De Jongs letter of regret to Hatem Ben Arfa

It's been revealed that Man City midfielder Nigel De Jong has written to Newcastle's Hatem Ben Arfa, "expressing regret" over the tackle that broke Ben Arfa's leg in two place just six minutes into their match last season. The timing may seem odd considering that De Jong didn't do this closer to the time of the incident. But it makes a bit more sense upon realizing that Saturday will mark their first meeting since it happened. The following is our approximation of what De Jong said in his letter.

Dear Hatem,

I don't know if you remember me, but your leg certainly does. Haha that was a joke -- just ignore that, that was in poor taste, I didn't mean it. Really. Anyway, it's been a year and a few weeks since our little, uh, "run in" and to be honest, I didn't remember it at all. After that game I went to dinner with some friends and I had this really great curry. I mean, this might've been the best curry I've ever had. It was just delicious and enjoyable, so that's what I remember that about that day. Great, flavorful curry and absolutely no pain in my legs whatsoever. But this guy who works for Man City* just informed me that it was also the day you got hurt or something and he said I should write to you so it wouldn't be "awkward" on Saturday. And here we are.

I'm not quite sure what to say. You see, I usually let my feet do the talking for me, but that's hard to do in a letter. Trust me. I kicked holes in eight pieces of paper before I finally decided to try writing on it instead. That's far from the point, though. The point is that I'm sorry. From the bottom o! f my fee t, I am truly sorry...that you did not taste that curry I had last year. That was just -- wow. No words for that thing. I really can't say that enough.

Anywho there are no hard feelings on my end and you really don't have any reason to still be upset with me. So I'll see you Saturday. Maybe I'll tackle you again just for old times sake. Haha another bad joke. That's what I do. Just ignore me.

Seriously though, let's both kick Xabi Alonso in the chest.

Sincerely yours,

Nigel "De Honeybear" De Jong

*Just so you know, I kicked him in the face immediately after he said that. Not sure you care, but, you know, FYI.

Photo: Reuters