Random musings of footballers before they fall asleep

Lionel Messi

So bored. ... I think I'm sleeping with my eyes open. ... Hahaha not blinking feels funny. ... It's like what Maradona talked about. How he would snort a bunch of sugar and not blink for days. ... I wonder if Pique is kissing Shakira right now. ... If they kiss so much that they get a baby, I wonder if they would let me name it. ... I would name it Lego. ... Even if it's a girl. ... I can't wait to go back to Barcelona and play with my new Prince of Persia Lego set. ... That will be so much fun that it will probably make me blink a lot hahaha...

Andy Carroll

I AM FLYING BUT NOT VERY HIGH

Karim Benzema

I really hope Ribery doesn't put my hand in warm water again. ... That's so embarrassing. ... Even after the 50th time. ... Gotta remember Mourinho's secret to being a good footballer: "Play well or he will cut me with a knife." ... That secret always motivates me. ... If Ribery draws a dong on my face again I am probably going to cry...

Didier Drogba

Time for the di! sgraces. ... First, I scored twice for the Ivory Coast to beat Benin, but Kalou said both goals were created by him and I just finished them off. That's an ungrateful f***ing disgrace. ... Then, I left Kitier Katba with Frank Lampard while I was away and his daughters ended up giving Kitier a makeover. That's a lipstick covered f***ing disgrace. ... Then, everyone has been saying that David Luiz has cooler hair than me even though he looks like a palm tree and my hair is a work of art. That's a disrespectful f***ing disgrace. ... Then, there were those times those two bald refs who probably enjoy smelling like body odor cheated us out of the Champions League. That...that was a...

Photos: Reuters, Getty