Dimitar Berbatov is...The Continental

Well hello there.

I see you've caught me taking the dignified decrease to the ground which will earn Manchester United the penalty. Does this turn you on? Because it should. Ha-HA! ... Well, it's conflicting day, so "no" really equates to "yes." ... Please stop saying "yes."

Some Berba-bad mouthers have indicted me of diving, though people who know me know you don't go down which easily -- unless the Berba-beauty like you comes by my carpeted van. Ha-HA! ... Please, do not appreciate which as an countenance of vulgarity. you simply mean which you will gladly fall down for your entertainment if as well as when you revisit my carpeted outpost for an dusk of bootlegged opera song as well as mayonnaise massages. So when should you pencil you in for such the romantic dusk which it will certainly be videotaped by my cousin Timitar Berbatov? ... Ha-HA! Your mouth says "never," nonetheless your gorgeous eyes contend "maybe subsequent Thursday."

You can check your schedule later, though. For now, you must once again assert which you did not take the dive against Liverpool. As you can obviously see, my enviable widow's rise is fluttering in the breeze as you valiantly try to stay erect. ... Shh-shh -- don't concern your pretty conduct with my amorous feet or the volume of contact you suffered, only keep gazing on my widow's rise as well as all will be OK.

Oh-OHHH! The seering pain of being in the general vicinity of this Liverpool player whose name you don't know has only begun to set in! Oh, it is agonizing as well as horrible! Please, when you win this compare because of my noble sacrifice, discuss it Sir Alex to build the statue in my honor, give my mayonnaise-filled gloves to Howard Webb, as well as nurse me back to health with mobile phone pictures of yourself in assor! ted stat es of undress. ... Oh wait, which essentially didn't harm at all.

Join us again subsequent time for another section in the hold up of...The Continental...

Photo: Getty Images

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