Andrei Arshavin conducts greatest Q&A ever, part XVI

No, you aren't having psychotic delusions. Even though we just hacked through our 15th analysis of the ongoing Q&A between Andrei/ey Arshavin and the curious readers of his official wesbite after many months of silence from our favorite Russian, he has already returned with yet another installment of delightfulness. So here we go again.

1. From sasha23568
Andrey, when I watch your matches, you always score ..... Do you think this is a coincidence or not?
AA: Everybody says so.

Yes, Andrei has asked at least 30 people about how he happens to score every time sasha23568 scores and they all agree that it is a coincidence. Well, except Bendtner, but his opinion is worthless. Case closed.

3. From GavrilovaJulia
Andrey, do you sing songs to your children, well, before bedtime for example? If yes, then what songs and in what language?:) Thank you in advance for your reply:)
AA Yes, from The Bremen Town Musicians, for example.
The Bremen Town Musicians is a popular Russian cartoon translator.

Oh my. After hearing a sample of his singing ability, I wouldn't be surprised if his kids have chronic insomnia.

4. From KostyaSuper
Andrey, dont you think that the chips you advertise are not very tasty?
AA: Its up to! you. My friends, who own a supermarket in St. Petersburg, say that these chips are the sales leader.

Wow! A hard hitting question from KostyaSuper. But of course Andrei wouldn't say those pickle chips aren't very tasty. As the ad for them clearly shows, they're made by his own fake grandmother.

5. From GavrilovaJulia
Andrey, do you have a good memory =) Thanks in advance for your reply.
AA: Have I promised something that I havent done?

We've already established that Andrei doesn't have a very good memory, GavrilovaJulia. He doesn't even remember people he glanced at as they waved to him three years ago.

7. From AnYtKa23
Andrey, who is the head of your family?
AA: Children

Yes. Just look at this picture and tell him Andrei's son Artom isn't the boss. Either that, or Andrei is saying that his family is being terrorized by a roving band of kids. Actually, this could be a cry for help.

8. From Saidmahmud
Im SAIDMAHMUD !
: I'm Andrey !

I'm Brooks !

9. From Evgesha4511
Hello Andrey Arshavin! I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH. YOU ARE THE BEST FOOTBALL PLAYER. CAN YOU BE MY PEN-FRIEND?
AA: No.

BOOM! Shut down! Sorry, Evgesha! 4511, bu t Andrey will not be your pen-friend. Not even maybe. Deal with it. :(

10. From LAkers
Hello. I remember when living in St. Petersburg, I got your autograph. Back then you were playing under number 15. And Yartsev didnt take you to Portugal, pissing off a lot of people by doing this. Now I live in Los Angeles. Tell me if you would agree to play for Galaxy maybe in 5 years time? We just have nobody to look at here. Only Donovan and Becks, the others are not even worth talking about. Thank you.
AA: Its impossible to plan something ahead. Anything can happen.

OK. This question starts off with a lot of useless information and ends with a pretty nasty shot at the members of the L.A. Galaxy who are not Landon Donovan or Davey Becks. Anyway, someone somewhere is probably writing a "Arshavin considers MLS move" story right now.

13. From vladislav2929
Hi Andrey! Im an unaccomplished footballer, but Ill be a biologist! I have a question: how do you feel about the macroeconomic policy of Honduras, its main prospects and possible reforms?
AA: To my shame, I'm not prepared to answer these clearly important for
Hondurans questions.

First of all, I love the honesty and positivity of the "I'm an unaccomplished footballer, but I'll be a biologist!" line. That needs to be on a T-shirt. Secondly, how did we get from "CAN YOU BE MY PEN-FRIEND?" to the macroeconomic policy of Honduras? Where else does that happen? Andrei is a footballer who peddles pickle chips and is ruled over by children. Leave the Honduran economics questions for Alex Song.

15. From Gagauzseriy
I live in Moldova. I think that I dont play badly. Is there a chance to get onto the Russian team? Thanks in advance!
AA : There is a chance for a! ll citiz ens of the former Soviet Union.

The fact that you can only say, "I think that I don't play badly" is your biggest problem, Gagauzseriy. Perhaps you should become a biologist.

16. From Natbka
Hi Andrey. I live in the Kurgan region in a small village. Last year I ( with great difficulty) found an Arsenal kit with your number:) And Ive always been dreaming of the Russian national team kit... I even dreamed that youd give me your jersey and sign it:) Can my dream come true?
AA: I do not know. Anything can happen.

HAHAHAHA. Andrei will not succumb to your unsubtle attempts to procure an autographed Russia shirt, Natbka. Next time, be more direct so he can give you a straight "no" like he did for his wannabe pen-friend.

18. From NMaks29
You starred in the chips commercial ... Are you gonna follow Ronaldinhos footsteps from now on?)))
AA: To continue my career in Brazil? No, I have no such plans..

A gaudy Arshavin clothing line would be awesome, though.

27. From LORA12345
Andrey, my name is Larisa. I am interested in football since I was thirteen but we have no football for women in our city. Can you help somehow?
AA: How exactly can I help?

Yes, how can he help? Andrei has repeatedly made it clear that he does not approve of women playing or taking an interest in football, so he's not about to help with this. Looks like it's biology for you, too.

33. From 777Andrew777
Arent you tired of our question? )))))
AA: Im still answering.

And you sound very excited about that.

36. From! sanyga< br>Andrey Arshavin, they say that you graduated from school with distinction. Is it true? Its rumored that even with honors.
AA: No.

:(

37. From standart95
Andrey, hello! Tell me, please if you answer all questions that they ask you? I just wrote you a few questions and there is no answer..... ((((((
AA: Of course, no.

And so Andrei chooses to answer what is probably the question standart95 least wanted answered. Brilliant.

39. From 7895123zZZZZzz
Hi Andrey ) I fell in love with football approximately a year ago.
How many wins have you had in your life??? :))
AA: Enough

So now we definitely know Arshavin didn't join Arsenal in a misguided effort to win trophies.

41. From 333333
Hi Andrey
I want to become a footballer but there is no such school in our city. I live in
Magnitogorsk. What should I do?
AA: Maybe start playing hockey?

Or take up biology?

43. From 10andrey10
Are there players in Arsenal with flat feet? And one more, give me your shoes ...=))
AA: I do not know, maybe there are. Its not necessary to have perfect feet to become a footballer. And its also not necessary to shave them ?

Wait, why is that last part a question? Are you flipping this thing around and turning it into a forum where you can ask fans about foot shaving, Andrei?

46. From Slavagavshin
ANDREY, PLEASE ANSWER!
Andrey, I am 11 years old, I go to the Sports School, but each time I play worse and worse. What should I do?
AA: Consult your coach. Maybe you have a temporary playing recession?

Biology.

47. From Denisfedorov
Give me your phone number!
AA: I wont !

You will get nothing and like!

51. From milkyway
Will you take part in the Spotlight: Paris Hilton show again?)
AA: If Im invited, maybe I will.

Again? Were Paris Hilton and Arshavin in a show together at some point before? Why didn't I know about this? And yes, this needs to happen again.

52. From Akinfaaa
Hello, Andrey.) Have you ever thought what would have been had you not tied your life up with football?
AA Frankly, Im always asked this question. What is the point to
discuss something that will never happen?

Exactly. Now lets get back to Honduran economics...

Photo: AP