DT Exclusive: Ask Kaka

With Real Madrid in fine form and Kaka scoring twice in their last five matches, the Brazilian's career seems to be getting back on track this season after being plagued by injuries. So Kaka has once again decided to take his typically high spirits to a local school and answer the students' questions. The following is a transcript of that session.

Kaka: Children! It is so nice to be here with all of you today. I'm sure you have a lot of questions for me, so I will promise you right now that I will stay until I answer every last one! Now who has the first question?

Timmy: Hi, Kaka. My name is Timmy and I'm eight. My question is: How much fun is it to play for Real Madrid?

Kaka: That's a great question, Timmy! It's a lot of fun. We are one of the best teams in the world and we get to travel all over the globe to play matches. It's a blessing. Thank you for your question, Timmy. Who has the next one?

Diana: Hi, Kaka. My name is Diana and I like candy. Why did you call Frederic Kanoute, Patrice Evra and Luis Suarez racist names?

Kaka: I- I didn't call any of them racist names! I would never call anyone a racist name, Diana. That's terrible. Why would you think that?

Diana: I could read your lips on YouTube. You called them all racist names and then you said the Easter Bunny is a gypsy.

Kaka: Oh wow. I never said any of that, Diana. I assure you. I am a great fan of all of those players and I would certainly never call the Easter Bunny a gypsy. Wow. Thi! s is jus t all a big misunderstanding.

Willie: Hi, Kaka. I'm Willie and I eat tomatoes. My question is: Why are you a racist? I hated you before, but now I hate you even more.

Kaka: Willie, I am definitely not a racist! Oh my. I can't believe this -- I really didn't say anything racist, children. What can I do to prove that to you?

Diana: Nothing.

Kaka: Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, but I give you all my word that I did not say anything racist. I'm sorry you don't believe me, but that's the best I can do. Perhaps we can have a question on another topic?

Mario: Hi, Kaka. I'm Mario and I'm 21. What do you do when the hotel you're staying in because your house was burned down by fireworks is also burned down by fireworks?

Kaka: That, uh, that's never happened to me. I'm afraid I really don't know. You should find a new hotel, I suppose.

Mario: Hi, Kaka. I'm Mario the same and I like Maseratis. What do you do when you're in a hospital and you're operating on someone and you realize you are not a doctor?

Kaka: You, uh, you really shouldn't operate on someone if you're not a doctor. But, I don't know -- that question makes me very uncomfortable. Maybe -- is there anyone else with a question? Maybe someone a little younger?

Mario: Hi, Kaka. I'm still Mario and I have another question. Why always me?

Kaka: I don't...I don't understand the question.

Mario: It's simple. Why always me?!

Kaka: I still don't understand. I feel like there aren't enough words in that question or something. Anyway, I think we have time for one more question about football, then I must get back to doing things that are definitely not racist. So, please, one more question about football?

Mario: Hi, Kaka. Mario again. My new question is: The room is ! on fire -- I think someone set off the fireworks again.

Kaka: Jesus.