Angry Bayern Munich fans gave Neuer a code of conduct

"Hahaha it says they want you to always tuck your shirt into your underpants."

Even before the deal was done, groups of Bayern Munich fans protested against the arrival of goalkeeper Manuel Neuer. Not because he's bad at what he does -- he's the exact opposite. No, these ultras just despise every molecule of his body because he was born and raised a fan of and played for rival club Schalke.

So, Neuer was kind enough to meet with these extremists on his own in an effort to put an end to the annoying protests at training sessions and matches. This kindness was, of course, lost on the fans.

From the AFP:

Neuer met with some hostile fans on Tuesday, but in a statement posted on their website on Thursday, the conglomeration of five fan groups said nothing had changed.

"Manuel Neuer has said how he will behave towards us fans in future, but our opinion of him has not changed," said the statement.

"During the meeting, we explained how he should behave towards us.

"If Manuel Neuer observes the rules of conduct and maintains a respectful distance (from us), there will be no more protests or organised demonstrations against him."

And by "a respectful distance" I'm assuming they mean "anywhere but Munich...or whatever city Bayern happen to be playing in on an away trip."

The leadership at Bayern has made it clear that the ultras' demands will not be respected by the club. Still, the terms of these rules of conduct remains unclear. Here's my guess as to what the main rules are...

-Yo! u may on ly refer to Schalke as "The Devil's Hemorrhoid."

-Whenever someone asks you about your time supporting or playing for Schalke, you must tell them that you were brainwashed as a child and your Schalke-supporting family are all terrible people who only fed you monkey hair.

-Every goal you allow against Schalke can and will be punishable by death.

-You have to grow a handlebar mustache and keep it forever.

Photo: Reuters