Non-reputable paper says Ashley Cole shot an intern with an air rifle

According to the News of the World, the worst publication in the history of humankind, Ashley Cole has joined the grand tradition of footballers shooting people with air rifles. The report, which, again, comes from the News of the World -- a paper that has previously had to pay100,000 in damages to Cole for falsely reporting that he took part in a gay orgy -- says that he accidently shot a Chelsea intern in the side with a .22 caliber air rifle at Chelsea's Cobham training ground last Sunday.

Still, the News of the World is billing this as "Ashley Cole SHOOTS Chelsea teenager" and a "gun horror" even though the intern he shot is 21 years old and didn't die.

From Soccernet:

A source told the News of the World: [...] "Ashley pulled the rifle from a box and started larking about with it in the changing room, not realising it was loaded. It ended up pointed at Tom just five feet away.

"The gun went off with a loud pop and Tom screamed as this lead pellet hit him in the side. It went through his clothing and into his flesh."

Cowan received treatment from the Chelsea medical staff and was given two days to rest.

Police were not called and the source went on to say that Chelsea officials were concerned that "it would be a PR disaster if this became public knowledge, so the club has closed ranks over it".

Yet,! this st ory still somehow reached the NotW, who also had to pay Wayne Rooney100,000 for falsely reporting that he slapped his fiance (now wife) Coleen. Interesting.

If true, it would be the latest in a long line of dumb things Ashley Cole has done and add him to the ranks of footballers who have shot people with air rifles, like Maradona, Darren Bent and John Oster. It would also be amazing that Ashley didn't shoot his own eye out like Ralphie in A Christmas Story.

Though he wasn't reached for comment, I'm assuming former Vice President of the United States Dick Cheney said, "In the side? Pfft. If he didn't shoot an old man in the face and have said old man apologize to him for what happened, then I don't give a spit."

Photo: Reuters