Andrei Arshavin conducts greatest Q&A ever, part XXV

The final question and answer to our last exploration of Andrei Arshavin's interaction with his supremely strange fans on his official website was so exquisite that it really should've ended the whole thing. But, it didn't. So we continue with our delightful look into the absurd.

2. From 89026808189
Hi, Andrey)) I don't wanna ask you some stupid question I just wanna ask how you are doing?
AA : Well, not bad, everything's fine.

I'm afraid you failed, 89026808189. Andrei's measured response makes it all seem OK, though.

3. From BeNnY992
Hi Andrey, I love English football and I can play any position except for goalie, I'm 18 years old, I have a good speed and I'm183 cm high. Can I get in Arsenal, at least in the reserve?
AA: There are many people in the world who want to play for Arsenal :) but only those who are chosen by Wenger get in.

I think that's a "probably," BeNnY992!

5. From Moonray
Andrey, do you know about Roman Pavlyuchenko's new tattoo that covers almost his entire arm and what is it?)))
AA: Yes, I saw this tattoo. But I have no right to talk about it. This is Roman's private thing. If he feels like telling about it he'll do it himself. I won't.

Andrei's reluctance to talk about Pavlyuchenko's very vi sible tattoo sleeve seems a bit suspicious. This could mean he snuck his trademark ":))))))))))))))))" over-emoticon on there somewhere.

6. From tania26kmv
Andrey, do you have or ever had any sports rivalry (good one) with someone in your childhood or later?
AA Of course, there was rivalry. With the guys I played against.

They're all dead now.

8. From AndrewRomanovich,
Hello Andrey,
Can you teach Gervinho to pass? (: I believe in Arsenal, I'm expecting at least 15 goals from you this season. Gooner Till I die! I want you to score against Spurs in the next game. Haven't heard He's five foot four, He's 5 foot 4 for quite a while. You can do it Andrey I know it, just find your game and don't be afraid to lead it. And one more thing: Paul Scholes finished his career at 36, Giggs is still playing, Roberto Carlos is also playing. Andrey, we need our captain at the Euro 2018!
AA : As for Gervinho, if he sees a teammate in a good position, he
gives him a pass. He can pass.

First things first, you might want to lower those expectations a smidge, Andrew. Also, there won't be a Euro 2018. And finally, Andrey does not appreciate your attempt at a Gervinho joke. Of course he knows how to pass. Anyone with a forehead that large knows how to pass.

9. From Kristina97
Hello, my name is Kristina, I'm your fan, I really love football and want to play it but my parents are strongly against it. What should I do??
AA: Sometimes you need to listen to your parents.

Telling a young girl not to play football? That's Andrei.

12. From OlgaTrap
I'm curious to know about your ancestry. Does the last name Preobrazhenskiy from
Orel region ring a bell?
AA: It's my grandmother's last name. Her husband my father's stepfather, probably was from there.

Annnnnnnnd we've got another stalker to add to the list. Watch out, Andrei's step-grandfather!

14. From vanya97
Hi Andrey! I congratulate you on the victory and getting to the Euro 2012!
I want to wish you more victories at the Euro and for Arsenal! I have a question: you used to write books "555 Questions and Answers" and" We did it" I've read them all and liked them very much, but want to know whether you're planning to write a new book?
AA: Maybe after my career is over I'll take up a pen.

This is the only reason to look forward to Andrei Arshavin's retirement. Well, that and the fact that he'll have more time to answer questions about everything except Roman Pavlyuchenko's tattoos.

16. From Algalo
Hello Andrey. I have been your fan for the last 3 years. I love the way you play. I live in Ukraine but I support Zenit and the Russian national team. Everybody tells me that I should root for our Donetsk guys but I still support Russia. I'd like to get your autograph. I'd like to ask you a question: Can I get your autograph at the EURO? Thanks in advance.:)
AA: If the security service of the EURO organizers will allow you to get
close to our team; of course, I'll give it to you.

That sounds like a challenge. A challenge that Andrei will probably regret.

18. From nastya1001
Hello Andryusha, this is Anastasia from Tver! I am 16 years old; I love to watch
your game, especially your gesture when you score! If you could correspond with me I'd be very happy. Tell me a bit about yourself! I'll be looking forward!
AA: Read the answers, you'll learn even more about me.

When 89026808189 said he didn't want to ask a stupid question, I'm assuming he meant this one. Then again, it's not really a question, is it?

20. From Queen
Hi Andrey. I wrote to you in Twitter but I don't! know wh ether you saw my message or not. I don't know how to express in words the situation in front of the hotel before the match against Andorra.
Tell me please, do you always behave like this? Or it's just that I wasn't lucky? I hope you know what I mean; I do not want to write everything. We have been waiting for you for you for 6 hours, I really wanted to take a picture with you and came just for that. You can't even imagine how disappointed I was. (Thanks in advance for the answer).
AA: I have my ritual. I don't pose for photos ahead of the game. I'm sorry.

"I do not want to write everything." Jeez, what did Andrei do to these people? What exactly does this ritual entail?

21. From FanArshavin
Andrey, did your teammates congratulate you on getting into the EURO final? Did you congratulate them in return?
AA: There is no such thing in Arsenal as officially congratulating the players. Well, in private conversation, of course, we exchanged pleasantries and not only that :))

OK, starting to get an unwanted idea of what that ritual was.

23. From 100 056
what do you play, besides football?
AA: These days, nothing.

28. From CatsSka
Hello Andrey! A few words about myself: I am your fan, my name is Katya,
I'm 19 years old, I'm from the city of Ulan-Ude (this is where the Lake Baikal is). I like you very much; you are a very talented football player! I've read your book after
the Euro 2008 "555 Questions and Answers" and I loved it!
I hope someday to get to the match of our team! I wanted to go to the Euro-2012
but I'm afraid it's not possible, in one word I'm a student and don't have enough money! But still I hope to see good football! I have a dream you can make come true, if it's not too difficult. Ahead of the Russia-Andorra game, at training, you were wearing an Adidas uniform, I liked it very much, especially the ha! t! I wou ld be extremely grateful if you could give me this uniform for my coming birthday or at least the hat! My address:.Buryatiya, Ulan-Ude ************. Sukhanova Ekaterina
AA It's not difficult but I already gave it away. To be honest, every year,
when we are given these hats in autumn, I take them only to give to my friend as a gift. This year, he even reminded me of it. But don't get upset, this hat is too light for Buryatiya anyway.

In other words, no, you can't have the hat, CatsSka. Also, your head will freeze in Buryatiya whether you have the hat or not. Which, again, you do not. Happy birthday!

30. From 79042681382
Hello Andrey!
How can get into football school?
AA : 1.Start the Internet .2 Use a browser you find convenient.
3. Type in: football school and your location. 4. You will see the links of the schools. Find the nearest to your place, click this link and write down the number.
5. Make a phone call. Ask about the casting of the guys of your age.
6. Take a T-shirt, shorts and sneakers and go to the casting. Good luck.

Perfection. Absolute perfection.

Photo: Getty