DT Exclusive: Ask Kaka

Though Kaka is back in action for Real Madrid after battling injury troubles, he has been left off Brazil's squad for their upcoming friendly against France and he admits to poor form as a result of being less than confident. Despite all this, Kaka has yet again decided to visit a group of school children and answer their questions. The following is a transcript of that event.

Kaka: Hello, children! It is wonderful to be here with all of you and I have been looking forward to answering your questions all day. Now, who would like to go first?

Ahmed: Hi, Kaka. My name is Ahmed and I'm eight. Is it nice to be playing football with your friends at Real Madrid again?

Kaka: Yes Ahmed, it's very very nice! Although I'm not playing my best right now, it's great to be back on the pitch with all of my friends and teammates. Thank you for that question! Who is next?

Serena: Hi, Kaka. I'm Serena and you're my favorite player. When you had knee surgery did the doctor accidentally remove your talent, too?

Kaka: Heh. Um -- No, Serena, the doctor didn't remove my talent. He just fixed my knee and I'm sure I will be back to my best soon! But, uh -- thank you, Serena.

Lee: Hi, Kaka. I'm nine and I take a lot of pills. Does it make you sad that the Brazil coach didn't pick you for his team and that he said you are now worthless?

Kaka: I, uh, I don't thin! k he act ually said that, did he?

[Lee nods]

Kaka: Oh, well...I -- I don't know. I don't blame him for not picking me yet, but it gives me a goal to work towards and for that I am thankful!

Andy: Hi, Kaka. I'm Andy and I'm 55. Isn't it funny how women don't know the offside rule?

Kaka: What?

Andy: Nevermind. Hey, could you put in a good word for me at Real Madrid TV? You don't have any lady linesmen in Spain, do you?

Kaka: I don't, uh-

Danielle: Hi, Kaka. My name is Danielle and I like Brazil. Now that Emmanuel Adebayor plays for Real Madrid are you afraid that he will beat you in the face with a shovel during training sessions?

Kaka: Oh my -- no. I, uh, I know Emmanuel will be a great addition to the team and I really don't think he'll hit me in the face with a shovel.

Danielle: He will.

Kaka: Oh wow. OK, thank you, Danielle. Are there any other questions? Maybe one about what I did for Christmas or what Jose Mourinho is like?

Frank: Hi, Kaka. My name is Frank and I have a question about Christmas.

Kaka: Wonderful! What's your question, Frank?

Frank: My dad said that if Real Madrid don't win a trophy this season, Christmas will be canceled forever and my whole family will have to sell our kidneys. My question is: Why do you want this to happen to us?

Kaka: Oh wow. Wow, I, uh -- that's awful, Frank. I'm sure your dad was just joking with you. I hope. Please, um. We will try to very hard to win a trophy this year, Frank. I'm afraid I must, uh, I'm afraid I must go now, children. It was fantastic to be with all of you and I hope-

[Emmanuel Adebayor appears out of nowhere, hits Kaka in the face with a shovel, knocking him out cold]

Danielle: I told you! he woul d do it!