Capello declares Jack Wilshere England's future and savior

You are...magnificent.

Now that Wayne Rooney is a shell of his former self at the age of 25, it's time for England to focus all their crushing hopes and impossible expectations on another young player. And manager Fabio Capello has come down from the mountain to reveal who that next deity will be. Welcome to the inferno, Jack Wilshere.

Capello told the Telegraph that starting with England's upcoming friendly against Denmark, the 19-year-old Wilshere will play in the "Makelele role" for the team. Except Fabio says he's better than Makelele so you might as well start calling it the "Wilshere spot of marvelousness":

"Wilshere is better technically than Makelele. He's slower than Makelele but when he receives the ball he is more dangerous than Makelele."

So, Wilshere is Claude Makelele, but slower and more awesome. Got it.

"Wilshere is the best young player. He now plays all the time with Arsenal. If you play with Arsenal, you are a really good player because Arsne Wenger likes good players."

Unlike all those other managers who like bad players? Hahaha when will they learn?! Also, is not only the slower and more awesome Claude Makelele, he is also The Best Young Player. Period.

Given that, you can rest assured Jack the Great will play against Denmark on February 9.

"The players will arrive really tired. They play a lot of games before this. I have to change and make six substitutions. But it will be important for Wilshere to understand he will be the future."

OK. Jack Wilshere, who is 19 years old, must understand that h! e is the slower and more awesome Claude Makelele, The Best Young Player and The Future. He is also Batman, the tooth fairy and now, the official scapegoat. Congratulations on this massive and horrendous honor, Jack.

Photo: Getty Images