Soccer Sorcery

Radamel Falcao picked up where he left off in the Europa League last season to win and won the UEFA Super Cup for Atletico Madrid, scoring a first-half hat trick in their 4-1 win over Chelsea. It was an abysmal performance from the Champions League winners, but Falcao -- who has led the Europa League in scoring the last two seasons in a row -- once again showed that he can beat any team all by himself. After the match, Ashley Cole was honest about what had happened. He said on Twitter : Wellll that was a lesson, absolute joke no fight, desire, passion, and a big reality check!!!!!!#sorrycfcfans As nice as taking the Super Cup is for Atletico, the real win on the day was the fact that Roman Abramovich didn't buy Falcao before the transfer window shut. Of course, there's always January. Video via 101gg

It took until the last minute, but Clint Dempsey finally got the move away from Fulham that he desperately wanted. Though he had his heart set on Liverpool, a breakdown in communication between them and Fulham combined with a weak deadline day offer of 3 million (7 million less than what Fulham originally wanted and half of what Spurs ended up paying) prevented that from happening. But Spurs came in for Dempsey in his time of need and got a deal done in the final hour of the window. Needless to say, Clint is happy. From Tottenham's official website ( video version here ): "To play under this Head Coach and play for this club is a dream come true. I want to make the most of it and work as hard as I can to get onto the field and do well. [...] On his departure from Fulham, Clint added: "A lot was said and written ahead of me leaving Fulham. It wasn't how it was portrayed, but that's in the past now and we move on. "I want to thank the fans for everything, som

Napoli owner and producer of awful movies Aurelio De Laurentiis has a history of conducting press conferences the odd way he goes about the rest of his existence. Last year, he unveiled Gokhan Inler to the press by having the player wear a lion mask . And now, on the final day of the summer transfer window, he decided to have a bit more fun with the media in a press conference about Edinson Cavani's future. There have been rumors for months that Cavani would move to another club and Napoli fans have been nervous that the man who has scored an astonishing 49 goals in 68 Serie A appearances for the club would leave just before the deadline. So, ever the entertainer, De Laurentiis had a little fun with the tension. From the PA : The new deal was announced at an elaborate press conference at which the Napoli president Aurelio De Laurentiis, a film producer, announced sombrely: "Sometimes, marriages come to an end. Unfortunately, Edi wants to go to England, to the cold city of Manc

Since England didn't appreciate how brilliant he thinks he is, 24-year-old Nicklas Bendtner has moved from Arsenal to Juventus on a season-long loan. The Serie A champions apparently met his " three demands " of any club interested in procuring his services and now he's wearing a turtleneck and trying to play down his scientifically-proven superhuman self-confidence in order to make a good first impression. Not only does he hail Juve legend Michael Laudrup as the best Danish player ever (instead of himself), but he also says he hopes to show "good play" while also trying to "still be humble." Which is something the Euro 12 underpants advertiser and pizzeria threatener hasn't really been known for to this point. And just in case you think Bendtner is really trying to turn over a new leaf with his new club, it's been reported that he has already asked for the No. 10 shirt recently vacated by Mr. Juve, Alessandro Del Piero (who just signed

Bulgarian striker Dimitar Berbatov has joined Fulham after a frustrating four years at Old Trafford Not wanted in Manchester, not worthy of Florence, Dimitar Berbatov has finally found a new home in London. Berbatov played his part in a dramatic transfer deadline day in 2008. Targeted by newly-rich City and United, he eventually chose Old Trafford. He was photographed through the huge glass window above the Megastore before David Gill quickly shut the curtains. And the Bulgarian was at it again as deadline day loomed this year. Expected in Italy to sign for Fiorentina, then in Turin to talk to Juventus, Berbatov eventually turned up at Fulham via Munich. As unpredictable off the field as he was in his pomp at United and Spurs. Fiorentina were understandably upset at seeing a player who cost United a record 30.75m slip through their fingers. A statement on their website read: The player got on the flight with his agent and on tickets paid for by Fio

Julio Cesar terminated his contract with Inter by mutual consent and signed a deal with QPR , bringing an end to his very successful seven years in Milan. Prior to the second leg of Inter's Europa League qualifier against Vaslui at the San Siro, he stepped out on the pitch and said goodbye and, as he's known to do, he got a bit emotional. Before falling out of favor and being asked to take a pay cut, Cesar won five Scudetti, three Coppa Italia titles, the Champions League and Club World Cup. And now he plays for QPR, a club he says can win the Premier League . But judging by his San Siro farewell, he won't soon forget Inter. Then again, he did have the same reaction when he bit into a pear that wasn't quite ripe last week.

Hello. I am Jose Mourinho, the only one ever to do anything and this is my analysis of UEFA's spectacle of cheating that they call the Champions League draw. Let's begin. Group A Porto Dynamo Kiev PSG Dinamo Zagreb Jose says: Dynamo and Dinamo in the same group? This does not happen in nature. Note how UEFA does this in group with Porto, the first club I graced with Champions League trophy a.k.a. the Jose Mourinho Cup That He Somtimes Loans Out When He's Feeling Bored of It. This is foreshadowing of evil to come. Carlo Ancelotti's eyebrow knows this... Verdict: Pep Guardiola will watch this group at home in his pajamas because I knocked him out of football . His wife will ask him to take her out to nice dinner, but he will be too depressed. He will make up a fictitious stomach trouble and I will laugh. PSG will probably get eliminated because Ibrahimovic needs me. Group B Arsenal Schalke Olympiacos Montpellier Jose says: You don't normally see the representatives

Andres Iniesta won the 2012 UEFA Best Player in Europe award, beating out heavily favored accolade vacuums Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo. It was a surprising recognition from journalists representing each of UEFA's 53 member nations who voted live at the Champions League draw. Messi, of course, scored a world record 73 goals last season and Ronaldo led Real Madrid to a La Liga title while also reaching the Champions League semifinals and Euro 2012 semifinals while also scoring 63 goals himself. But Iniesta won Euro 2012 with Spain and was also named player of the tournament in addition to his often overlooked contributions to Barca. The result seemed a bit unexpected by everyone, including Andres. Here's his reaction to hearing his name... "Is this is mine or do I have to present it to someone else? It has my name on it so...I get to keep this? I seriously get to keep this? They're not going to dump pig's blood on me and laugh now, are they?" "If no

Manchester United have been drawn against Braga, Galatasaray and CFR Cluj in Champions League Group H. The Reds will be confident of progressing past Portuguese side Braga, Turkish team Galatasaray and Romanian underdogs Cluj. But Sir Alex Ferguson will be wary of last season's experience when United made a mess of a similarly easy-looking group. The draw for the UEFA Champions League Group stages are as follows: Group A FC Porto Dynamo Kiev PSG Dinamo Zagreb Group B Arsenal Schalke Olympiacos Montpellier Group C AC Milan Zenit St Petersburg Anderlecht Malaga Group D Real Madrid Manchester City Ajax Borussia Dortmund Group E Chelsea Shakhtar Donetsk Juventus FC Nordsjaelland Group F Bayern Munich Valencia Lille BATE Group G Barcelona Benfica Spartak Moscow Celtic Group

Spirits are high at Celtic, where they've already won the next few seasons worth of Scottish Premier League titles and on Wednesday, booked a place in the Champions League group stage. In fact, these early successes have come so easy that the players had the time to cover teammate Mohamed Bangura's Audi in Post-It notes. Joe Ledley and Kris Commons tweeted pictures of their artistic efforts. And as lovely as the front of the car looks, the back is even better... This is the result of a one horse race.

All the stuff being covered outside the unfriendly confines of the award-winning Dirty Tackle... This isn't really Julio Cesar crying over his move to QPR, but it is pretty funny. [YouTube] Laurent Koscielny: The man who doesn't make sense. [ F365 ] There are no such things as "fake transfer rumors." [ TFB ] These are grown men who go out in public wearing full kits (they are also not footballers). [ RichardP1975 ] Raheem Sterling needs nurturing not adulation. [ Life's a Pitch ] A former DC United player is suing the club for $12 million. No, it's not Freddy Adu. [ KCKRS ] New-look Milan taking long road back to the top. [ Pitchside Europe ] Being Theo Walcott. [ Surreal F! ootball< /a>] All Michael Owen transfer rumors apparently started by Michael Owen. [ BotN ]

After two early goals from Real Madrid gave them a 4-3 lead on aggregate in the Supercopa de Espana and Barcelona midfielder Adriano was sent off for an American football tackle on Cristiano Ronaldo , Leo Messi did what Leo Messi does to get his side back in it. With a free kick in good position from a distance, Lionel Messi got a goal back for Barcelona just before halftime. He curled a bullet around the wall that Real Madrid keeper Iker Casillas had no chance to save and just like that, what was shaping up to be a terrible day for Barcelona was suddenly a little less terrible. UPDATE: That Messi goal proved to be the last of the tie and Real won the Supercopa on away goals.

Barcelona's 3-2 lead after the first leg of the Supercopa de Espana quickly disappeared when Real Madrid scored twice in the first 20 minutes of the second leg. Javier Mascherano whiffed on an attempt at a backwards clearance, allowing Gonzalo Higuain to score in the 11th minute and Cristiano Ronaldo gave Real a 4-3 lead on aggregate by scoring in the 19th minute. Just nine minutes later, Cristiano beat all of Barcelona's defenders and would've had a one-v-one against the keeper, but Adriano pulled him down from behind and he did it by grabbing around a sensitive area. This earned Adriano a straight red, putting an already shaky looking Barca side down to 10 men. It also apparently got Leo Messi angry. Just before halftime, Messi curled in a brilliant free kick to put Barca back in it. This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events.

Aston Villa completed the transfer of 22-year-old defender Joe Bennett from Middlesbrough and instead of a standardly joyous andexuberant photoshoot of the England U-21 international at his new home, the club opted for a more restrained and thoughtful portrayal. This is how it was produced... "OK, Joe. Show me relaxed. Show me confidence. And we want to sell tickets so show me some leg..." "Excellent. Now keep the relaxed confidence -- and the leg -- but let's see some excitement too. Really give it to us!" "Perfect! Perfect! You're a master at this, Joe. Now lets get you on the treadmill. You're running...you're running and you're looking at yourself in the mirror. You're seeing your future self in the mirror and having a sort of emotional crisis about your own mortality. Just ignore the stains on the carpet behind you and focus on the emotional crisis. Ignore the stains, Joe. Ignore the stains!" "Brilliant. Absolutely brilli

This is way late to the party, what with Euro 2012 being over near two months and all, but better late than never and all that nonsense. Some wonderful illustrations from Lee on the inevitability of any major tournament, compiled into one poster . A few examples of the individual countries tumbling can be seen here .

League One side Swindon Town pulled off a extra-time upset at Stoke in the second round of the Capital One Cup (formerly the Carling Cup). Manager Paolo " I do what I want " Di Canio led Town with hissignatureintensity and spurred James Collins to a hat trick by celebrating his goals with a kick up the backside. Collins finished his hat trick with the match's third extra-time goal to give Town a 4-3 win and he probably did it because he knew the kicking from Di Canio he would get if they lost would be far worse than the one he got after scoring earlier in the match. Here's video... And so Paolo Di Canio's managerial success continues after winning League Two in his first season. But his unusual yet highly effective methods go beyond kicking players and stomping around the touchline. After a home win against Crawley Town last week, he even helped out with the mowing. Video via 101gg

Manchester United striker Dimitar Berbatov Manchester United striker Dimitar Berbatov looks set for a move to Serie A after he jetted out to Italy this morning. The 31-year-old Bulgarian has been heavily linked with a4m move to Fiorentina. And airport sources told the MEN this morning that United's 30m-man checked in for an Italy-bound flight. Berbatov has falllen down the pecking order at United and was left out of the squad that defeated Fulham 3-2. Are United right to let Berbatov go? Have your say. Manchester United braced for Spurs raid Tweet

After suggesting that Stewart Downing may need to convert to a left back to salvage his Liverpool career, new manager Brendan Rodgers has changed his mind and decided that the winger's future can only be in the club's accounting department. "He's good with numbers," Rodgers said of Downing."That's certain. When I first arrived here I asked all the outfield players to add up all the goals they scored last season and then divide that by the number of assists they had and write that number down on a piece of paper. Stewart was the first to complete the task and when asked if he checked his answer he said, 'Everyday...' and then he got real quiet like one of those sad people you see in offices. That's when I knew he'd better serve us as an accountant than someone who goes anywhere near the pitch." Liverpool paid 20 million for Downing last summer, but like many of previous manager Kenny Dalglish's other signings, he's fallen out o

The cats that live in the Internet are leaking onto the world's football pitches again and this time it was a bad omen for Toronto FC. Like the Anfield Cat before him (or her), a black cat ran across the pitch in the 83rd minute of Toronto's CONCACAF Champions League match against Santos Laguna.The cat sprinted in from the halfway line and ran behind Toronto's defense as Santos mounted an attack. It then darted behind Toronto keeper Freddy Hall just before Santos took a shot on goal, which Hall was focused enough to save as the cat climbed a staircase and made his way into the stands at BMO Field. It was a brilliant escape from the cat and though Hall held off Santos in that moment, the more superstitious Toronto fans will see this as an evil turning point in the match. When the black cat made his run, the score was even at 1-1, but Santos went on to score not once but twice in added time to win 3-1 and ensure a more hostile reception for all future feline pitch invaders i

In tonight's Champions League play-off match between Udinese and Braga, Pablo Armero was given an absolutely golden chance to put the Italian side 2-0 ahead in a one-on-one with the Braga keeper. As you can see, it didn't go so well. To make matters worse, Braga pulled level and the second-leg tie went to penalties. Udinese were defeated, no thanks to a distinctly un-Pirlo attempt at a Panenka penalty by Brazilian midfielder Maicosuel. Check out that miss below...

Football, by its very nature, is a game played predominantly with the feet, but 11-year-old Gabriel Muniz is challenging this convention. The Brazilian youngster was born without feet, but has been walking since the age of one and regularly indulges his passion for football. He was donated foot-ankle protheses last year, but chooses to discard them when playing. After his story was featured on a popular Brazilian sports show, Muniz was invited to attend a Barcelona training camp in Saquarema, just outside Rio de Janeiro. Barcelona coaching staff were so impressed by his willingness to push the boundaries of his physical limitations that they extended him an invite to train in Spain with the Catalan side. The Telegraph reports: His story and impressive skills inspired the Spanish club's managers and he received an invitation to travel to Barcelona's academy in September. "When he arrived there [the Barcelona academy in Saquarema], no one believed in him. But he proved to e

Liverpool midfielder Lucas was forced to come off in just the fifth minute of their 2-2 draw against Man City because of a thigh injury. Obviously seeing a player forced out of a match so quick is a troubling sight, especially since Lucas missed five months of last season to knee surgery. So the fans at Anfield were left to nervously wonder what the trouble was, but one person in the stands -- model Ariana Lima Bonfanti, who happens to be Lucas' wife -- decided to be a bit more proactive about procuring information. From Eurosport : Being unable to get to the bench to ask him if he was okay, she instead asked one of the policemen on duty at Anfield to go and quiz the 25-year-old star about what had happened. Lucas didn't seem to appreciate the visit from a policeman turned reporter and waved him off as those on the bench around him had a laugh about it. The officer then trudged back past the Man City bench and down the tunnel to report back. Though you can certainly understand

With four days left before the transfer window shuts, Dimitar Berbatov's still has yet to leave Manchester United for a club that actually appreciates his goal-scoring promiscuity. And just as word of a potential transfer to Fiorentina starts to get serious, Wayne Rooney has gone down with an injury that could shackle The Continental to Man United for a bit longer. But as the clock ticks, The Berba decided to put on his best sleeveless T-shirt with the menacing face of a comic book character on it, give a thumbs up and take a picture of his agent finally making himself useful by cooking him dinner to reassure his legion of Berba-babes that everything will be just fine. From Dimitar's official Facebook page : Everything is going to be ok, stay calm, but me and my agent, we need to eat too:))..And don't read to many newspapers, they write whatever they want..:)).. If only The Berba could play wherever he wants...he would play in your bedroom. Ha-HA! Thanks to @Box_to_Box fo

In the summer of 2012, sometime between Italy's 4-0 loss to Spain in the final of the European Championship and the start of Juventus' preseason friendlies, Andrea Pirlo retreated from the putrid society of man. He rose above the murders and deceit, the wars and corruption. He sacrificed all of his worldly possessions and took up residence in a fortified bunker high up in the Alps with just his axe, his wits and his beard for comfort.These are the adventures of Bearded Pirlo. Bearded Pirlo only comes down from the pure air and angst powered espresso machines of his mountain home and into the pollution and decay of the modern world to grace us with the beauty of his football. And sometimes to stare at people who haphazardly park their cars until they eventually develop a sense of shame and refuse to talk on the telephone ever again. For exactly one hour every night he weeps for all those who suffer under the rule of greed and stupidity. Then he collects his tears in a jar and pl

Marco Reus has gotten off to a great start with new club Borussia Dortmund by scoring just 11 minutes into their 2-1 win over Werder Bremen to start the season. So striker Robert Lewandowski apparently felt it necessary to literally take him down in order to keep him from getting too full of himself. As the team jogged backwards during a training session, Lewandowski slyly made his way behind Reus and got down on all fours in his path. This caused Reus to fall over him and roll up onto his neck while Lewandowski jogged off, clearly feeling quite pleased with himself. This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events.

Luka Modric finally got his move away from Spurs, bringing a merciful end to his long transfer saga that has had him linked to half the clubs in Europe. And Modric couldn't be happier that he's ended up at Real Madrid. Upon arrival at the Santiago Bernabeu, Modric beamed (via RealMadrid.com ): "I am honoured to be at the biggest and best club in the world. Everyone I need to grow as a player is here: the best manager and the best players; they will enable me to enjoy my football. I am so happy and pleased. I can't wait to start playing with the team because this is a great challenge for me. This is the biggest challenge of my career and I'm sure that I will fulfil my ambitions. This is one of the happiest days of my career". Coincidentally, back in 2008 when Barcelona were first rumored to be interested in Modric, Spanish paper Mundo Deportivo presented him with a personalized Barca shirt, presumably to try and grease the wheels of the transfer train. And two

Shinji Kagawa nets his first goal for United in Saturdays win at Old Trafford Wayne Rooneys horrific thigh wound will give Shinji Kagawa the chance to cement his role as Uniteds new man in the hole. The Reds striker spent Saturday night in the Bridgewater Hospital after his leg was cut open following a challenge by Fulhams Hugo Rodallega, and boss Sir Alex Ferguson believes he will miss Sundays trip to Southampton and the Old Trafford clash with Wigan on September 15 along with Englands two World Cup qualifiers against Ukraine and Moldova. Rooney, who started Saturdays match on the bench, returned home yesterday morning to begin his recovery and could be available again for Uniteds visit to Anfield against Liverpool on September 23. But 17m new recruit Kagawa has set down a marker to play in the attacking role behind fellow newcomer Robin van Persie. Fergie said in his programme notes on Saturday he believes the Japanese international can provide some midfield goa

Real Madrid followed up a draw in their first match of the season and a 3-2 loss in the first leg of the Supercopa to Barcelona by losing 2-1 to Getafe. In fact, it was such a bad day for Real that Fabio Coentrao was shown a red card without leaving the bench and Jose Mourinho said after the game that the loss was " absolutely deserved ." Coentrao didn't play at all against Getafe, but the frustrations of the day still got to him. During injury time, he shouted insults at the referee , who responded by showing him a red card and sending him back to the dressing room. Coentrao will be available to play the Supercopa second leg on Wednesday, but he will serve his resulting one-match ban during next weekend's league match against Granada.

Both Cruzeiro and Atletico-MG had a player sent off in the 58th minute of their Brasileiro match on Sunday. Half an hour later, with the score at 1-1, Atletico-MG were reduced to nine men with the match's third sending off. And a minute after that, Ronaldinho made a run from the midway line and after beating the same defender twice (once at midfield and again in the box), he put the ball just inside the far post to give Atletico a 2-1 lead. This probably should've been a winner, but Cruziero finally capitalized on their man advantage and scored an equalizer in added time. Still, the draw was enough to keep Atletico in first place just short of the halfway mark in the season. He's been described as past it and lazy, his last club didn't pay him and he lost his Coke sponsorship for sitting behind a Pepsi , but Ronaldinho has helped Atletico-MG to first place by showing off his old flair from time to time (albeit against lesser, but improving, competition) like this. Atle

Manchester United's Rafael celebrates his goal Manchester United defeated Fulham 3-2 at Old Trafford, with Robin van Persie and Shinji Kagawa on target. Click here for our match centre to see how the action unfolded, plus check out the latest player stats, player ratings and league table. It's not too late to sign up to our new free Fantasy Football game where 100,000 is up for grabs - you'll be up and running in less than five minutes. Tweet

GOLDEN GUEST: Usain Bolt was the guest of honour GOLDEN GUEST: Usain Bolt was the guest of honour 1 / 7 Play Slideshow Manchester United defeated Fulham 3-2 at Old Trafford to register their first win of the new season. Check out a selection of snaps from the game on the gallery above. Tweet

If reading the Saturday papers has given you a troubling sense of deja vu, don't worry -- you're not losing your mind. You've probably just read some of the many Luis Suarez interviews that ran in various major newspapers all on the same day, containing some very similar points. There have been accusations that Luis Suarezreceived unjustly harsh treatment from the British press when he was found guilty of racially abusing Manchester United's Patrice Evra last season. But now the Guardian , the Independent , the Telegraph and the Mirror (among others) are all featuring their own interviews by different writers with Suarez ahead of Liverpool's big match against Man City on Sunday that aim to illustrate the shocking revelation that one man can be capable of a wide range of human behaviors -- some likable and some unlikeable. Two of the pieces (the Guardian andIndependent) are accompanied by the exact same so! ft-focus close-up of Luis looking off into the distanc

If reading the Saturday papers has given you a troubling sense of deja vu, don't worry -- you're not losing your mind. You've probably just read some of the many Luis Suarez interviews that ran in various major newspapers all on the same day, containing some very similar points. There have been accusations that Luis Suarezreceived unjustly harsh treatment from the British press when he was found guilty of racially abusing Manchester United's Patrice Evra last season. But now the Guardian , the Independent , the Telegraph and the Mirror (among others) are all featuring their own interviews by different writers with Suarez ahead of Liverpool's big match against Man City on Sunday that aim to illustrate the shocking revelation that one man can be capable of a wide range of human behaviors -- some likable and some unlikeable. Two of the pieces (the Guardian andIndependent) are accompanied by the exact same soft-focus close-up of Luis looking off into the distance and

AAAAHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK: 1. LOOKING FOR A NEW CLUB -- SO I TOOK THE SUMMER OFF FROM WRITING RAGE LISTS AND FIGHTING THE CORN TO FOCUS MY VIOLENT FURY ON FINDING A NEW CLUB TO PLAY FOR AND DOING HOUSEHOLD CHORES FOR THE ELDERLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT I HAVE YET TO FIND A CLUB THAT WILL PAY ME IN URANIUM OR AN OLD PERSON WHO CAN BEAT ME IN A HEADBUTT COMPETITION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS SUMMER HAS BEEN AWFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2. MAN CITY REVEALING THAT THEY ONCE ACCIDENTALLY BID FOR MESSI -- THIS MAKES ME ANGRY BECAUSE I KNOW EXACTLY HOW IT FEELS TO ACCIDENTALLY DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ONE TIME I ACCIDENTALLY SENT A BIRTHDAY CARD TO A PERSON I SWORE I WOULD NEVER SPEAK TO AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY LATER THANKED ME FOR IT AND SAID THEY DIDN'T EXPECT IT AT ALL AND NOW WE'RE BETTER FRIENDS THAN WE EVER WERE BEFORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT WAS THE WORST MISTAKE I HAVE EVER MADE IN MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3. RANGERS IN THE

After failing to secure regular football at Celtic and a disappointing loan spell at Real Zaragoza, Efran Jurez may have hoped his fortunes would improve when he signed for Club America this summer. Turns out they haven't. In a midweek Copa Mexico match with Correcaminos, the 24-year-old fell awkwardly from a tackle and quickly learned that elbows aren't supposed to bend inwards. After suffering the freak arm break in the 39th minute, Jurez's side went on to score 6 goals. So, every cloud... This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events. Video H/T 101GG

David Beckham was credited with scoring an Olimpico goal in the LA Galaxy's 5-2 CONCACAF Champions League win against Salvadorian club Isidro Metapan. The goal came just before halftime and ended up being the 1,000th goal in the history of the CONCACAF Champions League. Though Beckham's corner looked like it was curling towards the far side netting, goalkeeper Fidel Mondragon ensured it went in by blocking the ball into the near side netting over the head of a teammate. Beckham was credited with the goal to give LA a 3-1 lead going into halftime, capping off a great first half for him in which he also set up Robbie Keane for LA's second goal. This isn't the first time Beckham has scored an Olimpico goal. He also did it against Seattle last year , but before that he says he has only scored from a corner kick when he played for Preston North End in 1995.

ROBIN VAN PERSIE: Striker set for full debut Robin van Persie is set to make his first start for Manchester United inSaturday's Premier League clash with Fulham at Old Trafford. United boss Sir Alex Ferguson has hinted the Dutch striker - who, following his move from Arsenal, made his Reds debut as a substitute in the 1-0 defeat at Everton on Monday - will be promoted to the first XI for the visit of the Cottagers. Ferguson has also confirmed Van Persie's compatriot and fellow new recruit, full-back Alexander Buttner, will be involved, most likely starting on the bench, and that he will once again be without the defensive quartet of Phil Jones (back), Jonny Evans, Chris Smalling (both foot) and Rio Ferdinand (leg) that was unavailable for the Everton game. Ferguson said: "I went to see Fulham last Saturday and they played very well. "It's a football club that's grown tremendously since Roy (Hodgson) got them to the Europa League fin

Shortly before Thursday's Europa League match between PAOK and Rapid Vienna in Greece, the visiting Rapid fans came out of the stands and launched an attack on the home supporters that made the Toumbas Stadium resemble a warzone. The Rapid fans launched flares and fireworks into a stand filled with PAOK supporters like missiles and the PAOK fans who didn't flee the rain of fire retaliated with by launching flares and fireworks of their own back down at their aggressors. The result was a violent, unscheduled pyrotechnics show that riot police struggled to contain. According to the AP , the incident passed without any arrests or injuries and the match was somehow allowed to be played after a short delay. PAOK went on to win 2-1 with the decisive goal coming in the 83rd minute.

A month after Clint Dempsey's move from Fulham to Liverpool was supposedly a done deal, the American who scored 17 goals last season is now playing for neither club and Fulham have filed an official complaint against Liverpool as the summer transfer window nears its end. And the reason this situation has turned putrid is largely because of silly, amateurish failures in communication. "Clint's a player that we have inquired about," said new Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers in July . "It's as simple as that. Ian Ayre, our managing director has spoken with the club [Fulham] to see what the position is. And that's where it's at. So there's been nothing more than that. He's obviously a very talented player but we don't like to speak on other club's players. But that's as far as those went really. There's nothing else more." Obviously he did speak about another club's player immediately before saying that's not somethin

Barcelona beat Real Madrid 3-2 in the first leg of the Supercopa de Espana. As expected, the match was filled with heavy challenges and delicate dives, but one of the most graceful and odd examples of Clasico physicality came early on when Leo Messi and Fabio Coentrao tangled. The incident really sums up the whole dynamic at play in a Clasico -- Barcelona try to fly over Real Madrid, but Real counter by rolling over on top of Barca and sticking their face in their butts. Anyway, the mustachioed observer was pleased... This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events.

Paddy Kenny played for Queens Park Rangers for two seasons, helping them get back into the Premier League. This summer, however, the popular player was given a shove towards the door at Loftus Road when new manager Mark Hughes brought in Robert Green. Kenny moved to Leeds to be reunited with Neil Warnock, and Green let in five goals during his home debut against Swansea. QPR have subsequently decided to throw more of their money at the problem, having today been linked with Internazionale shot stopper and Shakespeare-character-soundalike Julio Cesar. Not content with the schadenfruede of watching his replacement's less-than-impressive league opener, and his former employer's knee-jerk transfer activity, Kenny reportedly sent QPR owner Tony Fernandes and technical director Mike Rigg abusive texts after the match, prompting Rigg to write a formal letter of complaint to Leeds Utd. Reports The Guardian : It is understood Kenny sent abusive text messages to Rigg and Fernandes late

There is a lot young footballers must learn, especially coming up at a big club in a big city like Atletico Madrid, but one lesson that should go without saying is not to shop in your local rival's club store. And if you do, just don't stop to take pictures while you're still inside it. Highly touted 17-year-old Atletico Madrid midfielder Oliver Torres did both of those things when he stopped by the Santiago Bernabeu to buy a pair of boots at the Real Madrid shop days after making his first team debut for Atletico. The photo ended up on Twitter and Atletico fans reacted how football fans react to things and Torres then had to explain himself. He tweeted: "I needed football boots in an emergency, don't doubt the Atltico (fan) that I am." Nevermind the fact that in a city like Madrid there must be plenty of places for a professional footballer to acquire boots that aren't Real Madrid's official store, he's 17 and this is the kind of thing a 17-year-o

Manchester United forward Robin van Persie Manchester United winger Ryan Giggs insists the signing of Robin van Persie sends out an important message to their rivals that they are still major contenders for trophies. The Reds finished last season without any silverware after they were pipped to the Barclays Premier League title by Manchester City on goal difference with virtually the last kick of the campaign. It was the first time since 2005 Sir Alex Ferguson's side had not picked up a trophy but the arrival of Van Persie in a 24million deal from Arsenal has added extra firepower. "It [the van Persie signing] sends out a big message," said Giggs. "And it's great when a player comes out and says he wants to come to the club as well. "I'm biased but players should want to come to United because you're always guaranteed to be up there challenging for trophies, there's a great team spirit, top facilities and you get to play