DT Exclusive: Villas-Boas plays mind games with Harry Redknapp

With Chelsea pursuing Spurs' want-away midfielder Luka Modric, Harry Redknapp has taken a hardline stance that the player is not for sale. Redknapp has called Chelsea's initial offer of 22 million "a joke," but despite that and his sweary reluctance to be a transfer market player, Chelsea persist. The following is a transcript of Andre Villas-Boas' attempt to crack old Harry.

Villas-Boas: Hello, Harry. it's nice to meet you.

Redknapp: Right. You play the Wii?

Villas-Boas: What?

Redknapp: Nevermind. What can I do you for?

Villas-Boas: Well, Chelsea are still very interested in Luka Modric. I would like to work out a deal.

Redknapp: He's not! For! Sale! I just bought a big sculpture of his head. It's in my bedroom. You think I'd sell him now? You're mad.

Villas-Boas: I have heard that he wants to leave. Plus, I have heard that you are always up for a bit of business. A wheeler and a dealer, right?

Redknapp: What did you just say?

Villas-Boas: A wheeler-dealer. I heard you call yourself a wheeler-dealer.

Redknapp: I'm not a wheeler-dealer.

Villas-Boas: Don't be silly. You are world famous for your wheeling and dealing. I know children in Africa call you The Dealer of Wheels.

Redknapp: No they don't. African children don't call me that.

Villas-Boas: They do. And in Indonesia, they have tales of the Eng! lishman who wheels for deals and gives treats to the elderly in the summer months and in January.

Redknapp: They do not! I'm not a f***ing wheeler-dealer and I don't give treats to elderly Indonesians!

Villas-Boas: This is very disappointing. I was hoping we could work something out for Modric, so I could tell my grandchildren one day that I did business with the great wheeler-dealer.

Redknapp: Fine! You can have him if you just stop calling me that! Just stop! Right now!

Villas-Boas: Alright. This is excellent news. You won't regret this, Mr. Wheeler-Dealer. Thank you for wheeling in my dealing. I wish you only good fortune in all your future wheel-deals.

[Harry Redknapp's head explodes, Villas-Boas is covered in jowls]