friendly in Baltimore. This isn't the first time Bale has been hurt by a Charlie Adam tackle, either. So now Bale has labeled him "a bit of a coward" and said he wouldn't accept an apology, even though one hasn't been offered. From The Mirror : "From what I've seen of him on pitch, I think he's a bit of a coward," said the Wales star insisted afterwards. [...] "There are pictures on the internet of what he did before when he snapped all my ankle ligaments," said Bale. "I was out for three months that time and one player told me he went out to do the same thing to me again. "Seriously, I haven't ever done anything to him. He's obvio

As first announced back in February , Argentine winery Bodega Valentin Bianchi has launched a range of Leo Messi wines in collaboration with the Leo Messi Foundation, with profits going to a variety of children's charities. The wines carry labels with either a shirt or football design and will reportedly be available in Europe and Asia, as well as Argentina. The slogan is "Leo: creative essence." But I think "Leo: Lego juice" would've been much better. Cristiano Ronaldo's brother (no, not Barry ), meanwhile, recently opened a nightclub in Portugal called Seven Vilamoura . The name of the club is an obvious nod to Cristiano's shirt number (and maybe the club's silent partner), so the Real Madrid goalbot paid a visit the other day. Here he is posing outside the club... And here's a look inside... No word yet on whether Seven Vilamoura will serve Leo wines.

With the No. 18 on his back (I guess he needs more time to learn how to ask for the No. 9 in French ), Zlatan Ibrahimovic needed just three minutes to score his first goal in a PSG shirt at the start of his side's friendly against DC United. After scoring, Zlatan was asked if PSG can be as good as clubs like his former clubs Milan and Barcelona, to which he replied, "I think we are better than Milan for sure." And that's what Silvio Berlusconi gets for selling him and Thiago Silva against their wishes. Well, that and a severe kicking, but Zlatan will wait until Berlusconi is standing next to Pep Guardiola to do that.

It's been well established that Napoli owner Aurelio De Laurentiis will say and do whatever he wants, so it should come as no surprise that the eccentric producer of such films as Christmas in South Africa , Christmas in Miami and, of course, Christmas in India , is now threatening to pull his club out of the Supercoppa Italiana match in Beijing. The August 11 match between the Coppa Italia winners and Serie A champions Juventus has already been the subject of debate for its timing and location, but the agreements that have previously been made areapparentlyno longer pleasing to De Laurentiis. From Football Italia : According to theCorrieredelloSport newspaper, DeLaurentiishas changed his mind again and is prepared to boycott the tournament. "Can you explain to me what is the point of going to China a few days before the start of the season?" DeLaurentiiswas quoted as saying, although it is not an interview. "No, Napoli will not go to Beijing. It's a crazy journ

Manchester United goalkeeper David de Gea David de Gea has been tipped to prove why Sir Alex Ferguson was prepared to make him the most expensive goalkeeper in Manchester Uniteds history. The Spaniard endured a difficult start at Old Trafford after his 18.9m move from Atletico Madrid last summer. But he recovered to produce some outstanding displays in the second half of the campaign to establish himself as Uniteds No1. Goalkeeping coach Eric Steele admits the 21-year-old did not enjoy the ideal debut season but believes he will be more prepared this time around. David will be slightly disappointed, said Steele. We probably got what we expected. There was no way we expected him to come in and play as he had been playing. It was a totally different change for him in many, many ways. Hence the reason why we said before that, to replace Edwin van der Sar, we needed two and that was the main reason why Anders Lindegaard was on board. Anders had the injury just af

Like the truly dominant creature that he is, Zlatan Ibrahimovic does not waste time in exerting his superiority over whatever herd he finds himself leading. So even though he has only been training with his new PSG teammates for a few days, he has already decided to instill the fear of Zlatan in them by inflicting pain upon several of them in one training session. About 35 seconds in the video above, Zlatan puts Nene on the ground with a blow to the ribs. Zlatan then smoothed things over by shaking hands with him as Nene was still wincing in pain. Not satisfied that this got his point across to the whole team, Zlatan then caught Jeremy Menez -- who referred to Zlatan as a "monster" the day before (presumably in a positive sense) in the eye. Zlatan was quick to pull him off the ground and Menez then sat off to the side with an ice cube against his eye. We've already seen Zlatan employ this tactic at Milan and within the Swedish national team with great success. And thou

Chelsea are finishing up their U.S. tour in Miami, where they will play Milan on Saturday. A day before the match, Colombian legend Carlos Valderrama turned up at a signing event and finally brought cosmic synergy to the universe by introducing his hair to David Luiz's hair. It was the kind of moment that dreams are made of -- a sentiment David Luiz expressed on Twitter when he said, "My dream has come true! My idol Valderrama!" Here's David's photo just to prove you weren't hallucinating the one above... The Olympic Opening Ceremony in London cannot top this.

Manchester United's Rafael celebrates his goal for Brazil Manchester United defender Rafael was on target as Brazil beat Egypt 3-2 in the Olympics. The tournament favourites stormed to a 3-0 lead thanks to Rafael, Leandro Damiao and Neymar. Mohamed Aboutrikaand Mohamed Salah gave Egypt hope but Brazil held on. Will Rafael be a first-team starter for United this season? Have your say. Click here to sign up to our new free Fantasy Football game where 100,000 is up for grabs - you'll be up and running in less than five minutes. Tweet

Premier League champions Manchester City are in the midst of their preseason tour of China, where they are launching a sudden buying spree after remembering that they have an inordinate amount of money that they haven't been spending. With July drawing to a close, Man City remain the only Premier League club who have not brought in a single new player since the end of last season . A fact that has finally been realized by the league's richest club. "This year will not be easy," said manager Roberto Mancini. "It will be harder than last year and for this reason, we need to improve our team. But I am not the man in charge of this." When reached for comment, the man who is in control of the club's signings, football administration officer Brian Marwood, replied, "You would think that you would get tired of driving in circles around Old Trafford with the Premier League trophy tied to the roof and Queen's 'Fat Bottomed Girls' blaring through

To mark the release of Man City's new kit, Umbro conducted brief interviews with several of the players and the one with Mario Balotelli was, of course, the best. He starts by being thoroughly unenthusiastic about the new kit before going on to explain why he wears the No. 45. He then shares his admiration for Drake (who he had dinner with last season ) and then with the intensity of a thousand suns (or one Mario Balotelli), he says that if he wasn't a footballer, he would want to be a UFC fighter. "Probably I would want to do UFC...yeah. I really love it," he says with the utmost seriousness. But Mario as a mixed martial arts fighter? I can see it... Meanwhile, Samir Nasri gave the most pitiful interview in which he reveals that he has his housekeeper cook for him because he's always alone and incapable of feeding himself.

The LA Galaxy played a friendly against Spurs on Tuesday night, giving Robbie Keane a chance to play against his old club. And Keane decided to reintroduce himself by playing an odd game of "grab the contents of Jake Livermore's shorts." Keane was apparently trying to distract Livermore from the ball (well, the other ball) or maybe he was just preparing for a post-football career as a proctologist. Whatever the case may be, he probably won't face the 74 lashes that two Iranian players were threatened with when they celebrated a goal in similar fashion last year. Here is the worst video anyone has recorded in the year 2012... This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events.

Tom Cleverley in action for Team GB TomCleverley has dared to dream about a golden birthday present next month at Buckingham Palace. Uniteds Olympian will be 23 the day after the London Games Mens football final at Wembley. If Team Great Britain can secure the gold medal it will mean a trip to the Queens residence on his birthday where Stuart Pearces squad would be presented to Her Majesty. On the eve of GBs opener against Senegal tomorrow night at Cleverleys club HQ Old Trafford, the midfielder admits he cannot help dropping off at night fantasising about a visit to Buck House with the ultimate Olympic prize around his neck. I cannot help dream about it, Tom told M.E.N. Sport. I know there is a long way to go yet starting with the Senegal match but being on the podium in that number one position is my ambition. Personally the achievement would be extra special with that possible visit to Buckingham Palace on my birthday. Ive had a lot of great experiences

As incidents of players getting in trouble for comments made on Twitter continue to occur, the Premier League has decided to issue a set of guidelines that "set out clear direction to players on the use of social media." It took several months to compile the guidelines and included the input of The FA and PFA. The Premier League's official website explains them like so: Advice is offered on the endorsement of brands, goods and services, while confidential information about team selection, injuries or tactics is prohibited from being disclosed on social media. Also outlined is The FA regulatory role in respect of disciplinary action that can be taken against players who make improper comments on social media websites. Though the specifics of the guidelines haven't been made publicly available (yet), DT has obtained a copy of what could be the new Premier League document in full. Here it is: Official Premier League Guidelines on Social Media Use Don't say anything.

In June, the Philadelphia Union sacked their first manager, Peter Nowak, just six months after he signed a three-year contract extension with the club. Now Nowak is suing the club in federal court for the remaining three and a half years of unpaid wages left on his contract and severance pay, which he feels he's owed. Just before he was fired, Nowak seemed to be systematicallydisassemblingthe team he helped build and led to the playoffs in just their second year of existence by trading away his captain (Danny Califf), top scorer (Sebastien Le Toux) and top draft pick (Danny Mwanga), among others. But now its been revealed that many more reasons behind the move than just a few puzzling trades and poor results. Philly.com's Jonathan Tannenwald got his hands on the original letter that lists all of the reasons Nowak was terminated and it includes everything from hazing to actively seeking employment in Europe and badmouthing the Union to endangering his players, being insubordina

With many players back in training now (including David Villa), Barcelona decided to prepare for another season of uninterrupted ball control with something of a circus show. Players broke up into groups and formed circles by holding hands -- links they tried not to break as they juggled the ball between themselves. In the primary group shown in the video above, Leo Messi, Javier Mascherano, Ibrahim Afellay, Dani Alves and Adriano make it look easier than it is. Don't be surprised if Barcelona actually do this during matches this season.

Spurs midfielder Luka Modric decided to skip the club's first training sessions of the preseason and missed the team flight to the U.S. in an attempt to force them to sell him to Real Madrid. Well, that didn't work and instead all Modric got was a large fine and the derision of chairman Daniel Levy and new manager Andre Villas-Boas. So now Modric has decided to return and, according to The Sun, apologize for his behavior . The following is a transcript of his first conversation with Levy after making his comeback. Modric: Heyyyyyyy boss. How, uh, how are you? Really super good, I hope. Levy: Luka. I'm surprised to see you here. Modric: What, uh, what do you mean? Isn't this the day we were supposed to report? Oh wait- oh wait, did I get my days mixed up again? Oh man. Talk about a brain fart! Levy: Seriousy, Luka? Modric: Would you believe I was abducted by aliens and they only just returned me here after a terrifying journey to another galaxy? Levy: I would. Mod

THREE KINGS: Wayne Rooney, Yaya Toure and Michael Essien With Manchester United and Chelsea already splashing the cash and Manchester City certain to add to their Premier League title-winning squad, it looks like being a three-horse race to be crowned champions this season. Sir Alex Ferguson and Roberto Mancini are locked in a battle for Arsenals Robin van Persie, while United are also closing in on the signing of Brazilian sensation Lucas Moura. European champions Chelsea have secured Eden Hazard and will be looking to replace the departed Didier Drogba. Here M.E.N. Sport analyses the big three and their chances of success in the Premier League and Champions League. Goalkeepers City: Joe Hart established himself as one of the finest keepers in Europe last season as City boasted the best defensive record in the Premier League on the way to the title. But if Roberto Mancini has any concerns about the last line of his defence it is t

Shortly after word spread of a deal that would send Tim Cahill to the New York Red Bulls for about 1 million, Everton confirmed the transfer with a statement on their official website . It reads: Everton have agreed with Major League Soccer (MLS) thatTim Cahill can be transferred to the New York Red Bulls. Tim, 32, will move to the Red Bulls for a nominal fee, subject to agreeing personal terms and passing a medical. He will travel to the US in the next few days. He has played 278 times for Everton since his move from Millwall in 2004, scoring 68 goals. An Australian international with 55 caps, Tim has scored 24 times for his country. With that official confirmation, it seemed to be a done deal and the Australian was the latest high-profile addition to New York's squad. But then the Red Bulls put out an official statement of their own that just made things a bit weird. From the Red Bulls' official website : "We are aware of Everton's statement regarding midfielder Tim

Upset by the sale of Thiago Silva and Zlatan Ibrahimovic to PSG , a group of Milan supporters expressed the widely held disappointment of their fellow fans by leaving a small funeral arrangement outside the club's via Turati offices. A funeral card, candles and flowers were set up near the building's front door in the scene made to symbolize the faith some fans have left in the club after selling two of their best players. Adding a more consequential element to the protests,a class action lawsuit has also been filed against Milan on the grounds of "false advertising." Meanwhile, the club decided to offer refunds to season ticket holders upset/disheartened by the loss of Ibra and Silva. From Football Italia : "The decision to reimburse season ticket holders has nothing to do with any legal action," insisted director Leandro Cantamessa. "It is an issue of style and a response to those who are unhappy. After all, a season ticket holder for a football club

Newcastle defender Davide Santon showed that he is already tackling stewards at a midseason level during his side's preseason friendly against Fenerbahce over the weekend. The wet pitch in Austria turned his attempt at a challenge on the ball near the touchline turned into a slide right into the back of a steward with a boot up the rear. The steward landed on top of Santon, but he was very quick to get back up and didn't so much as look back at the player. Clearly this man does not mess around when on the job. This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events. Video via 101gg

When Zlatan Ibrahimovic joined PSG last week, he wasn't automatically given the No. 9 shirt because it currently belongs to Guillaume Hoarau. The Frenchman has been with PSG since 2008 and has scored 52 goals in 145 appearances, so he's staked a rightful claim to the number and isn't prepared to just hand it over to Zlatan theconquerer without making him do a little work for it. Hoarau told L'Equipe TV (via France Football ): "If he asks me in French, yes (I will give him the number 9), it is the condition," he replied, smiling. Of course, Zlatan is a man of many languages, so learning how to ask for his shirt number shouldn't be difficult for him. But this is still a dangerous game for Hoarau to be playing. When Zlatan starts kicking his PSG teammates, Hoarau will likely be first in line.

Robin van Persie Sir Alex Ferguson is set to be disappointed in his pursuit of Robin van Persie with Arsenal playing hardball over the Dutchmans fee and demanding double what Manchester United have offered. And that would pave the way for van Persie to join City, who have far more room for manoeuvre to haggle over the fee. The Reds boss has made a passionate defence of Old Traffords owners, the Glazers, and his own stringent transfer strategy. Fergie admits his valuation on top target Eden Hazard was blown out of the water by Chelseas 34m bid. The United manager refused to get involved in a bidding war and moved on to other targets. He insists United buy in the right way and points to value for money in the 20m joint investment on 23-year-old Shinji Kagawa and 18-year-old Nick Powell. It suggests heavily that while the Reds interest in van Persie is serious, they wont be shelling out the 30m Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger wants for his captain.

When Carlos Tevez took his unapproved mid-seasonsabbaticalfrom Man City last season, he spent his time playing golf. He even won a pro-am tournament with fellow Argentine and 2008 PGA Tour Rookie of the Year Andres Romero. And after spending all that quality time together, the two seem to have formed a friendship because for the final round of the 2012 British Open, Romero let Tevez serve as his caddy. So how did Romero do with Tevez on his bag? Not so great. With four double bogeys and just one birdie on the day, Romero shot an 82 for what was easily his worst round of the week to finish last among the 83 players to make the cut. With Tevez just spectating on Saturday, he shot a 77 after being 1-under par through the first two days. After the round, Tevez admitted to not being very helpful (via The Sun ): "It was good to enjoy the last day with him. This was the dream of everybody who plays golf. It was my first Major!" "It was difficult to carry the bag because it wei

We've all made jokes about Bebe and his ill-advised, sight-unseen transfer from the Portuguese third division to Manchester United for 7.4 million in 2010. Though it seemed his season-long loan to Besiktas only made things worse as he was plagued by injury and disciplinary issues, Bebe has returned to Man United and he is ready to make the club his springboard to superstardom. Or something. Man United trailed Ajax Cape Town 1-0 in the second preseason friendly of their South African tour until Bebe presumably said something like, "Let me show you how it's done," and scored a skillful goal to save his club (yes, HIS club) a minor embarrassment. Is this the start of the Bebe era at Man United? I think we all know the answer...

Robin van Persie Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson must decide whether to up the ante in a bid to snare last season's Premier League top scorer Robin van Persie. Ferguson was forced to admit last night that the Reds had made a bid for Van Persie, claiming Arsenal had made the approach public. United have not stated the sum offered. However, it is said to have fallen well short of Arsene Wenger's valuation, which is thought to be approaching 30million. It is doubtful other likely suitors, Manchester City and Juventus, would go anywhere near that amount either, even though, like United, they are believed to have made an initial move. Ferguson is the one who has spoken, though. And, while he refused to shed too much light on the situation, it is clear in order to push through a deal he needs to increase his offer. "Obviously Arsenal have given out the fact that we've made a bid for him," Ferguson told MUTV. "We try

Before leaving Seattle for the next stop on their U.S. preseason tour (New York), several Chelsea players met with Zach Galifianakis and noted Chelsea fan Will Ferrell at their hotel for a photo op with the Champions League trophy and FA Cup. After Chelsea masseuse Billy McCulloch froze up upon meeting Ferrell and said he didn't know what his favorite film was after being urged on by Frank Lampard, Ferrell attempted to autograph the Champions League trophy. Zach Galifianakis, meanwhile, was so pleased when Petr Cech gave him his own personalized Chelsea away shirt that he tried to return the favor by handing Cech a glass off a nearby table. He also later expressed his disappointment that no one got them shorts to go with the new shirts. Ferrell and Galifianakis did give the Chelsea players a St. Louis Rams helmet that they got on a previous promotional stop for their new movie together. Galifianakis even signed it himself, while Ferrell suggested Petr Cech wear it instead of his us

Check out the new Manchester United away kitfor the 2012/13 season. The new strip, part of the Gingham Collection, is on sale today. Opinion was divided over the new red home strip when that was unveiled in May . What do you make of the away strip? Have your say. Tweet

Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson Sir Alex Ferguson admits he is finally ready to slow down after a recent health scare but the Manchester United manager is still determined to silence noisy neighbours Manchester City. The 70-year-old, who was rushed to hospital after suffering a nosebleed in May, proved the fires still burn within laying down the gauntlet to Roberto Mancini and resuming old rivalries with Kenny Dalglish. He insists United remain the team to beat in the Premier League despite relinquishing their title to City. And he believes Dalglishs handling of the Luis Suarez race row played a part in him getting the sack at Liverpool. Fergie sparked concern following the nosebleed at a function in Glasgow. It prompted his friend and Wigan chairman Dave Whelan to predict this would be his last season in management. But the fiery Scot, who said in February that he would go on for another two or three years, only plans to curb his excessive travellin

Good sportsmanship is a vital part of any athletic competition. And this is the exact opposite of it. After tripping up his opponent, the player in blue (or teal?) appears to stomp on the downed player's leg while trying to make it look like he was hopping over him. Though the ref blew his whistle, the captain of the yellow side confronts the offender and gets laid out with a punch to the face.This started a scuffle between the two teams while the referee blew his whistle in futility. As ugly as this incident was, at least we know what Joey Barton is up to while he's serving his Premier League suspension. This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events.

When a player that fans wanted to keep moves away from a club, the player is usually the first to be blamed for being greedy, heartless or just a flat-out heel. But after completing his joint move to PSG with Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Thiago Silva has decided to make it clear that he didn't want to leave Milan and he wasn't lured away by PSG's riches. From FourFourTwo : "I was happy with the transfer and sad about my exit from Milan because I experienced there were some strong emotions there," he said. [...] "People call me a mercenary, which leaves me upset. I am not making more money at PSG. This is not my fault, I would like to apologise to the fans. "This was a difficult situation for me: I did not want to leave Milan, and neither did my family. But it was a positive thing because [PSG sporting director] Leonardo and Carlo Ancelotti called me. It's easy to apologize after saying "this is not my fault" and it's already been established tha

Now that Zlatan Ibrahimovic has moved to Paris and the constant threat of being kicked has moved on with him, the remaining Milan players seem to be in a jovial mood. At their Milanello training complex, Kevin-Prince Boateng, Robinho and Rodney Strasser had themselves a little dance party, with Boateng leading the way and keeping his Michael Jackson moves fresh. Both Strasser and Robinho have been on the wrong end of a Zlatan kicking in the past, but now? Now they dance.

Following Spain's Olympic warm-up victory over Mexico in Cadiz, the team headed to Jerez airport to catch a flight back to Madrid. While waiting to board, Athletic Bilbao winger Iker Muniain was taught a valuable lesson: fall asleep in front of your teammates and David De Gea will put things in your mouth and upload a picture of you to Twitter . Today's award for Best Twitter Picture by a Spanish Footballer, however, goes to Gerrard Pique. After all, it's not every day that a killer whale licks your face while a Colombian pop star laughs at you ...

MEN Sport editor Peter Spencer MEN Sport editor Peter Spencer will be online for a live webchat today at noon to discuss transfers, the new season, Olympics and anything else that takes your fancy. The webchat will take place within our rolling sports blog. Peter will be online at noon but feel free to submit your questions early via the box below. Tweet

You're here, Paris. This is Zlatan. I...am Zlatan. Your city has finally accomplished somethingculturally andartistically important. You can thank me later. Right after you thank me now. I'm pleased you built this large tower behind me in my honor. It's only slightly smaller than me, but I still deem it worthy of being called the Ibraffil Tower. I just made that name up right now. This is what your money gets. Before we go any further in this Zlatan-Zlatee relationship, I'm going to slap you with some words: I will admit that I only know two facts about Ligue 1. That I am already the best player in its now completely irrelevant history and that Pep Guardiola isn't here. Seriously, if he was here you would have to tell me. Because then I would research the name of a localhair losstreatment facility just so I could casually mention it to him and enjoy the thought of his profoundembarrassmentwhen he happens to drive by it one day and realizes what I meant. That's c

Manchester United began their preparations for the new season with an unconvincing win over mid-table South African outfit AmaZulu in Durban. Federico Macheda scored the only goal midway through the first half as United took the first steps in their bid to wrest back the Barclays Premier League title they lost to Manchester City in dramatic circumstances on the final day of last season. An experimental United side looked short of their best, with goalkeeper Anders Lindegaard called on to make a couple of decent saves, while the hosts were only denied a penalty due to an offside flag. Yet with four players in the United line-up who have yet to make their competitive debuts - and more introduced in the second half - perhaps a low-key outing was to be expected. United new boy Shinji Kagawa made a late substitute appearance too and Ferguson will expect a substantial improvement during United's 22,000-mile pre-season campaign. Macheda in particular will hope to

Going into Wednesday's afternoon match between New York and Chicago, Thierry Henry was fifth in MLS with nine goals this season even though he hasn't scored any since April 28. In the 71st minute of the match, Henry ended that streak by chesting down a cross and pinging his shot off the far post for his 10th goal of the season. He celebrated by brushing off his shoulders and acting like he's been there before because, well, he has. New York won 1-0.

Coming up with fresh new ways to promote a kit release can be difficult, so Ajax and adidas seem to have finally let outcast employee Merv the Perv run with his idea by watching fans change into the new shirt in a fake changing room. Says adidas's YouTube page: A series of fake fitting rooms were installed inside the Ajax Experience, Amsterdam. Inside one room, one of the walls was fake with a two-way mirror. When fans entered the room and started trying on their jersey, the mirror/wall suddenly opened. And there were Ajax players Vurnon Anita, Kolbeinn Sigthorsson, Daley Blind, Jasper Cillessen, team captain Siem de Jong and women's team players Leonne Stentler and Babiche Roof to cheer them on! That might sound like a sure path to a lawsuit, but the men, women and children who entered those fake rooms likely had to sign some kind of consent agreement to be filmed. Still, as you can see in the video, the wall being pulled away to reveal the voyeuristic Ajax players seemed like

Manchester United's Tom Cleverley (left) in training with the Olympics squad Manchester United's head of fitness and conditioning Tony Strudwick has labelled this summer's pre-season programme the most challenging yet. It is not unusual for United to embark on the first part of their summer campaign with only half a squad, after all, it happens after every major tournament. Neither is it unknown for players to be left behind due to injuries, even if the absence of four senior members of Sir Alex Ferguson's first-team - including Darren Fletcher - is a bit excessive. What has made this year's Premier League countdown more complicated is the Olympics, in particular Team GB's rare participation in it. It has robbed Sir Alex Ferguson of the services of Ryan Giggs and Tom Cleverley, plus goalkeeper David de Gea and full-back Rafael. The problem would have been even worse if Ferguson had not put his foot down to prevent Javier Hernandez being

Around this time last summer, Manchester City, owned by a member of the Abu Dhabi royal family, signed the richest sponsorship deal in the history of sports with Etihad Airways, owned by the Abu Dhabi royal family. This was seen as a convenient and somewhat blatant way for a big-spender to get around UEFA's impending Financial Fair Play rules ,which require clubs to balance their books and break even, with the help of a friend (or family). Well, thanks to a freshly signed deal with Gazprom Energy, Chelsea may be showing that at least two can play that game(PSG will likely also join in once they stop laughing so hard). Gazprom, Russia's largest company, signed a three-year deal with a value deemed "commerciallyconfidential" to become Chelsea's global energy partner. So who cares? Well, this isn't the first time Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich has done business with Gazprom. From the Telegraph : Uefa's rules demand clubs must not accept inflated sponsorship

Despite Robin van Persie's declaration that he would not sign a new contract with Arsenal and publicly questioning the club's ambition on his official website, the team captain and leading scorer was still at their first preseason training session on Tuesday. The following is a transcript of Van Persie's conversation with manager Arsene Wenger as he attempted to speed up his departure. RVP: So. Boss. You...read my website, right? Wenger: Is your website called www.ProfitsandPodolski.com? RVP: No... Wenger: Then no. RVP: Well, I was just wondering if you're going to sell me soon because this is kind of awkward. Wenger: We'll see. RVP: Alright. I didn't want to have to do this, but if ask me to warm up twice during a Champions League match, I'm going to refuse. Wenger: That didn't work for Carlos Tevez and it won't work for you. RVP: Fine. Then I'm going to demand a transfer to Man City. Wenger: That didn't work for Wayne Rooney and

Bayern Munich opened their preseason at Lake Garda in northern Italy by arriving on a sailboat, but when the nautical fun ended, the realities of pushing too hard on the first day of training set in. Surprisingly, it wasn't Arjen Robben (or any other player for that matter) who got hurt in that first session, but manager Jupp Heynckes. At 40 seconds into the video above, Heynckes tries to show the younger guys how its done and ends up with a pulled muscle and a limp. He shakes his head, realizing his mistake, and makes a mental note to just show his players a video of himself from 1973 next time.

Because thats what its all about: pretty colors. (Or just colors.) The visual data representation of the #euro2012 hashtag duringwait for itEuro 2012. Sadly, not enough individual focus on Andres Iniesta. [ Link - with more pretty colors. ]

Old Trafford, home of Manchester United Manchester United have again been named as the world's most valuable sports team, worth 1.42billion. The Reds topped the Forbes list and were up from their 1.19bn valuation of last year. Real Madrid (1.2bn) are in second spot with baseball team the New York Yankees (1.18bn) in third. Forbes top 10 1. Manchester United ($2.23 billion) 2.Real Madrid ($1.88 billion) 3.New York Yankees ($1.85 billion) 4.Dallas Cowboys ($1.85 billion) 5.Washington Redskins ($1.56 billion) 6.Los Angeles Dodgers ($1.4 billion) 7.New England Patriots ($1.4 billion) 8.Barcelona ($1.31 billion) 9.New York Giants ($1.3 billion) 10 Arsenal ($1.29 billion) Click here to sign up to our new free Fantasy Football game where 100,000 is up for grabs Tweet

Stopping an opponent in the box can be difficult for some goalkeepers, but Dida Valdemar of Brazilian Serie B side America-RN has developed a fool-proof technique that will not only put opponents on the ground, but make them think twice about trying to score ever again. Assuming, of course, that they still have the capacity to even think once after said technique is implemented against them. During a match against Ceara, Dida came charging off his line as Romario (not that one) tried to reign in a long, bouncing goal kick. To ensure Romario (again, not that one) didn't gain control of the ball, Dida went flying at him with one leg extended like a spear with a boot on the end of it. Though the spear boot didn't seem to connect, the rest of Dida's body did, completely obliterating Romario (still not that one) and earning the keeper a yellow card. Dida was lucky not to get sent off and Romario was lucky he was able to continue in the match that eventually ended in a 1-1 draw.